Is there a chance of getting back together?

Reply Fri 7 Jun, 2019 08:59 am
Me and my now ex-girlfriend were together for 7 1/2 yrs. We lived together for 7 yrs. I did ask her to marry me this past Christmas, and she said yes. But, we always said in the past, we were married and didn't need to "have a wedding". She always, even before we got together, went to her parents and grandmothers house for the weekend every other week, Friday afternoon through Sunday afternoon. They live 50 miles from where we lived. We worked together almost side by side. She broke up with me in March, stayed in same house with me until she found a house and her work transfer went through, before she left for good, April 12th. We haven't seen each other not once since she left. But we have text on a daily basis. It seems now I am the one who begins the texts though. There was a time right after she started her new job, which was 3 weeks after she moved completely out, that she would send me texts talking about how the new job place was, same job just different establishment. I was never abusive, unfaithful, or violent. I did on occasion show jealousy, but it wasn't in not trusting her, it was in trusting others. She was somewhat gullible and insecure like me I guess, I was kind of worried that someone would convince her to "give it a try". Things seemed to stop being "smooth" in the relationship, everything I did or said, she would take as having a secret motive or the likeness. All the worry about the relationship changing in that sense, caused me to be on edge and stressful for a while. I would start asking her what was wrong, what the problem was, and if she still wanted to be with me. I was trying to be strong and acted like I didn't care what happened. She stayed out of work 1 day, while I was at work, she put in for a transfer (to city her parents live in) and a leave of absence. I continued to work, while she was here waiting for a house and transfer to go through. We continued watching our shows together at night. We continued to eat dinner together. We even had sex a few times during this time. Then on April 12th she was gone. When she left I had a very good sense that we could get back together, that there might not be anyone else. But, there is the possibility that she met someone after she left. Now back to the time she started texting me after work, she would tell me how different things were run there, she would tell me what movie she was watching. She would apologize for not replying sooner on a text (not because I would ask, I was just happy to get a reply). That led me to a thought in my head that I can't get out; I feel she left me for someone else, but that person turned out to not be the person she wanted. Then I was there for her to talk to (text) but never any talk of getting back together. Although, I would have brought it up but was afraid of the reply so I avoided it. Then it changed, no opening texts from her, she would always reply to the last text I would send however. That makes me think a couple things; She used my texts to make the other guy jealous (if there was one) or I kept her pacified until she got over it. But, the reason she gave for leaving is because of my questions and not understanding that I had reason to feel this way about our relationship heading in the wrong direction. We still text but, most of the time, it could be hours later, as if she can only text when she is alone. Makes me think that she is seeing someone and can only text right before she goes to bed. Also, I wander if she is only texting back, is because she wants me to think everything is fine, so "I don't come and find out the truth for myself". She was a religious person, was offended by certain things. Always said to certain things she read or saw on TV, "I would never do something like that". But, I feel she may have changed with her leaving, couldn't say for sure. When she was preparing her leaving, she said several times when I mentioned it, that, no she didn't want another man or have a boyfriend, and would never want to be in a relationship again, cause she wasn't good at it. I would transfer to where she is or a place of same, 2 more within 10 miles, if we got back together. Even though, the best option would be for her to transfer back here. I have to mention, I only asked if she was leaving me for another man, or if she had a boyfriend. I did not ask if she was leaving me for a woman or if she had a girlfriend. I apologize for the length of this post, but wanted to cover as much as possible. I have never posted anything before about relationships.
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Reply Fri 7 Jun, 2019 01:07 pm
She broke up with you. She moved away. She has given no real indication that she wants to renew a relationship with you.

Nothing else in your post matters. It does not matter if she has a new guy or did have a new guy. It does not matter if she wants to make someone jealous. You two are not together. You are not a couple. The sooner you accept this, the better off you will be.

So, to answer the question you posed as the title, I think there is very little chance of you two getting back together. So you have two choices. You can sit around texting her and waiting and hoping that she comes running back to you or you can stop obsessing over why she left and what she is now doing and go out and live your life. The first will leave you perpetually miserable while the second gives you a chance to find happiness. Take a guess at which one I would recommend.

Reply Fri 7 Jun, 2019 05:39 pm
CoastalRat, you seem to reply with the notion that everyone that asks this question is a weak loser. So thanks for the reply but nothing you said was relevant to the post.
Reply Fri 7 Jun, 2019 07:14 pm
No he didn't Brogan.

He answered your question thoughtfully, directly, truthfully and in full.

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