@Mame,
Funny story...when my kids were very young ...one an infant and the other 4 I was driving and both were in the car. The baby crying and crying ...nothing you can do but try and say soothing words.
We get home and I take the baby out. She has scratch marks all down her face and us bleeding from them. I panic rush them in the house and immediately call the doctors.
While I am waiting on the phone find out this precious sweet 4 year iPod got upset with the crying so she scratched her sisters face. I am thinking what sort of mister is this child...I must have yelled at her and so I had two screaming children.
The doctor calms me down as I describe the injury ...she says oh those are just superficial...clean them up and keep them clean and they will heal quickly.
So I then thinking I have a monster child say what do I do about her sister the one that scratched her. The doctor then calmly explained to me how kids that age are impulsive and just react. But from the screaming and crying it seems she learned her lesson.
To this day I remind her of her horrific actions!
But on a serious note...you do love each child differently, but you love them. I love my children just for being my children, that is the unconditional part...but I also love them for being kind people, for helping others for giving me a hug, for being homesick, I can make a list ...I even love them when they do something not so positive...because that is when they really need your love...I think that helps them to become a better person as they know you are in their court no matter what.