The Last Words: Ethical Wills

I agree, Noddy.

I've waxed poetic about my mother before but there was never any doubt when we were growing up about her values and morals. She was very black and white about right and wrong. It was either morally, legally, and ethically right, or it was wrong. No grey areas, no excuses.

She taught us to fight to change laws if we disagreed with them but to live by them while they were in place, to treat each other with dignity and respect, and to value the rights and property of others as if it were our own. She talked the talk and she walked the walk.

Somehow getting that message from her grave would not have had the impact it did seeing it every day of my life.

I wonder if these wills encourage you to stipulate the financial inheritance be tied to the moral work. Perhaps it could state that Susie will get $$$/year as long as she volunteers at the homeless shelter each week. Hmmm, I kind of like that concept.

J_B--

I was raised to have a deep distrust of promises exacted from from the grieving family on a deathbed.

Obviously, no one wants to argue with a Dying Loved One, but the act of dying doesn't entitle the Loved One to unreasonable dictates.

Example: One of Mr. Noddy's family has treated his first two wives and his two children abominably. He has borrowed money and possessions from us and from his brothers and made no effort to repay. He lies about large and small issues.

Mr. Noddy would love to have this young man "forgiven" by his brothers--without this young man making any effort to atone--or even to apologize-- for his misdeeds.

Even if the Ethical Will took the form of advising general brotherly love without getting specific about the Black Sheep, I'd call it emotional blackmail.

J_B - I don't like controlling individuals, and attempting to control someone from beyond the grave is, to me, over the top. Leaving an undeserving relative diddilysquat will send out the message, loud and clear.

I actually prefer diddilysquat inheritances and, to me, the best scenario is that each of us live to a ripe old age on our hard earned savings and donate what little bit there is left to the most underprivileged individual one can find.

It's highly naive of me, I know, but I can dream. I received a small inheritance from my mother. For some reason I can't bring myself to use it. I put it into an account until such time as I get an epiphany of what would truly be the best use for it. It's been sitting and waiting for five years now. I'm still waiting for my epiphany.

The final thought in my previous post was tongue-in-cheek.

Sounds pretty presumptuous about the superiority of one's own views, to me; as Phoenix says, very controlling.
An added factor is that I have been around many elderly who got fairly paranoid in their social isolation, so that even if they were not having dementia symptoms, they were misapprehending others' behaviors.

I do believe in personal ethics, but by definition they are personal.

Ok, what I really think, is this idea is goofy.