Help !!! Should I go for it ?

Yikes. The "literary" equivalent to the Wall of Sound. Maybe cut back on the Ritalin or Adderall?

Try to break it down to paragraphs.

Something like this:

I’m 17 and just recently graduated high school. For most of my high school years I’ve liked the same guy. In my first year we liked each other but we were pretty young and nothing came out of it.

Two years later and I start to like him again. I confine in my friends, come to find out my best friend liked him too. I lied and told her I didn’t like him anymore.

Anyways most of the people in our year knew my friend liked him and would tease them. I laughed along and pretended I wasn’t jealous on the inside because I didn’t want it to be awkward between my and my friend.

I never teased them though but one day we were line to play sport and he was in front of me, we’re pretty good friends so we we’re talking like normal when I just randomly decided to tease them together (I don’t know why) but he’s reaction surprised me, he got kind of angry at me and told me to stop.

I obviously apologised for making him uncomfortable but couldn’t understand why he reacted that way to me when I teased him but didn’t do that to anyone else. A huge part of me was embarrassed.

Anyways time goes on and my friends asks to ask him if he likes anyone. So a couple of us do, I’m very nervous and unable to ask, though my friends do. He looks at me and blushes but says no he doesn’t like anyone.

Obviously I was a bit hurt but it’s not like I could anything about it. My friend moves on but people still tease them together. My and the guy sat next to each other for two classes and I would purposefully rest my leg besides his and he wouldn’t move away, although looking back I doubt that meant he reciprocated my feelings anyway.

He would blush when we touched however, and he was never able to look my in eyes, though these were just small things I would tell myself to give me some hope.

For our last two years we didn’t talk much as we had very different classes and when we did talk it was mostly in group settings. In our last year we had a ‘Ball’ (prom for the non-Australians) and he brought another guy from a different school as his ‘date’. And by some luck we were sat next to each other on our table.

I talked to him a lot that day because I wasn’t the type to get up and dance and neither was he. My friend that sat next to me on the other side was asking if I liked him again, which I obviously lied and said no. She said that when we were in year 10 (the year I sat next to him in two of classes, and in one she sat on the other side of me) that she thought I liked him because I would always to talk to him in class and when we talked we ignored everyone around us.

I told her didn’t like him because honestly with a couple weeks left of school I thought I would graduate and leave everyone behind.

Another thing was that I overheard his friend (‘date’) talk to him saying “he had a chance and that I was flirting with him but he was just scrolling on his phone”. I didn’t know what to make of that so I just put to the back of my mind.

Anyways I graduated now and we don’t message each other or anything but recently a couple of people in our year had a get together at the beach and I saw him again. I talked to him a bit but not much but it reminded me that I really do like him but as of now I feel that I missed my chance.

Originally I wrote this to ask whether I should message him first or not but after writing this I realised that I should probably move on. I like him and I like the feeling of liking him, I don’t mind that nothing came out of my feelings for him but it was fun watching him from afar I guess.

To end this I guess I don’t need advice, I simply needed a place to vent. Sorry for this long ass passage and if you ended up reading all of this thanks lol


Do what your heart tells you to do. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.