Gay man crushing on much younger gay man

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I'm a 55-year-old gay man who just came out last year after falling hard for a bartender who is almost 30 years younger than me.

I go to his bar every so often and initially, I tried asking him out, but it was awkward and inconclusive. I felt stupid (I'm very inexperienced and feel more like a love-sick teenager than a middle-aged man) and embarrassed.

But since then, I've gone back to the bar every couple weeks or so. This bartender and I are acquainted with each other, but I'd like to hang out sometime when he's off work. Nothing major -- just get a cup of coffee or a beer and chat for a bit. He seems really nice and I'm just really drawn to him. Not really sexually, but emotionally. I truly would like to just be friends.

I don't know how to navigate this. Would it be appropriate to ask for his number, or give him mine? I don't want to make him uncomfortable. Should I just leave him a note?

Thanks in advance!

-- David

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People want to get together when they have a common interest. Since you have talked to this person frequently, you should be asking what he does when not working. Do you even know if he is available?

Big age difference here.

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@PUNKEY,

Thanks Punkey. I've learned a little bit about what he likes to do when he's not working, but not really enough to have any basis to get together.

From what I can tell, he is available. Like I say, even though I had tried to "ask him out" -- I'm really just hoping for a friendship. At least for now.

But yeah, the age difference is huge. Still, I get this feeling that he is an "old soul" and that we may have some connection.

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@Cedar,

I had an experience of that kind, a dancer 10 years younger than me. Thanks to social networks it was quite easy to learn some information about him, his status and generally it helped me to start closer relationships with him Wink

have you already tried this?

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Gay man crushing on much younger gay man

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