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Worried about a friend

 
 
Reply Sat 6 Jul, 2019 02:49 am
I work with this girl in work. She is beautiful, funny, caring but there are things that she says that seem off. I know she suffers from depression and anxiety as she told me in passing.
When I first met her 18 months ago she was going out with her friends the whole time at weekends. This week she told me her parents are going out of country for holidays and she alone in the house. I joked she will probably have a house party. Said she not like that and doesn't have a social life. She recently moved into a new home and now the landlord is actively looking for a buyer.
She is always talking and laughing to everyone but I'm thinking she's not ok. Last week she told us she likes to go on holidays and hill walking. She said people are always telling her to find someone to do stuff with. She goes to concerts with her mom and enjoys her moms company. She once told us when her mom was 16 she represented her country, at underage athletics, and that she had not done anything like that.
Looking back she seems a bit down at times but still shows happiness outside.
I know I've only know here for a short time but I see so much of me in her. I've been battling depression and anxiety for years and this instances send a red flag to me. I want to talk to her about them and make sure she ok and that she knows I'm there for her if ever/whenever she needs. Advice please

 
jespah
 
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Reply Sat 6 Jul, 2019 05:28 am
@Padraighk,
There's nothing wrong with being friendly and certainly concerned about a person's wellbeing. But you are not a professional (neither am I). Your experiences might not fit what's going on in her life.

Of course you can go hiking with her all you like. But I get the feeling you are attracted to her. Don't hide it behind a veil of concern. I'm not saying that you can't be concerned. But there are far too many people out there who offer sympathy and a shoulder to cry on because they are pushing for a relationship.

If this is your agenda, even a little bit, then what happened to your wife and family?
PUNKEY
 
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Reply Sat 6 Jul, 2019 08:08 am
“I see so much of me in her”

Yes. You are mirroring her emotions. You see her as vulnerable, unsure and unhappy.

Are you all these things, too?
Padraighk
 
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Reply Sat 6 Jul, 2019 10:37 am
@PUNKEY,
I have been that way for years. Just didn't think she seemed to be that kinda of person. I know what it's like. I don't want another going through that. It's not a nice feeling. No one picked up on these things in me. Hate for someone else to turn out way I feel. I'm trying to get better, it's a long process. Good and bad days
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Padraighk
 
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Reply Sat 6 Jul, 2019 10:42 am
@jespah,
Suffered with depression more on than off for last 30 years. It's hard seeing someone going through same as you have especially when you are the only one who notices these red flags.
Not sayings I wanna go hiking etc with her. Just to let he know it's ok being this way and not to listen to what others say you should get or do. That's all
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