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Do I have a unique friendship with my teacher?

 
 
Sun 20 Jan, 2019 12:55 pm
I am a teenager in high school and my math teacher is in her second year of teaching (she is in her mid 20s). A couple months ago my teacher came up to me in class and asked me if everything was ok because I looked sad. I asked her if we could talk after school and she said yes. We talked for roughly 2hours and 30minutes about so many personal things. I told her about my drug habits and how much fun I have when I am high. I was able to tell her about the times I was high in front of her and in her class. I told her it was a problem for me and she replied saying she completely understands where I am coming from and that she had a really similar experience in high school. She told me she smoked a lot of weed in high school and her habits have recently picked up again. I've come in other days to talk and she once said that she was going to stop smoking all of winter for me. I have also come in after school to volunteer and she lets me input grades for my class and grade our quizzes and classwork. According to other students, she has never allowed volunteers to grade their own classes work. Another time after school we were alone together and she was showing me techniques on how to relax because she wants to try and help me find other ways of dealing with stress that are not smoking. I started crying at some point and she cried too for a while. I think we have a powerful connection but I definitely can't tell if other students have had similar experiences with their teachers.

She has also offered to help me out for my SAT prep and I go in for help during lunch several times a week. She assigns me extra work and we go over it together. I've told her I'm going to stop smoking too because she motivates me. She also told me that she talked to her therapist about me and my habits and that her therapist doesn't approve of my habits. She mentioned to me that she talked to her husband about me and he told her you shouldn't be friends with students but she was ok with it.

In class I notice that she gives me some quick glances frequently. I am one of her top students too so she calls on me when I have my hand raised. When the class period ends almost every day Ill ask her for sat help the following day, or she will ask me something. I have noticed that she doesn't really do that with other students. I show her pictures of my cooking when I'm high as **** and she laughs. I am afraid that I am pushing it and that she is actually doing her job.

Do you think she is nice to me because she relates to me or sees her teenage years in me? or am I overthinking it?
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Type: Question • Score: 4 • Views: 1,187 • Replies: 3
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Joanna4114
 
  1  
Sat 7 Sep, 2019 01:33 pm
@embiddonovan,
I think you definitely created a big connection. Reading your story, it looks like she really wants to help you and yes, she may see herself in you, since she had a similar experience in high school. Plus, you get along well with each other, so that gives her that desire to help and support you. After all, she's not obliged to help you. She could have simply told you to go to a therapist. Instead, it looks like she's very pleased to spend some time with you.

You have to feel happy to have such a nice teacher by your side. It doesn't happen often.
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jespah
 
  2  
Sat 7 Sep, 2019 03:43 pm
@embiddonovan,
Her husband is right. She can help you -- the best teachers are very caring --but being pals with you is going too far. Way, way too far.

She's possibly jeopardizing her job with all of your conversations, her allowing you to do the grading, getting high while working, etc.

This has every possibility of not ending well.
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CalamityJane
 
  2  
Sat 7 Sep, 2019 06:59 pm
@embiddonovan,
Macron, is that you?
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