Small claims court for belongings?

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My [ex] girlfriend of just over 2 years asked me to move out of her parent's house on Dec. 24th 2021 so she could have "space" to "work on herself". She had self admittedly been cheating on me with multiple people & left this same day to meet with one of said people. I was under the impression she wanted to actually remain together as she continuously said so & hinted at such. This went on for awhile. I wasn't entirely sure so I took a majority of my belongings that day.

After about a month it was clear we were not going to remain together; she removed relationship status', hide/removed pictures of us online, was almost impossible to get ahold of & decided we "needed a break". I knew she was staying with this "guy friend" of her's (one of her middle school ex boyfriends; a methhead whom she bailed out of jail while we were together [I guess]), & was informed by her best friend she was sleeping with him as well. It was also obvious she was pursuing things with that person by their public posts to eachother online.

I had asked her multiple times as well as her dad if I could come pickup the rest of my belongings. Her dad ignored my messages and she either ignored me or told me "Whatever" in response. Fast forward to mid summer 2022; after having my phone number blocked & being blocked on other forms of social media we used to communicate, my parent's contacted her.

I have received most of my clothes, personal items & such. There are a few items that have not been returned however. From my understanding my parents have not been able to get a response from my ex since the last time she dropped things of.

I was recently able to get ahold of my ex to ask her if she had gone through the items of her's I had set out to see if everything was there. She took this as I was asking about my remaining items & exclaimed she had nothing left of mine; very confusing. I then followed it up with actually asking about my remaining items. Communication again ceased.

The items are as follows; an automotive battery jump starting pack, a few tools, a model semi truck kit and a set of wheels/tires. The model kit & tools though I'd like to have back is not important to me. The jump pack was a gift from a former employer and the wheels are a very hard to find factory wheel for the type of cars I own/collect.

I know for a fact my ex has or at least had these items. I didn't have the room nor means to transport them at the time I was asked to leave & obviously wasn't granted the ability to go get them. With that being said, I want my stuff back. Friends and family say to just forget about it.

I can afford to replace these items however when it comes to the wheels it will be difficult to replace them. I'm torn on whether to contact the authorities about trying to get them, file in small claims court or what to do. I only have a receipt for the wheels as it was a personal/private sale. Everything else was a gift or the receipt(s) were left at my ex's.

I've suffered enough BS from this "relationship" and I think I at least deserve my belongings back. I really could fill this threads 65,000 characters with everything that's transpired but it's not entirely relevant.

I will mention my ex is pregnant with her first child with..I think the second guy since we were together. Not relevant entirely but I believe it speaks to the fact there will never be a rekindling of said relationship nor a start of a new one between us. Court isn't the route I'd want to go but.. I don't believe I'm left with many other options.

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Type: Question • Score: 4 • Views: 3,399 • Replies: 28

[+3] - neptuneblue - 11/27/2022[quote="CarHauler955"]Edit: For what it's worth, the entire thing has left a wound not many even understand. There are things that happened some will likely never know. Nearly a year...

You're going to make a bigger thing out of what can not be worth over a couple of hundred bucks. Hasn't this open wound hurt enough.

Drop it and be glad you've retrieved what you've retrieved.

Small claims is one of the few places where justice is served in quickly.

But I think you would serve yourself an even quicker justice by leaving it where it lays.

1 Reply

@bobsal u1553115,

Perhaps so. I was taken for quite a bit financially besides the emotional BS. I mean for example, I bought a nearly $400 IPad (which I also have electronic/online receipts for), for her shortly before. Not to mention the "Oh I can't afford my car insurance", needing money for little things & the massive grocery shopping lists I forked out for
The last of which was days before so I never used any of said items. 😂 Just donated to a cause I guess. I took care of things because that's what a guy does for someone their with.

It seems excessive to me to lose so much and be fine with it at the end of the day. I also have to wonder; what is someone going to do with 1999 Mitsubishi Eclipse GSX wheels that quite literally will not fit any of their vehicles? Maybe I'm off base here but it seems stupid to "reward" someone for not only screwing you over but taking advantage of you financially, then allowing them to essentially steal from you and keep said items.

Again, there's so much more to "this". I'm just tired of how those that cause the issues, pain or what have you get away with everything. No accountability held to them, no responsibility & you're supposed to be content with it. Mind blowing to me.

Thanks for the response.

Edit: For what it's worth, the entire thing has left a wound not many even understand. There are things that happened some will likely never know. Nearly a year later I'm in about the same place as I was then.. I'm still trying to figure out what will or can even aid in helping said wound let alone entirely healing it. That's a different topic obviously.. One I have yet to even begin to figure out.

2 Replies

@CarHauler955,

You may be more surprised how common this is.

The part that shows me the potential for eternal grief and recrimination, is where you claim the loss of a lot of money spent on or around her. You are testifying yourself as to the inability between you two to come up with what belongs and why, to whom.

Have you been keeping a record of what you've spent and which of you are responsible for what? A small claims court won't recognize that claim! Your own mother would snicker at you. Why were you keeping even a mental book of accounts? Because even you knew this relationship was going nowhere, and you knew you would want "paybacks"??

She's done with you. It's time to be done with her. You will not even begin to get over her until you disengage in all ways, including trying to get even.

Move on for your own sake.

1 Reply

@CarHauler955,

CarHauler955 wrote:

Edit: For what it's worth, the entire thing has left a wound not many even understand. There are things that happened some will likely never know. Nearly a year later I'm in about the same place as I was then.. I'm still trying to figure out what will or can even aid in helping said wound let alone entirely healing it. That's a different topic obviously.. One I have yet to even begin to figure out.

You have to make a decision and let it be the finality. You can choose to exercise your right to go to Small Claims Court. I just don't see how that will be helpful when 1) she doesn't show up for Court, you win be default and still nothing gets returned to you or 2) she does show up for Court, states she no longer has said items and the case is dismissed.

Swallow the bitter pill. You've been dealt a very poor circumstance.

But that doesn't mean you have to dwell on it and make yourself miserable for a moment longer. Learn to accept things you cannot change. Yes, it's painful. No, sometimes the good guy does not win.

So, today, make the commitment to move forward, Either file the Small Claims Court paperwork in the morning OR decide to let it go. And yes, be ok at the end of the day, no matter what you choose.

2 Replies

@neptuneblue,

neptuneblue wrote:

You have to make a decision and let it be the finality. You can choose to exercise your right to go to Small Claims Court. I just don't see how that will be helpful when 1) she doesn't show up for Court, you win be default and still nothing gets returned to you or 2) she does show up for Court, states she no longer has said items and the case is dismissed.

While I have zero experience with small claims court, I am a bit skeptical that things would turn out that way.

If she didn't show up and he won by default, I would think the result would be some kind of court order or injunction requiring her to to return the items or pay for them.

If she showed up and said that she no longer has the items, I would think the next question would be "what happened to them", and the end result would be her being required to either retrieve the items or pay for them.

1 Reply

@oralloy,

Quote:

If she didn't show up and he won by default, I would think the result would be some kind of court order or injunction requiring her to to return the items or pay for them.

True. However, OP has no receipts for the merchandise or any physical evidence she has these items. It would be a paper only victory, virtually unenforceable as a Judgment. It will sit on her civil record but in reality that doesn't actually "do" anything. A Judge would not recommend garnishment of wages or issue an arrest warrant on a he said/she said civil case.

Quote:

If she showed up and said that she no longer has the items, I would think the next question would be "what happened to them", and the end result would be her being required to either retrieve the items or pay for them.

In addition to above she could claim he already retrieved the items since she's already told him she doesn't have anything of his. Again, it boils down to a he said/she said version with no co-ordinating evidence proving she still currently has his items.

Sure, go to Court. But he'll never see those items ever again.

2 Replies

@neptuneblue,

Default small claims are reclaimable, I've collected twice from landlords who thought defaulting was a great way to beat the courts and former tenants.

Attached five cars belonging to one of them and consigned them to a sheriff's sale. Had my check before noon, when the sheriff sealed all five cars (including the junked Dodge Dart behind his garage.) The other guy did the same when his brand-new Ford F-15 got sealed. He had to take a bus downtown to pay his judgement in cash.

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@bobsal u1553115,

I simply want what is actually mine. I only stated for the BS a person went through I could get back everything that's documented online.🤷‍♂️

If I wanted to I could spend a few hours detailing what's really gone on. I think most would agree "FDB" & get your belongings back. Most of which were mine before I wasted years of my life.

Thanks for the reply.

0 Replies

@neptuneblue,

Easiest solved issues by those from the outside looking in. I sure wish I had thought of just accepting reality and letting it be that. Those God damn "emotions" they call them; crazy.

I guess I was unaware that a court matter means we're just playing pretend & it doesn't really matter. Hell, that's lucky for her! Crazy.

1 Reply

@neptuneblue,

I have a receipt for the wheels. I can prove the date I got them in which she was with me. I also have verifiable location services that show I have not been to the location/address since December 24th, 2021. I ALSO could retrieve evidence of making contact to pickup items & being ignored/brushed off. 😉

1 Reply

@CarHauler955,

You're acting like you're the first person EVER to go through a nasty breakup. Yes, you are going to HAVE to get over it. No one said it's going to be easy or pretty. But lamenting YEARS of your life over possessions has got to stop. If you're having this much trouble functioning, it's high time you seek counseling for these "emotions" because it's not healthy the way you're going.

Courts deal with facts. The fact is, you're not going to get your possessions back. Start with acknowledging that and go forward from there.

1 Reply

@neptuneblue,

What is it you're on, brother? Because from where I'm standing you're pretty far read into things beyond what's been provided. Such as "YEARS"; I may be a dumb-ass truck driver/car hauler but even I can "math" December 2021 to December 2022 & get a singular year.

I'm intrigued on "trouble functioning" as well. I likely "log" more high functioning hours in a day than most do in a majority of their week. I don't see how this equates overall but...I didn't start it.

Courts deal with facts & evidence. You don't have any of that but you also actually have factual information & physical/electronic evidence. You're not getting your stuff back. Get over it. Riddle. Me. That. 🥴

2 Replies

@CarHauler955,

Go to court, spend all your money on a lawyer and then afterwards you can come back here and moan about how unfair it all was.

Neptune didn't steal your stuff, she's trying to give good advice but you just lash out.

I can see why your ex decided to **** you over.

1 Reply

@CarHauler955,

Ok, let's try this again.

When I said years of your life, I really mean that. It may have been a year right now but you're going to take a very long time to heal emotionally from this, if you ever do. And that's what I'm concerned about.

In a divorce, the parties go to Court and divide their things up and move on. Except you don't get to do that. You're stuck in limbo, holding on to the notion there's a fair and easy process to finalize your relationship by the retrieval of certain items.

All of the "evidence" you have can and will be counter-offered as her defense that she doesn't have any of it, because 1) items were already returned to you or 2) you already took said items. It's a he said/she said argument.

You don't have to convince me of anything. I'm not the presiding Judge. I think if you thought you had a fighting chance to win, you'd already filed by now and gotten the closure you're seeking.

I'm trying to get you to move forward here, one way or another. Either file TODAY or don't. It's the only way to actually allow the healing process to begin. Do SOMETHING, TODAY.

2 Replies

@neptuneblue,

It can't be stated any truer or simply than that.

He's way tooooo invested in the 'stuff' and if there's an unstated hope to somehow reconnect - this is all recipe for a tragedy larger than the year he's spent so far ruing his lost goods and cash.

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@bobsal u1553115,

People that that really piss me off. They come on here asking questions and when they don't get the answer they like they turn nasty.

2 Replies

@izzythepush,

I know what you mean. It's nuts. They're not here for advice, they're here to realize support for their cockamamie ideas.

Like someone once warbled, 'you gotta know when to hold em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away and know when to run'. This guy needs to fold 'em and walk away. Mark his losses as tuition to lesson learned.

1 Reply

@CarHauler955,

CarHauler955 wrote:

I have a receipt for the wheels. I can prove the date I got them in which she was with me. I also have verifiable location services that show I have not been to the location/address since December 24th, 2021. I ALSO could retrieve evidence of making contact to pickup items & being ignored/brushed off. 😉

Seriously, take it to small claims court.

I can't guarantee that you will get a just result. An unjust result is always possible. But it is also possible that you could get a just result.

I hope you decide to go to court and that you get a just result.

1 Reply

@oralloy,

That's the triumph of hope over experience.

I think he'll just be throwing good money after bad.

1 Reply

Small claims court for belongings?

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