Wed 14 Aug, 2019 10:24 am
so there's this boy-a friend of mine, with whom i have been friends for 10 years-we're both 23 now, we run in the same circle and always i have felt there was a tension between us, always liked him,even when i've had other bf's i sensed there was smth-but none of us did anything to act on it: only hints and flirting. despite that, i always sensed that he is the one person i feel the best with, we just get each other. 2 months ago we hooked up(without actually sex because i was on period) and he ignored me for a while after this, when i confronted him if there was a problem he said "no, there's not any problem.let's leave things how they were before this party, i know i was an idiot but i just didnt know what to say to you, i apologize bla bla". ok, i said, even though i was hurt, but i moved on and since then i acted as a friend,when we met on parties. last weekend on his sister's b-day party again we were both very drunk and he tried to touch me more, he finally admitted he has always liked me, but he said "i am an idiot, we're gonna screw things up"and so on, he didn't give me any logical reason why we shouldn't be together, i mean- he admits his feelings, tells me "tell me what yo want to hear" and then nothing. i was a little rude to him that night and the next day asked him if he is offended, he replied no- but nothing, we didn't speak afterwards(besides on the group chat about everyday things with all the others). i feel like this is getting real and want to confront him, to ask him while we're sober(but in order for that to happen i have to ask him out alone-just the 2 of us) because life is short and i already regret all the lost time, but at the same time i'm scared that if i confront him i will seem desperate and also he'll turn me down for some stupid reason. i think what also plays a role is that he never had a serious girlfriend, he is very closed up when it comes to feelings except when he drinks a lot, and also my first bf was a guy from the company and maybe he is afraid of that too. what do you think i should do, some friends of mine tell me i should just wait, but i know that he would be too afraid to initiate it..tnx so much in advance!
Put on your big girl pants and tell him you have feelings for him and would like to see if something can develop from what how you think he feels. Do this aline and without drinking.
Be careful about guys who “ drink too much” They generally need rescuing, have low self esteem and cant express themselves without some liquid courage. I wasted 15 years on a drunk, I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.
What Punkey said. More generally, hetero office romance nowadays ought to be initiated by women, as men tend to be concerned of being seen as harassers.