boomerang, what about applying for an order of guardianship through the courts? That's what came to my mind from reading your question. Of course, our laws up here in Can. are different, but we see these kinds of orders being granted all the time when parents aren't caring for the children properly. It's not usually permanent, but gives the caregivers rights over the care of the child. I searched for your state and came up with this:
Oregon Adoption and Guardianship
Boomer, yep, watching "Survivor" and cheering Christy on! A bunch of us are -- check out
And while I know nothing useful about the specific laws involved, I DO know rather a lot about 2-year-olds (and littlek does too), so if there is anything at all I can help with on that front, give a holler.
yep, sozobe's offer goes for me too.
Boomer we are so happy to see you so when things get you down remember we love you.
Now what would you like me to sing for you?
I wish the guardianship thing was easy here, mckenzie, but the attorney that we talked to said we should expect to spend 40,000 and take two years to see it through since the parents were being so nutty - agreeing to do it then changing their minds, then changing their minds again, then changing their minds again.
Thank you for the link, I'll check it out this morning.
I'm sure I'll be able to use advice on two year olds, sozobe and littlek - what wonderous creatures. Thank you.
Thank you, JoanneDorel. It feels so nice to be back among friends in this fine community. How about a nice loud round of "I Will Survive"?
I hope CASA is able to help you. I'll keep searching for more helpful links. Hang in there, dear.
This looks like it has some good information. Oregon Foster Parents Handbook
Have you been in contact with Human Services yet? The child should be able to receive Medicaid coverage. Here is a link that may be useful ASFA
I have been in contact with DHS and they won't help because the child is not in immediate danger (although that may be changing even as I type this).
The father is creating havoc this morning and I am fielding panic inducing phone calls from several fronts. The baby (Little Mo) is spending the day and night with his parents (who I like and trust) but he is boasting to friends that he is "taking" him this weekend and now the calls are flying.
I think I'm going to be sick.....
I don't know how much you've contacted the police (if at all), but if it's possible that the child is in danger or could be eventually, it might not be a bad idea to make them aware of the situation if they aren't already. They'll most likely tell you that they can't do anything until something happens, but at least they'll have a file and fair warning. A head start will be mighty helpful if there is a parental abduction (unfortunately, these aren't uncommon).
Keep current photos of little Mo and make sure you take a new photo every month until he's 4 or 5, then every year (as I think you know, a lot of people don't keep current pics of children, and preschoolers change rapidly). Of course these pictures are potentially for the use of the police, but I know you're a photographer so just consider that you're photographing your favorite model and leave it at that. Hopefully, all you'll do with these pictures is put them in frames or albums, but you'll be prepared in case you need to use them for any other purpose.
This family needs counseling desperately. You can't make them go as the parents are over 18 and not related to you. But if you have their ear(s) you can suggest it. A public health clinic will be free and at least they'll get some talking done. Unless the child is in imminent danger or has been hurt, Social Services will not work to try to convince the parents to sign away parental rights. But at least if the parents begin to explore they'll feelings, maybe they'll realize that they're doing their child no good by hemming and hawing about his future.
This is a terrible spot to be in, and I know you're doing the best you can, but this couple is continuing to make a bad situation worse and it's been very convenient for them that you've been able to come to the rescue and take care of their son. Like I said, Social Services will work to keep the family together unless the child is in danger. No one can work to convince the couple that they're doing their son a disservice - not even you, as the court isn't going to like that if this ends up there, as seems inevitable.
I'm thinking you're right jespah - it is probably time to get the police involved. I do have lots of very current photos of him so that is never a problem.
Just to clarify - we have never tried to convice them to give up their parental rights. Our position has been that they need to step up and take responsiblitity but that if they won't do that they need to give us the abliltiy to make decisions for their son if they intend to leave him here.
I have been suggesting counseling since the first day this thing started. I suggest it nearly every time I talk to either parent. They won't go.
I've advised each of them to file for custody to get the court involved so that some decisions would be made about the baby's future. They won't file. Yet, they each threaten to "take" him.
I hate to say this - it terrifies me - but it would almost be a relief if someone would make a move - at least the ball would be put into motion and something would have to happen.
I'm sorry to take so long to get to you here but I was out of town for the last 10 days.
Ok, In OR a "Status Quo Order" is what would be called a "Temporary Restraining Order" in other parts of the country. In this case, to maintain the childs status quo as far as living accomodations if I'm reading everything right. The issue is what is in the child's best interests and whether or not a parent can move the child.
Do you have any legal standing with this child? Guardianship? Power of Atty? If not, filing may be a chore since you'd be acting as an unempowered 3rd party. You also made mention of having had the child for 3 months. I'll double check but I think the "parent" must have had the child for 6 months unless there is a threat of danger to the child which doesn't seem to be the case.
You really do need legal advice from an expert on OR Family Law on this. I'm sure I'm not telling you anything new when I say that this could be a really big mess.
I'll do some more digging around and see if I can find any refernce links to add to those you already have.
Good luck with all of this!
Hi fishin' and thanks for the information. I hope you had a great trip.
The reason I was asking about the Status Quo order is because we don't have any legal standing with the child and we are trying to find a way to get some.
The parents had (a few weeks ago) agreed to sign a Power of Attorney. We had the papers drawn up and then the father decided against it, claiming that he was "taking" the child instead. He still has not "taken" the child nor has he made any attempt to file for custody.
The mother hasn't made any attempt to file for custody either.
The attorney's we've spoken to have said exactly what you've said - a big mess that could take a long time to get resolved and cost a lot of money.
The social service agencies I've spoken to won't get involved unless the child is in danger.
Meanwhile, Mr. B and I are in limbo. Totally stressed and responding to the whims of this child's parents. It's insane.
Yesterday's crisis - like so many others the last few months - turned out to be all big talk and no action at all. (Thank goodness.)
My morning got messed up by having to take the dog to the vet and I just got home so I haven't tried to call CASA yet. I'm getting ready to see what they have to say....
Oh for the days when an unfinished pantry was your biggest problem, eh?
Ha! sozobe -ain't it the truth. At least nobody did "take" my husband as I offered on that thread. (Can you tell I have a real aversion to the word "take" now?)
It doesn't look like CASA will be able to help. The too step in when the child is abused and in danger and only after the issue is before the court in some manner.
I can't seem to get past the boundry of square one.
OK - I wonder about this --
If I can get the mother to sign a Power of Attorney then I'll bet I could file a status quo order to prevent the father from interfering with the baby's placement in our home.
Anybody have any ideas if this might work?
Do you think Legal Aid might be willing to offer advice in such a case? I really can't afford to keep paying and paying attorneys and getting nowhere.
Oh, boomerang! You must be so frustrated. Isn't that just the way? You try to do the right thing and give the kid a safe home and nobody else is acting in the child's best interest. Legal Aid is worth a try, but don't be surprised if they have income guidelines. I'm not discouraging you just preparing you.
I'm sorry CASA couldn't help. They're a good group, just not in this case. grrrr I'll be back.....
Just speculating. It's possible the mother could give you power of attorney to act in her behalf. If so, it might well give you legal standing. Anything would be better than a legally irrelevant third party. Let me repeat - pure speculation.
I found some information regarding Power of Attorney for the Care of Children
It's a temporary thing.
Hi guys - yes, I'm very frustrated but I'm not dead yet.
I've had power of attorney papers drawn up by one of the attorney's we've spoken with so I have those ready for them to sign if I can just get them to do it, swimpy.
That was my speculation too, roger. I'm trying to find out about just such a thing. The problem is - I've spent a lot of money on attorneys already and gone nowhere.
In addition to assuming the cost of this child's care, I haven't really worked in almost three months now because of this - I'm probably getting pretty close to qualifying for legal aid!
Okay, it's not quite that bad yet but it could be a possiblity down the line.
Oh yes - the people at CASA were great. Way, way far more helpful than anyone else I've spoken to. They actually seemed to care about what was going on - it just isn't the area that they deal with. I completely understand that there are kids in much worse positons that need help so I do not begrudge them their positon.