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Please help me with my depression

 
 
john545
 
Mon 16 Nov, 2015 05:29 pm
Hi
Im new to this forum and im desperately reaching out for help.
I'm suffering with depression, anxiety, and a feeling of hopelessness.
I feel as though I will never be in a relationship. I cant see myself ever getting a girlfriend because im just too anxious, and have no confidence.
I think im going to live my life alone and this is making me suicidal. I see no point continuing with life the way it is.
Part of the problem is that I have literally no friends and I don't know how to go about meeting new people. I sit at home everyday playing video games, or watching TV, and I have no idea what to do to break this cycle.
Im 19, and no longer in education so I cant meet people through school.
I appreciate any advice you may have for me.
Thanks
 
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Mon 16 Nov, 2015 06:12 pm
I sit at home everyday playing video games, or watching TV, . . . and no longer in education so I cant meet people through school.

No wonder you are depressed. Until you break these habits that foster depression and make a commitment to get an education in a setting that includes real, live people, you are going to feel like you do.
neologist
 
  4  
Mon 16 Nov, 2015 06:23 pm
@john545,
Isolation is the worst idea. Find something that interests someone else besides yourself. Do you have a job?
Are you interested in bowling? Beadwork? Nearly every activity has clubs. You don't have to be the life of the party to enjoy the party, but you have to attend.
0 Replies
 
john545
 
  1  
Mon 16 Nov, 2015 06:30 pm
@PUNKEY,
im not in education because i finished college with very good a levels, but im not going to uni. I need a way to meet people outside of education
neologist
 
  1  
Mon 16 Nov, 2015 06:49 pm
@john545,
You finished college at age 19 with A average? Why not apply for a Masters scholarship? You could work as a TA.
maxdancona
 
  2  
Mon 16 Nov, 2015 06:52 pm
@john545,
First, I would recommend therapy. A therapist can help you understand why you are in this pattern and how to break out of it. A therapist can also act as motivation. If you decide to take a step, knowing that the therapist is going to ask you how it went can help you take that step.

Second, there are lots of ways to meet people. I really like the meetup.com groups. These are groups of people who have shared interests... in my area several of them are very good. There is also church/mosque/synagogue (if you are so inclined) and charity groups. And you can also take community classes in most places.

Third... work on meeting people as friends and building a social group first, then it will be easier to get a girlfriend. It is a lot easier to start and build a good romantic relationship once you have a social group.

Fourth. I have found personally that physical exercise is a very good (and healthy) anti-depressant. This is also backed by science. Find some physical activity that you can enjoy... maybe running, yoga, working out all of these are good. For me it is my bicycle. Exercising enough to get your heart rate going fast for 30 or 40 minutes is really good.

You might be able to find a form of exercise that can also work as a social activity. Running and biking are both very good to do with other people... and often in cities there are organized groups that make it easy to meet up with people.

0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Mon 16 Nov, 2015 06:58 pm
@neologist,
I think he is from Britain or similar. Their school system differs somewhat from ours in the U.S.
neologist
 
  1  
Mon 16 Nov, 2015 07:07 pm
@ossobuco,
Doh!
0 Replies
 
Glennn
 
  2  
Mon 16 Nov, 2015 08:12 pm
@john545,
Forget the video games. Exercise, yes, but let your first exercise be to clean your living area. You will see and feel a difference when everything around you is clean and in order. That's a good first step.
CeasarSalad
 
  0  
Mon 16 Nov, 2015 08:26 pm
@john545,
I saw your plea for help which was initially alarming. I am a parent and my son is 26; he went through a similar phase but I pushed him to get out there and be productive. You want a girlfriend but you need a reality check and a work ethic. No one should be taking care of you, feeding you, keeping you warm, keeping the video games running and the cushy sofa under your butt. Here are 12 things you could be doing to move forward in life (Google them all): military, college, vocational school, police academy, fire academy, seminary, Job Corp, Peace Corp, Ameria Corp, volunteer to help others, start a business, or just get a regular job like the rest of America. I made my son choose from this very same list and now he lives on his own, has a decent job, goes to school part-time and he has a great girlfriend. He didn’t like it when I harassed him daily about sitting around but I knew what his potential was and he has made me proud. Make yourself and your family proud. Quit today with the sitting around having a pity party and go out and live life the best you can. We all face challenges everyday-remember what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger-don’t be afraid to be awkward-we all feel that way sometimes-even me and I’m a doctor. My son is as vanilla as they come-some would even say nerdy but that’s okay because not everyone is Brad Pitt. I also recommend some spiritual growth-try watching Joel Osteen, Charles Stanley and T.D. Jakes-you will learn a whole different perspective that you may or may not agree with but it’s definitely knowledge and wisdom that will help you in life.
roger
 
  1  
Mon 16 Nov, 2015 08:30 pm
@Glennn,
That just might be helpful.
0 Replies
 
izzythepush
 
  3  
Tue 17 Nov, 2015 03:58 am
@john545,
You need to do something. You didn't take your A levels just to mope around at home. If you're not going to Uni get a job. Don't expect a dream job straight away, you need some purpose so just take what's on offer even if it's only stacking shelves at Asda.
0 Replies
 
izzythepush
 
  1  
Tue 17 Nov, 2015 03:59 am
@ossobuco,
The fact he's just done his A levels gives that away.
jespah
 
  2  
Tue 17 Nov, 2015 07:05 am
@CeasarSalad,
He's not American.
0 Replies
 
john545
 
  1  
Tue 17 Nov, 2015 07:40 am
@john545,
Sorry, I should have made it clear.
Yes im British.
I actually have a job at a supermarket, which is going no where, and just makes me more miserable. Then on my days off im at home doing nothing. I don't know what I can do in my free time to meet new people and improve my situation.
izzythepush
 
  1  
Tue 17 Nov, 2015 09:54 am
@john545,
Think about what you want to do, what sort of job, and think about how you can get there. They might be able to help out at the CAB or Connexions. If you're still living at home you might want to save up to do some travelling.

You're only 19, your hormones are still a bit mental, and things can seem overpowering. It won't always be like that. Jimmy Carr didn't lose his virginity until he was 26 and look at him now.
0 Replies
 
neologist
 
  1  
Tue 17 Nov, 2015 02:36 pm
@izzythepush,
Please try to remember:
We yanks are not as smart as we may look.
Er. . .
What did I just say?

I stand by my observation about jumper's remorse, though.
The solution always seems to follow the act of throwing in the towel.

Oh #fgh! Why did I do that?
Johnjohnjohn
 
  0  
Tue 17 Nov, 2015 04:30 pm
@john545,
God helps. Try Him cause He can kinda do anything.
0 Replies
 
izzythepush
 
  1  
Tue 17 Nov, 2015 06:44 pm
@neologist,
You mean you've never heard of Jimmy Carr?
0 Replies
 
CeasarSalad
 
  1  
Tue 17 Nov, 2015 08:47 pm
@john545,
Great you have a job which means you have a purpose-potential-opportunity-initiative. Just wondering what others around you are doing for fun and entertainment? As I think back on my sons situation he was also a homebody and mainly still is. Family is a good way to spend your spare time. Perhaps your Grandparents need a little help; you might want to hang out with some cousins your age. Have you considered getting a pet which actually has the potential to attract girls. It's also important to note that many people live quiet lives just working and not much more. In a sense what you are experiencing might be boring buts its somewhat normal. When I want to escape my boredom, I dive into reading spiritually uplifting books-I recommend that you read something that will ultimately make you wiser so choose well and choose positive. Also if you are British and the princes are in the military, perhaps you should consider that as well. You will definitely become a part of a brotherhood that will respect and value you like no other. No matter what try anything and everything legal and never give up.
 

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