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Laugh for the day

 
 
rayban1
 
Reply Mon 25 Jul, 2005 12:13 pm
I knew it was there, but defining it was the problem....

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element is now named "Governmentium." Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons & 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called "morons", which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called "peons". Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a slight reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. The hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass." When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes "Administratium" - an element which radiates just as much energy as the Governmentium, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 821 • Replies: 11
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amosunknown
 
  1  
Reply Mon 25 Jul, 2005 02:34 pm
lol.... yeah something like that... thats great.
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rayban1
 
  1  
Reply Mon 25 Jul, 2005 05:28 pm
This is not meant to be offensive to anyone.........the bureaucracy is always a lucrative target. It harbors those who are retired but still sucking up a paycheck. It harbors empire builders who horde people like a very productive hen laying eggs.....they are extremely adept at justifying additional positions and will fight to the death any attempt reduce their private fiefdoms. It breeds the attitude that customers ( us citizens) should be so lucky to be allowed to speak to them and that they are doing us a favor to look up and acknowledge we are waiting patiently.

However if you are lucky, you might find one who hasn't yet been indoctrinated, who will actually help you.
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spendius
 
  1  
Reply Mon 25 Jul, 2005 05:40 pm
It was going good until the last paragraph.

Ray still has a slight hope.Somebody must have sweet talked him.I thought he was smarter than that.After all critical morass is unstoppable according to all known science.That's what critical means.If there's still hope it isn't critical.And if it isn't critical we'll have four pints and a bag of salted peanuts please.
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rayban1
 
  1  
Reply Mon 25 Jul, 2005 08:11 pm
spendius wrote:
It was going good until the last paragraph.

Ray still has a slight hope.Somebody must have sweet talked him.I thought he was smarter than that.After all critical morass is unstoppable according to all known science.That's what critical means.If there's still hope it isn't critical.And if it isn't critical we'll have four pints and a bag of salted peanuts please.


You are quibbling Spendius but I don't mind. Actually I think the capsulization is a bit too hard on the bureauracy. It all depends on the person in charge,similar to a retail store. The service and the quality of the product always reflect the policies of the person in charge so, as with all generalities, this one is not quite accurate.
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Wolf ODonnell
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Jul, 2005 04:03 am
Pfft, the entire thing would have been funnier if it had kept at least some scientific fact in the joke.

An element with no electrons is an ion, which is anything but inert.
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thethinkfactory
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Jul, 2005 06:24 am
Oh God - Lighten up people. Breathe and then actually laugh for once.

I thought it was funny - and true. The promotion of idiots seems to be true for every business as well. When you can't fire them - or more accurately - don't have the guts to fire them... promote them.

TTF
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Wolf ODonnell
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Jul, 2005 06:38 am
thethinkfactory wrote:
Oh God - Lighten up people. Breathe and then actually laugh for once.

I thought it was funny - and true. The promotion of idiots seems to be true for every business as well. When you can't fire them - or more accurately - don't have the guts to fire them... promote them.

TTF


Although I did find it satirical and true to the point of truthfulness, I just couldn't laugh at it. Maybe I've broken a funny bone or something.
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amosunknown
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Jul, 2005 06:39 am
lol i love keeping track of ray's topics He gets the best conversations! I get the feeling that he knows theres something terribly wrong and just like the rest of us that cant quite put a finger on it to point it out to others we'll throw anything out there thats screwed up or messed up about this country, or the way it functions.

I agree with a lot of what Rayban1 has to argue about. If people didnt kick and scream societies would crumble down on themselves without anyone noticing. And if he makes it sound worse than it is, then I guess that just gives him a louder voice, since even the people who dont agree have something to say about it. You ignore crazy people, but you argue with people who might just be right.

And what i love even more, are the people anal enough to point out the scientific mis-definitions. I wish I could get everyone from these conversations over for a BBQ and spend the day listening ya'll talk.....
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Wolf ODonnell
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Jul, 2005 06:58 am
amosunknown wrote:
And what i love even more, are the people anal enough to point out the scientific mis-definitions. I wish I could get everyone from these conversations over for a BBQ and spend the day listening ya'll talk.....


Wow. I'm anal. Never been called that before.

Wee! Look, everybody! I've been promoted to the status of being anal!
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rayban1
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Jul, 2005 07:30 am
amosunknown wrote:
lol i love keeping track of ray's topics He gets the best conversations! I get the feeling that he knows theres something terribly wrong and just like the rest of us that cant quite put a finger on it to point it out to others we'll throw anything out there thats screwed up or messed up about this country, or the way it functions.

I agree with a lot of what Rayban1 has to argue about. If people didnt kick and scream societies would crumble down on themselves without anyone noticing. And if he makes it sound worse than it is, then I guess that just gives him a louder voice, since even the people who dont agree have something to say about it. You ignore crazy people, but you argue with people who might just be right.

And what i love even more, are the people anal enough to point out the scientific mis-definitions. I wish I could get everyone from these conversations over for a BBQ and spend the day listening ya'll talk.....


Hey thanks amosunknown.....that's exactly what I TRY to do. This forum provides great entertainment for me mostly because of the quick action and the high quality of the many perceptive participants such as yourself.
Welcome to the fray......since you seem to agree with some of what I present, you are doubly welcome, and I hope you contribute often. I'm a minor member of the conservative side and we need more members. We have some heavy hitters on our side and we manage to keep the libs unsettled. They are in denial most of the time so we know we are having a significant impact.

I don't have PM privileges yet so you are welcome to contact me direct at my e-mail. [email protected]
0 Replies
 
spendius
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Jul, 2005 08:03 am
I wouldn't crow too much Wolf.We are all anal.Heve you not read Freud.

Anyway it is another of those cheap jibes,like "get a life" which stand in for having nothing to say.It allows them to think they are psychiatrists.A lot of female liberals go in for that stuff and there's nobody more anal than them.They use toilet fresheners you know.
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