If you had to say, does my crush like me back?

Reply Sun 28 Mar, 2021 04:31 pm
So back in January, I decided to bite the bullet and tell my crush how I felt about her. I wouldn't say that I declared my love for her...but I wouldn't say I didn't either (for the full story: Edit [Moderator]: Link removed). But nevertheless, she told me that she "didn't feel the same way at this point," and many users on this subreddit have told me that I should still have hope for a potential future.

Since that confession, we have only grown closer: we have texted each other, talking about our film interests, musical interests, and writing interests (it got to the point where we were literally texting during our entire class time), and in many respects, she has become more comfortable in my presence to discuss certain matters, such as existentialism and where we belong in this world (to quote her, "there's so much more depth to you than I realized! I'm so glad we're becoming closer"). I also asked if she wanted to go on a walk around campus with me, and although she was busy at the time I asked her, she told me that she would love to.

Then.....Valentine's Day came around. Now I wanted to give her something, but at the same time, I didn't want it to be too much. So essentially, I gave her an assortment of her favorite candies and a Bob Dylan-themed notebook (she absolutely loves Bob Dylan's music, and she also loves to write). I left it outside her dorm room door on the night of VDay, and the next morning I received this: "Omg I just got the bag. You have no idea how much this means to me. My second love language is gift-giving so this truly does mean a ton. You didn't have to get all of this!!! Especially the notebook (perfect choice by the way!). I've never gotten a Valentine's Day gift before, and this is a hell of a good one Smile....."

At first, my heart practically exploded. I never felt happier. But then: "....I can't exactly tell if this is a gift as a friend or as more, but maybe we can talk about it more later? I'd love to talk to you about it later today or on our walk this week. Either way, thank you so much for thinking of me *smiling face/blushing emoji*" From there, the paranoia began to set-in: what was she going to say to me???? Is she trying to tell me she feels the same.....or is she trying to let me down easy? Eventually, we went on our walk, and while I absolutely loved our walk together (we made each other laugh, we talked about our pasts, etc.)....the topic of "gift as a friend or as more" was never brought up. I was terrified to say something about it, and I'm wondering if she was too.

And since then, everything has been relatively normal: we've been continuing to talk, she's been asking for my feedback on her film projects (always responding with "Aww thank you so much [my name]!!!" whenever I give her feedback), and she's wanted to look at my film projects as well. We intend to go on another walk and she wants to share her AirPods with me during our walk so we can listen to our favorite music (I even made a playlist for us). At the same time, I have no idea how she feels about me. Part of me says I should continue to give her time (she's also had bad experiences with men in the past), but another part of me says that I should ask for clarity on the situation. The fact of the matter is that, with everything I've done for her, I hope that I've made her happy, and more importantly, made her know how much I care about her. I've never felt this way about a person before; she's made me feel better about myself in ways that I cannot even begin to describe.

But again, I don't know. I've been developing a habit of overthinking recently, and while I want it to end, I'm not sure what I should do anymore. And bear in mind, upon giving her the gift, I simply expected her to say "Aww thank you so much" and that's that. But instead, she had to pop that particular question.
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Reply Sun 28 Mar, 2021 04:57 pm
I don't get the problem here. My advice is

1) Figure out what you want from this relationship.
2) Tell her what you want... directly.

At this point it should be clear to her that you are interested in her romantically. It seems that she should tell you if this isn't something she is at least open to.

With everything you have done should be clear to her you want more than a friendship. But if it isn't, just tell her you want. If it were me... I would say something like "I really like you. I think you are beautiful. I would like you to be my girlfriend."

Or you could say "I would love to kiss you".

Or you could say "I would like to spend the night with you."

You have had enough time together. Either she is attracted to you at this point, or she isn't. So tell her what you want, and she will answer the question. If this relationship is meant to be, there isn't much you can say that will screw it up. If she says "No" then you never really had a shot. If that is the case, you get yourself a beverage of choice (for me it is whisky, if you are underaged then make it a coke), you mope around for a day in utter despair and sorrow, then you brush yourself off and get on with your life.

So stop ******* around, and just tell her what you want already.

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Reply Sun 28 Mar, 2021 07:43 pm
It’s been 3 months and in spite of Covid, has there been ANY physical interaction i. e. holding hands, shoulder massage?

Start something like that now and see what happens. You will know if she has put you into the “ friend zone” or ready to move forward.
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