Skipping A Grade. Pros & Cons

Pueo- It is all according to the child. There are a number of things to consider:

Has she had school experience, like nursery, pre-school or kindergarten? I would not like to throw a younger child, with no school experience, with older kids, who already know the "ropes".

Does she read and write? If she does already, 2nd grade may be more intellectually stimulating for her.

Can she "hold her own" with older, bigger children? Is she assertive?

I skipped a grade (did 7-9 in 2 years), but I was much older.

Have you discussed fully with the teacher and principal why they think that she should be skipped?

I believe that if she is mature enough, savvy enough, and has the requisite skills, that she will be fine being skipped. Only you know the answer to that!

I skipped 2nd grade, way back when. A few factors which were considered (beyond the academics) were that I was a tall child (but not a tall adult, hmmm) and I had friends in third grade. The main issue for me was my first year of junior high when I was somewhat underdeveloped. That all was taken care of by my second year in junior high and so I fit in better. I also experienced a little teasing for being a "brain", but I was getting that before I skipped, so that was no different.

Overall, for me, it was a good experience.

phoenix, yes she's in kindergarten right now and yes the reason for promoting her is to keep her stimulated. she reads and writes beyond what is considered "normal" for her grade. they don't think that keeping her waiting for other to catch up to her will keep her motivated, they have been giving her 1st grade assignments to keep her occupied.

as for being assertive, she a junior phoenix!

jespah, thanks for your insight. like the both of you i skipped a grade. the only strange thing for me was entering my senior year in high school at 16 amongst the 17 & 18 year olds.

pueo- So I think that you have your answer. Boredom can be deadly for a bright child. It can squelch motivation. If she loves school, and is achieving beyond her age, I say "go for it!"

Me, assertive? I'm a delicate little flower!

Let me provide another perspective on 'skipping a grade.' I was of the opposite persuasion, and I had to be delayed one grade. I barely graduated high school. I managed to get a degree in accounting while working myself through school. As a matter of fact, all my siblings and I had to support ourselves through college. My older brother got a law degree and ended up working as a administrative judge in California. My younger brother earned a medical degree, and was the first in San Joaquin County to perform eye surgery by laser. He is now an Assemblyman in California, and I had the pleasure of attending his swearing in ceremony on December 2 of last year. Our younger sister is a RN. I married an intelligent woman who graduated from high school, nursing school, and college with honors. Our oldest son is now attending the University of Texas in Austin working towards his PhD. My friends include Norm Mineta, a judge and law professor in Utah, a retired dean of the City College of New York, some retired professors from Cal Poly in San Luis Obispo, several tour guides around the world, a Canadian petrophysicist and his wife now living in Malaysia, a businessman and his family in Singapore, a physician and his family in Singapore, a physician in Dar es Salaam, a couple of writers, a journalism professor and his wife, a retired pharmacist and his wife, a retired engineer and his wife, and our circle of friends that live in the greater San Francisco Bay Area. Not too bad for a dunce. c.i.

c.i., you are definitely no dunce.

A quick weigh-in for the cons of skipping a grade:

My hubby did, and really really regretted it. He had many many problems which he thinks were directly attributable to skipping. (I think it may generally be harder/ have more drawbacks for boys than girls.)

I was given the opportunity twice and turned it down twice. (Well, my parents did the first time.) I was lucky enough to be in a school that let you learn at your own pace no matter what that pace may be, so it didn't matter at all that I was doing 8th grade level math in 4th grade -- I just did the 8th grade level math while staying in 4th grade. Without that aspect, it may have been different. But my hubby and I have talked about this, and our discussions have been firmly on the side of NOT skipping if that ever came up for the sozlet.

Gotta go, can give more details later if you're interested.

i'm interested. tell us more when you can.

Not quite on topic, but my sister started school in an area that had not adopted the kindergarten tradition. When we moved, she was always a year younger than her classmates. With this as my only sample, I would say to go for it. She was quite competitive in school, and in adult life as well.

Both of my sons skipped grades (as did their mother and grandmother).

In England, children start in Infant School (a Kindergarten through Second Grade set up) the term they will turn five. I was a parent volunteer so my younger son, Douglas had already been attending half days. After Easter, he started full time.

When we moved back to the States in January, I requested that he be placed in Second Grade. The principal was willing to give Douglas a try, but was worried about the effect on his brother, who was a year and a half older, dyslexic and also in Second Grade. The boys were placed in different classrooms.

Every Monday was Second Grade Show&Tell. A neighbor popped in to thank me. Douglas's Topic of Choice was "My Dog is in heat and she is too young to know she would not be a good mother but she smells so beautiful that all the male...." Neighbor was pleased that her Second Grade son was now asking about the birds and the bees.

Then I was summoned to the school. My older son for Show&Tell had brought in a jar of earthworms and started explaining, "The earthworm is a hermaphrodite which means that after mating both earthworms are pregnant....."

Douglas stayed in Second Grade. Danny was jumped up to third.

Remember, a bored child is a very unhappy child--and unhappy children are very difficult to love as they should be loved.

pueo,

Because, I think, I was such a show off in nursery school I was sent directly to 1st grade without the benefit of Kindergarten. I've always felt this was a mistake because, unlike Jespah, I was not tall, but short and small, having a deceptively innocent baby face. I held my own, actually, but being the youngest at home and the youngest at school, I developed a sense of privilege that has not served me as well as a more humble attitude might have done. But when it was time to get my first pair of high heels and a bra, I was years behind the other girls, leaving me in a position of competing poorly for the attention of the boys. Now you might be thinking this would be a good thing for a girl, allowing her to focus more attention on her academics. But in my case, at least, it resulted in a sense of littleness, childishness, well ok..........brattiness that still plagues me to this day. Of course, I can't really claim that it was being ahead in school that caused this bothersome character trait of mine, but it surely didn't help.

However, I wonder how well I would have done in the grade behind. I was already showing off how well I could already read in pre-school. (This tendency to show off was greeted many times by a firm thump of the thimbled ring finger of my teacher on my forehead for looking out the window and not knowing the place.) Being bored would have been a problem, no doubt. But as Jespah has mentioned, being a grade ahead can be a problem at puberty and again when graduation time rolls around. But I admit that I didn't graduate, so for this reason I can't comment on that problem. I got pregnant, got married and quit school when I was in the 11th grade. It was five years before I decided to go to college and then I was a single mother, several years behind the others. This condition wasn't helpful either.

There's no easy answer. I held my daughters back, as I have my grandson. They go to private schools which pressure them to work 2 to 3 years ahead. I'm very glad I held them all back. They've done very well, while other, younger ones had trouble. It wasn't that the younger ones couldn't do the work, but it ruins the fun when it's too advanced. All three children have enjoyed the privilege of being one of the oldest members of their classes, allowing them to take leadership positions without threatening their academic achievements.

I'm sure you know your daughter well enough to make a wise decision. But be sure to take her emotional maturation into consideration.

I think Lola's post covered a lot of the same ground as what my husband has said were drawbacks for him. I'll see if I can lay them out (this is from memory, may be wrong):

1.) Lack of cohort. This may have already changed a great deal from when we were kids (70's), but for him it was a big thing that his classmates often had been together for x number of years and he suddenly popped in. I was with much of the same group from kindergarten through 12th grade, (and many from my high school went to my University, too -- there are about a dozen people with whom I have spent 17 years of my education) and that was really important to me.

2.) Physical delay. My husband is now 6'2" and strapping, but he was a normal-to-small kid, and at 1 to 2 years behind most of his classmates, really felt the effects of being a "shrimp."

3.) Emotional/ social delay. This is to echo Lola's last line, which I think is really important. It's hard to tell how emotionally/ socially mature your child is; things that we as parents see as mature (ability to carry on an intelligent conversation) don't necessarily translate.

4.) School quality. I think this one is really key, and is what really makes it impossible to give one blanket recommendation. My husband skipped a grade (or two... I really should know this but have forgotten ) but the school was such that even with the skipped grade(s) he was STILL bored. The skipping didn't cure the boredom. Meanwhile, as I mentioned, my school allowed kids to study whatever they were interested in and to be as advanced as they could handle, and lots of us ran with that.

Most things sem to have been covered, especially by Phoenix. The bit I have to add is pivotal grades. When I skipped,(back in the stone ages) it was the 4th, and that wasn't as pivotol as the 1st, and 3rd, when we were introduced to so many brand new things. (i.e., the 3r's, and telling time.). So I would suggest you weigh in that aspect, along with the others when making your decision. Of course some introductory things can be taught at home. I was taught my ABC's, and how to tell time, before I went to kindergarten. I'm sure these things gave me an edge, because at the time that was a bit radical.

thanks for all the responses. very interesting comments both pro & con.