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Advice on how to get over not going to my high school prom

 
 
PKK317
 
Reply Sun 19 Apr, 2020 12:00 am
I am a student in university. My high school prom was 2 years ago, and I decided not to go.

I am a shy person and tend to be by myself in most occasions. I do have minor friends but not very close friends, who aren't all in the same university as me. I was also not interested in school dances. Never attended homecoming, nor semi-formal (I don't regret going to both of them).
When I didn't go I stayed home with my parents, assisted with community gardening, and watched the party go on in people's Instagram stories.

A part of me did want to go, have fun and dance a little bit, and enjoy the food, but because of my shyness, and I had no date, I said no to prom thinking I would only be there for the food and possibly sitting at the table all day, waiting for it to end.
This was a decision I regretted deeply. Knowing later on that my parents did go to prom and that my younger sister will likely next year (if COVID-19 ends) go to the prom with her friends, I might be the only one in my family that didn't go to prom, and will forever be known as that.
Sometimes, during my studies or when I watch movies/tv shows that had prom scenes, it made me think about the decision of not going to my prom and wondering why I didn't go, therefore having more regret of it.

I would appreciate some advice from people who didn't go to prom or people who went to prom on how I can solve this issue of having regrets over not going and how I should let this fear of regret disappear.
Would also like analysis from people who didn't go to explain what they did to pass the time, and whether they regretted the decision.
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glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Sun 19 Apr, 2020 01:29 am
@PKK317,
I really didn't want to go to my junior prom, my mom didn't know why but she accepted it. She thought it would be the highlight of my young life....I don't think I missed a thing. My senior prom, ok, I had a boyfriend, we went to the dance (back then no one hired limos, send the kids to Jamaica, and had make-up and hair designs done for the "Prom".... I was glad when it was over....It wasn't the highlight of my young life, it wasn't my entrance into adulthood...I don't even remember who sat at the table, or who got awards.........

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glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Sun 19 Apr, 2020 01:33 am
@PKK317,
Think of it this way, if not going to your high school prom is the worst thing that ever happens to you or your family, you have lived a wonderful life. Save your energy for the truly dire things you will have to deal with in your journey thru life.
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izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Sun 19 Apr, 2020 03:27 am
@PKK317,
They’re a recent thing over here, I never had one.

At the Kid’s prom one of the students decided to make a big splash and turn up in a helicopter. People just thought he was a pretentious twat.

You don’t have painful memories of being a complete dickhead at a prom like so many people do.
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PUNKEY
 
  0  
Reply Sun 19 Apr, 2020 06:28 am
@PKK317,
This week it will be the prom, next week something else. That's teenage angst.

Counting gratitudes helps, but sulking teens don't want give that any energy.

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maxdancona
 
  1  
Reply Sun 19 Apr, 2020 08:29 am
@PKK317,
My advice is to focus the present. If you have a good group of friends, and a fun social life now... the prom is meaningless. Things you can do in college are far better than the prom because you are now an adult and have independence to create the experience you want for yourself.

Get a group of friends together, dress up, go to a dance club. There you have an experience at least as good as a prom (but without awkward teenaged drama and teachers as chaperones).

If the problem is your social life now, focus on how to make that better rather than dwelling on the past.
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Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Sun 19 Apr, 2020 08:31 am
@PKK317,
Hi - I was a bit like you.

So my junior year - I had no interest in going to prom - I did not - never regretted it.

In my senior year - I thought the same thing. My mom kept telling me you will regret it if you don't go. Well, it was toward the deadline of buying tickets and I was dating a boy that was 2 years older. He heard about the prom and asked me to go so I said sure. I got his best friend a date so he wasn't the old guy at the prom (he was only 20) - we went it was fine, fun and all that, but to be honest my graduation (even though a bit boring and long) was so much more a highlight for me.

I think, if I did not go to the senior prom, I would not care and not have a regret. I do not even know where my prom pictures are.

For some people this is a huge deal, we are all different - for some it is a highlight and so be it - everyone has different things that the like more, care about and so forth.

It will only bother you if you let it. If someone asks about your prom just be honest - that wasn't my thing at the time.

Remember it is just one night - you get a nice (not really that nice) dinner, you dance get pictures and go home. Isn't there something else you spent hundreds of dollars at that you probably enjoyed more?

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Sturgis
 
  1  
Reply Sun 19 Apr, 2020 12:04 pm
Never went never had a concern about this decision.

So, your parents went, your sister might. Does it matter? You need to make choices and live life in the way which makes you happy.

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