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My son is deeply depressed and I don't know what to do for him, can anyone help or give me any advic

 
 
Reply Wed 21 Aug, 2013 06:00 pm
I have been having a lot of communication with my son, he was suppose to of gone back to school & it is as though he has given up on his dreams. He is so lonely & depressed, I don't know how I can help him. Can anyone relate & if you can, please give me some feedback.
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Type: Question • Score: 2 • Views: 3,664 • Replies: 9
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jespah
 
  1  
Reply Wed 21 Aug, 2013 06:30 pm
@maemandy,
Without a lot of context, there's not much we can say. But depression is an illness; it's likely that he should be evaluated by a physician.
neologist
 
  1  
Reply Wed 21 Aug, 2013 07:49 pm
@jespah,
Right. Many depressed people isolate themselves. That only makes things worse. Best to have him evaluated by a professional.
trying2learn
 
  1  
Reply Thu 22 Aug, 2013 02:05 am
@maemandy,
Yes I can relate. I was extremely depressed to the point that I would not talk to anyone, wouldn't eat, laid on the couch from morning to night just looking up. I only got up to use the bathroom and feed my dog.

No one could help me because I just tuned them out. It didn't matter what anyone said. I had to find it in myself to realize I needed help. That was really hard for me to deal with because I didn't understand why I felt so sad. Nothing bad had happened so there was no reason for me to feel the way I did.

I don't know why your son feels the way he does. All I can suggest is don't give up on him.

Good luck and I hope everything turns out okay.
maemandy
 
  1  
Reply Thu 22 Aug, 2013 07:24 pm
@jespah,
I appreciate your response. His depression has gotten so bad & he is moody most of the time, you never no what to expect one minute to the next. he stays in the house most of the time, he mainly only goes out to go to work or to the store. He is also a binge eater. Most of his money goes on food. He was suppose to of started graduate school & all three times he has made a excuse why he couldn't go. He has been saying he will take the test, but he hasn't yet. The next test date is in December & he keeps saying how long he has but he isn't studying at all, what I know of. He has know friends & the two friends he thought he had just quit calling him. He is so bitter & it breaks my heart to see him like this. He has always been such a happy & jolly person & here the last year or so it is as though he has given up on life. He keeps saying he doesn't know what his purpose is to be here. I just want to help him, but I don't know how. I feel so helpless not being able to help him. He has always been there for me. It is my turn to be there for him. But how do I help him. I just wish I knew. We can't even talk without arguing. I miss the talks we used to have about politics & the news . I feel like I have lost my son. I don't know what to do to help him. Does anyone have any sugguestions. GOD BLESS!
JPB
 
  1  
Reply Thu 22 Aug, 2013 07:28 pm
@maemandy,
My sympathies to you and your son during this difficult time. It's not easy for either of you. I'm confused a bit by one of the statements in your response to Jespah. You said that 'He has always been there for me. It is my turn to be there for him.' Can you expand on that a bit?
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maemandy
 
  1  
Reply Thu 22 Aug, 2013 07:30 pm
@neologist,
I agree with you that isolating himself, he is only making the problem that much worse. But I just don't know how to deal with him. He was suppose to of started graduate school & he still hasn't gone. He talks about it but that is about it. He has know friends, he hates his job, he just is unhappy all away around. We arguing almost on a daily basis. He is begging for help. You can't force him to go to a dr. I have tried to get him to go to some groups but he refuses to go. He says that he has tried that & it didn't help him @ all. If anyone has any sugguestions I sure would like to hear them. Because I am besides myself with worry.
0 Replies
 
maemandy
 
  1  
Reply Thu 22 Aug, 2013 07:36 pm
@trying2learn,
I'm glad to hear that you do understand. I believe if he had some friends that it would make such a difference in his life. He has gained weight, he doesn't care about his appearance, he binge eats, he only goes out of the house to work & go to the store & sometimes to go to SAC to talk to a former professor, but that is seldom. It breaks my heart to have to sit back & watch him throw his whole life away. He used to be a leader in school clubs, debate teams & even did a tribute to the 911 victims. He is just wasting away. If you have any suggustions how I can help him, I am open to all suggustions.
jespah
 
  1  
Reply Fri 23 Aug, 2013 06:27 am
@maemandy,
I am thinking you need to put your foot down and get him evaluated by a physician. I am assuming her is over 18 so you can't just drag him to one, but you can make it a condition of him continuing to live in your home.

This isn't cruelty; this is you getting him treatment.

But try talking to him about seeing a doctor first. See if he will go voluntarily. Drive him, pay the copay, select the doctor from a phone book if you have to - do whatever you can in order to enable this to happen and to undercut any excuses he may come up with. But get him there.
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trying2learn
 
  2  
Reply Fri 23 Aug, 2013 11:50 am
@maemandy,
jespah wrote:
But try talking to him about seeing a doctor first. See if he will go voluntarily. Drive him, pay the copay, select the doctor from a phone book if you have to - do whatever you can in order to enable this to happen and to undercut any excuses he may come up with. But get him there.


This approach is what worked for me to go see a dr. My husband said he would make the appt., drive me there and even sit in on the appt. with me. He asked me to at least try and I did. I really doubt I would have done any of this on my own.
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