Are some things unforgivable even if you were a kid?

Reply Thu 20 Jun, 2019 04:35 pm
My former friend and I spent 6 years locked up in a juvenile detention center. Our ages at the time were respectively 10 (me) and 11. We did bad things. However, this is the one time I acted alone. I was upset with my neighbor and hurt him in the worst manner.

My former neighbor won't forgive me for poisoning his 2 dogs; a German Shepherd and a Collie. During my teens years at the center, I've written an apology letter to him but it was declined. He still thinks I'm the evil brat from back then and didn't believe a single word. I know nothing I say will ever make it up to him but I'm really sorry for what I did back then. He doesn't want to run into me ever again; that's how bad he hates me.
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Type: Question • Score: 2 • Views: 619 • Replies: 8
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Reply Thu 20 Jun, 2019 04:54 pm
Cruelty to animals is an indicator for future behavior. Six years is a long time. It sounds like you feel you have been rehabilitated. You have paid your dues.

There’s no need to contact any of these people today. You have made an apology and it was rejected. So - Let it go.

Get on with your life and live it as a better person.
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cicerone imposter
Reply Thu 20 Jun, 2019 07:39 pm
Well, isn't it about the future that matters? Why not do things that are kind in the future? Do it with no expectation of reward or acknowledgement. You can't do anything about the past; that's gone, but you have control over your future. Best of luck to you. BTW, everybody makes mistakes; it's a matter of degree.
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Reply Thu 20 Jun, 2019 08:41 pm
There is nothing that is unforgivable.

You get to decide whether you are willing to forgive or not. If someone has done something wrong to you, it is your your choice. If you decide that you will never forgive someone, then there is nothing they can do to change your mind. They have to move on.

Of course, you can choose to forgive anything. It really is up to you.

The most important thing is that you can forgive yourself.
cicerone imposter
Reply Thu 20 Jun, 2019 09:42 pm
Very true. I'm sure most of us heard of the parents who forgave a person for killing their child. I believe that's the ultimate in forgiveness.
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Reply Fri 21 Jun, 2019 08:44 am
I am glad that you did your time and learned from what you did. I am also "proud" (in quotes because I don't know you but being a mom a I have a special place in my heart for younger people) that you sent a note apologizing - that couldn't be easy and sounds like it was heartfelt.

As far as accepting your apology and forgiving you - for some people it can be very difficult. That part is not your fault. To me you did what you could at this point for the people you hurt. Providing a heartfelt apology is what you can do. Also, to me the forgiveness side really impacts the victim more than the one the caused the grief. Yes, it would be nice to mend fences and be forgiven by them - but in the end if they cannot forgive it hurts them.

The best you can do is to do no more harm. And to give back any way you can. Instead help out at a shelter, take in a rescue dog, give donations in the form of dog food, money or time. You could also give a donation in your former neighbor's name if that would help. You don't even have to have your name on it at all so the neighbor doesn't know. Those sorts of things may help you.

Yeah you might have been a kid who acted very badly, but be a great adult that gives back. And let it go what you did before - you spent a good amount locked up you paid back to society and learned from your errors. Best of luck to you and good thoughts for your future.

cicerone imposter
Reply Fri 21 Jun, 2019 09:36 am
I totally agree. Forgiving and letting go is the best, because it releases future anguish for yourself. Why keep suffering?
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Reply Fri 21 Jun, 2019 09:44 am
Thank you for the replies. I can't change the past that's for sure. I wasn't thinking at the time and had too much anger back then.

Punkey, I understand 6 years might have been a long time but at the time they felt it was right for me. At the time, I used to boast about liking to hurt smaller children and kill animals for fun, how I would do it again, etc. They felt I was the meaner girl and that my friend was a follower. She cried at the time when we both got charged but I didn't. I was out of control at the time. I wish I can take it all back but can't.

I appreciate the ideas of participating on an animal shelter. I look forward to becoming a mother one day. I'm now totally disgusted at everything I did back then.
Reply Fri 21 Jun, 2019 10:53 am
Everything happens for a reason and this incident was to transform your life. You learned from your mistake and it appears that you are a different person now. All the best for your bright future.
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