Can YOU pass the "Kooky Karl" Kwiz?

Reply Sun 26 Jun, 2005 06:53 pm
Hey, kids! Are you wondering, like Karl Rove was, what the difference between liberals and conservatives is? Neither am I, but then you and I are not as stupid as the Republican 'political genius'. Still, in case you come across someone interested in discussing that difference, here's a handy quiz to help them through the quandary.

1) "Conservatives saw the savagery of 9/11 in the attacks and prepared for war," said Karl. What was the most important part of that preparation?

a) Sitting motionlessly listening to schoolchildren read "My Pet Goat" before sprinting for a bunker in Nebraska to hide for the rest of the day.
b) Preventing Dixie Chicks records from being played on the radio.
c) Re-naming fried potatoes and fried, egg-dipped bread so that France doesn't get credit for them.
d) Making officers who point out what was actually needed for war resign from the Pentagon.
e) All of the above.

2) "Conservatives saw the savagery of 9/11 in the attacks and prepared for war." What was the SECOND most important part of that preparation?

a) Getting the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge opened for drilling, because otherwise the terrorists would win.
b) Getting a massive tax break for the richest 1% of Americans.
c) Letting the guy who masterminded that 9/11 savagery stroll unimpeded into Pakistan.
d) Destroying evidence in the anthrax attack case.
e) All of the above.

3) "I don't know about you, but moderation and restraint is not what I felt when I watched the twin towers crumble to the ground, a side of the Pentagon destroyed, and almost 3,000 of our fellow citizens perish in flames and rubble," Karl told his conservative audience. Which of these noted young conservatives felt just like Karl, threw moderation and restraint aside, and joined the military immediately?

a) George P. Bush, nephew of the current White House occupant.
b) Jeb Bush Junior, nephew of the current White House occupant.
c) Billy Bush, cousin of the current White House occupant.
d) Andrew M. Rove, son of Karl Rove.
e) None of the above.

4) "I don't know about you, but moderation and restraint is not what I felt when I watched the twin towers crumble to the ground, a side of the Pentagon destroyed, and almost 3,000 of our fellow citizens perish in flames and rubble." Which of these was the most valuable result of conservatives not being moderate or restrained?

a) We invaded a country that had nothing at all to do with the 9/11 attacks, and now 135,000 American troops are bogged down in a futile occupation.
b) Osama Bin Laden, the architect of the 9/11 savagery, remains at large, with his criminal organization much larger and more powerful than before the attacks.
c) Virtually every ally we had in the world is estranged, and the United States, formerly a beacon of human rights, is now synonymous with torture.
d) Our troops are fighting alone while the White House pretends that countries like Eritrea and the Solomon Islands are helping the war effort.
e) All of the above.

5) Rove fretted aloud to his audience about the danger to our troops. Which of these actions is least likely to increase this danger?

a) Claiming that war would be a cakewalk and refusing to adequately prepare for the effort needed.
b) Failing to secure weapons depots and ammuntions dumps after the invasion.
c) Equipping the troops with inadequate and antiquated gear and publicly sneering at their concerns, as well as keeping battle-weary troops on the front lines indefinitely.
d) Pointing out that the torture currently being inflicted in the GOP's concentration camp at Guantanamo was pretty much like the torture dished out in totalitarian regimes.
e) All of the above.

6) Rove also said "liberals saw the savagery of the 9/11 attacks and wanted to prepare indictments and offer therapy and understanding for our attackers." What would have been the drawbacks of that approach?

a) Osama Bin Laden might have been indicted, captured, tried and punished due to the cooperation of nearly every law enforcement organization on the planet.
b) al-Qaeda might have been destroyed.
c) Americans might have understood who had attacked us and why they had done so.
d) Mental illness of the sort publicly exhibited by Karl Rove and his audience might get treated through therapy.
e) All of the above.

If your friend guessed "e" was the correct answer to each question, tell him "congratulations." If he didn't get them all right, try this bonus question!

How long will Americans be stuck in Iraq?

a) Major combat operations ended more than a year ago.
b) Just a few weeks.
c) Less than six months.
d) Not long after the elections.
e) For generations to come.
  • Topic Stats
  • Top Replies
  • Link to this Topic
Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 989 • Replies: 6
No top replies

Reply Sun 26 Jun, 2005 07:01 pm
Another litany by a hate-filled liberal. You want to destroy America, don't you PDiddie?
0 Replies
Reply Sun 26 Jun, 2005 07:39 pm
Only the GOP, ed.

Oh wait, they're doing it to themselves:

As of today, after 25 years, I am no longer a Republican.

I take this step with deep regret, and with a deep sense of betrayal.

I still believe in the vast power of markets to inspire ideas, motivate solutions and eliminate waste. I still believe in international vigilance and a strong defense, because this world will always be home to people who will avidly seek to take or destroy what we have built as a nation. I still believe in the protection of individuals and businesses from the influence and expense of an over-involved government. I still believe in the hand-in-hand concepts of separation of church and state and absolute freedom to worship, in the rights of the states to govern themselves without undo federal interference, and in the host of other things that defined me as a Republican.

My problem is this: I believe in principles and ideals which my party has systematically discarded in the last 10 years.

My Republican Party was the party of Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Dwight Eisenhower, Barry Goldwater, and George H.W. Bush. It was a party of honesty and accountability. It was a party of tolerance, and practicality and honor. It was a party that faced facts and dealt with reality, and that crafted common-sense solutions to problems based on the facts as they were, not as we wished them to be, or even worse, as we made them up. It was a party that told the truth, even when the truth came hard. And now, it is none of those things.

Fifty years from now, the Republican Party of this era will be judged by how we provided for the nation's future on three core issues: how we led the world on the environment, how we minded the business of running our country in such a way that we didn't go bankrupt, and whether we gracefully accepted our place on the world's stage as its only superpower. Sadly, we have built the foundation for dismal failure on all three counts. And we've done it in such a way that we shouldn't be surprised if neither the American people nor the world ever trusts us again.

My party has repeatedly ignored, discarded and even invented science to suit its needs, most spectacularly as to global warming. We have an opportunity and the responsibility to lead the world on this issue, but instead we've chosen greed, shortsightedness and deliberate ignorance.

We have mortgaged the country's fiscal future in a way that no Democratic Congress or administration ever did, and to justify the tax cuts that brought us here, we've simply changed the rules. I matured as a Republican believing that uncontrolled deficit spending is harmful and irresponsible; I still do. But the party has yet to explain to me why it's a good thing now, other than to say "... because we say so."

Our greatest failure, though, has been in our role as superpower. This world needs justice, democracy and compassion, and as the keystone of those things, it needs one thing above all else: truth.

Republican decisions made in 2002 and 2003 have killed almost 2,000 of the most capable patriots our country has to offer - volunteers, every one. Support for those decisions was gathered through what appeared at the time to be spin and marketing, but which now turns out to have been deliberate planning and falsehood. The Blair government's internal documentation only confirms what has been suspected for years: Americans are dying every day for Republican lies first crafted in 2002, expanded and embellished upon in 2003, and which continue to this day. This calculated deception is now burned into the legacy of the party, every bit as much as Reagan's triumph in the Cold War, or Nixon's disgrace over Watergate.

I could go on and on - about how we have compromised our international integrity by sanctioning torture, about how we are systematically dismantling the civil liberties that it took us two centuries to define and preserve, and about how we have substituted bullying, brinksmanship and "staying on message" for real political discourse - but those three issues are enough.

We're poisoning our planet through gluttony and ignorance.

We're teetering on the brink of self-inflicted insolvency.

We're selfishly and needlessly sacrificing the best of a generation.

And we're lying about it.

While it has compiled this record of failure and deception, the party which I'm leaving today has spent its time, energy and political capital trying to save Terri Schiavo, battling the threat of single-sex unions, fighting medical marijuana and physician-assisted suicide, manufacturing political crises over presidential nominees, and selling privatized Social Security to an America that isn't buying. We fiddle while Rome burns.

Enough is enough. I quit.

James Chaney is a Eugene attorney who has been in private practice for more than 20 years, and who has been a registered Republican since 1980.

0 Replies
Reply Sun 26 Jun, 2005 07:44 pm
This LTTE ran in the same edition as the op-ed above:

Torture isn't an American value

As a sixth-generation Oregon Republican - Nahum King family at King's Valley in Benton County, 1845 - I am a veteran of both Vietnam and Desert Shield/Storm with 23 years of military service. I am deeply troubled by the reaction from my own political party over recent comments by Sen. Dick Durbin, D-Ill., about the torture of prisoners at Guantanamo Bay and elsewhere.

The real guilty party has instigated a firestorm of criticism from within the White House, which leaks over to include key Senate leaders. White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan and Senate Armed Services Committee Chairman John Warner, R-Va., accuse Sen. Durbin of insulting the troops. However, I am not surprised that lower-ranking enlisted and junior officers would get the impression that their crude and rude tactics were justified with a wink and a nod from their chain of command.

As a U.S. military veteran, 1966 to 1992, I believe Sen. Durbin should be commended for his courage even though he does not represent my political party. It is the White House that mindlessly insults the troops, by court-martialing young soldiers at the same time it promotes those who set torture and abuse policies in motion. It's past time Congress attacked the problem - not those who are trying to fix it - by bringing this mess out into the daylight.

Torture is not an American value that I am aware of. No amount of partisan political attacks will change that.


Blue River

0 Replies
Reply Sun 26 Jun, 2005 07:46 pm
You know, PDiddie, I have voted Republican a few times in the now distant past. I am not proud of that fact, but at least Goldwater had integrity in his life and beliefs.
0 Replies
Reply Mon 27 Jun, 2005 05:45 pm
Darth Vader's Press Offensive http://www.oliverwillis.com/wp-content/vader.jpg

Vader: Good evening. I'm having this press conference today in order to counter some of the headlines you're reading in the media. You know, it's interesting how the mainstream media is always looking on the downside of things. Yes, it's true that the rebel alliance isn't completely crushed as of yet, but they ignore the progress the Empire has made thus far. What of the labor camps on Rebulon? The death purges on Phlanges 3? And I have yet to read a headline about The Great Ewok Cleansing. A more cynical Sith lord would say that the liberal media isn't reporting the whole story. OK, Helen?

Q: Lord Vader, some reports indicate that the stormtroopers are insufficiently armored, that they have been inadequately trained and have been referred to as simply "cannon fodder". How do you respond to that?

Vader: I don't find those sort of characterizations helpful, and I would prefer to not respond to anonymous quotes. That said, I resent the hate speech against our glorious stormtroopers. It represents this sort of... hate speech that is so embraced by the "Hate The Empire" left. It's not patriotic, and is frankly a violation of the Empire's Lack of Freedom of Speech Act we imposed in order to fight terrorists. Next.

Q: There are rumors that you might be stepping down due to ill health.

Vader: There are no such rumors.

Q: There are no such rumors.

Vader: You admire my bold leadership style.

Q: I admire your bold leadership style.

Vader: Next.

Q: My Lord, are there any further plans to communicate the value of membership in the Empire to other nations? And by communicate, I mean, a series of invasions.

Vader: WellÂ… wait a minute, are you from FOX News?

Q: Yes my Lord.

VaderQ: Jeff Gannon, Talon News. Lord Vader, beloved leader and master Sith lord, some of your political opponents - like Viceroy Reid - have mocked your bold and decisive economic policies. They claim that there are bread lines on Tatooine, water shortages on Naboo - how can you work with people so disconnected from reality?

Vader: It's hard, Jeff. Real hard. It's hard work to go about dominating the universe when there are these constant whinings about "freedom" and "civil rights" and protests against "intergalactic facist domination". My job isn't easy. I yearn for the day when the entire known universe is under the yoke of the Empire, but I must deal with the nattering nabobs of negativism both in the political classes and in the mainstream media in order to further our oppresive agenda. It is hard work.

Q: A follow-up sir...

Vader: Yes?

Q: I believe you forgot to leave the credits on the bedside table last night.

Vader: Did I?

Q: Yes sir.

Vader: I paid you in full for your sexual services.

Q: You paid me in full for my sexual services.

Vader: My mask and the heavy breathing is erotic.

Q: Your mask and the heavy breathing is erotic.

Vader: Well, thank you all for attending this press conference. I do hope that the threatened penalty of death was not too nerve-wracking for you. Those of you in the biased or neutered press may return to your organizations. The rest of you are doomed to service in the sarlac pits. May the Force bless the Empire, and nowhere else.
0 Replies
Reply Tue 28 Jun, 2005 04:52 pm
0 Replies

Related Topics

Obama '08? - Discussion by sozobe
Let's get rid of the Electoral College - Discussion by Robert Gentel
McCain's VP: - Discussion by Cycloptichorn
Food Stamp Turkeys - Discussion by H2O MAN
The 2008 Democrat Convention - Discussion by Lash
McCain is blowing his election chances. - Discussion by McGentrix
Snowdon is a dummy - Discussion by cicerone imposter
TEA PARTY TO AMERICA: NOW WHAT?! - Discussion by farmerman
  1. Forums
  2. » Can YOU pass the "Kooky Karl" Kwiz?
Copyright © 2023 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.03 seconds on 05/28/2023 at 10:27:41