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please help with proof reading this sentence

 
 
Reply Thu 24 Jun, 2021 11:31 pm
I believe my biggest accomplishment has been my relationship with my students because I know I’ve made a lasting impression on them. The students I had taught came back after classes had finished to talk with me because they felt I took appreciation in them.

English isn't my first language
 
oralloy
 
  -1  
Reply Fri 25 Jun, 2021 12:24 am
Englishishard11 wrote:
I believe my biggest accomplishment has been my relationship with my students because I know I've made a lasting impression on them.

This sentence looks perfect to me.


Englishishard11 wrote:
The students I had taught came back after classes had finished to talk with me because they felt I took appreciation in them.

I would remove the first "had". I am not entirely sure that it is wrong, but the sentence sounds better to me without it.

"The students I taught came back after classes had finished to talk with me because they felt I took appreciation in them."
Lady Lingiton
 
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Reply Fri 25 Jun, 2021 03:52 am
@Englishishard11,
The correspondent Oralloy appears to be functionally illiterate and I'd completely discount his advice.

The first sentence contains two "I" two "my" and an "I've" and is consequently repetitive.

I'm adroit in establishing learning relationships and creating lasting impressions on students.

Our mutual understanding and appreciation is reflected in an openness to seeking and providing further guidance.
oralloy
 
  0  
Reply Fri 25 Jun, 2021 04:50 am
@Lady Lingiton,
Lady Lingiton wrote:
The first sentence contains two "I" two "my" and an "I've" and is consequently repetitive.

Which rule is this supposed to violate? Cite?
0 Replies
 
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Sat 26 Jun, 2021 06:08 am
Whenever students stayed behind after lessons to talk to me it was because they wanted to talk about work, either an assignment set or one they had just been given back.

Students don’t stay behind after class because they think the teacher appreciates them.
Englishishard11
 
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Reply Sat 26 Jun, 2021 10:07 pm
@izzythepush,
I'm sorry you haven't developed that connection with your students yet.
Englishishard11
 
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Reply Sat 26 Jun, 2021 10:09 pm
@oralloy,
Thank you
0 Replies
 
Englishishard11
 
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Reply Sat 26 Jun, 2021 10:11 pm
@Lady Lingiton,
I'll be more mindful towards repetitive pronouns. Thank you.
0 Replies
 
izzythepush
 
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Reply Sun 27 Jun, 2021 01:57 am
@Englishishard11,
It beats living in a fantasy world andposting a lot of obvious bullshit that anyone can see right through.
0 Replies
 
 

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