Personality Shift or just PTSD?

Reply Sat 14 Nov, 2020 12:09 pm
I used to take interest in psychology but not so much anymore. The older and wiser I have gotten I feel people are so predictable it takes all of the fun out of it. I have had a violently bumpy ride to adulthood. I do not know what was wrong with me growing up but I was unable to learn subjects that I wanted to and still do because I felt constant fear and despair even when things were going good or so-so. I always knew I loved learning and knowing things but I always experienced serious depression as a child that prevented me from feeling out on things that would expand my mind for the better. I never wanted to be friends with girls my own age because they were only interested in the opposite sex. I missed out on making friends when I was a little girl because I was kept out of school by my parents, and I never even took interest in men until I was twenty three. I have been homeless three times in my life. Once as a child and twice as an adult. I have a weird unbalanced life and finally being fed up with society and burnt out by constant FEAR and VIOLENCE I finally feel confident enough to focus all of my attention on learning things that I wanted to my whole life. Since the COVID-19 outbreak I feel a major shift in my attention being drawn to intellectual pursuits instead of to people. I want to be the mom to my daughter that I wish I had as a girl.

I do not know if what I am experiencing is common, i.e. feeling uninterested in being social and just geeking out instead. I feel a major change in myself since giving birth to my daughter, who I named after the sorceress in the King Arthur literature. It may just be motherhood but I feel an amazing personality shift that I feel like is healing my life and putting things back to the way they were meant to be for once.
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Reply Sat 14 Nov, 2020 02:04 pm
Chalk it up to 2020.

In all honesty, does the cause really matter?
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