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What is considered Flirting? How does it "work"?

 
 
Tom1231
 
Reply Mon 6 May, 2019 06:44 am
So I have been a little inactive in terms of girls about the past few years. I kinda missed to learn/gain experience with flirting.

So what exactly is flirting? When is something considered flirting? How do girls react to flirting (shy and confident)?

I have to examples. One girl I have talked to was pretty confident about flirting. She was texting me stuff like "I hope you'll like what you'll see;)" this is Clearly flirting isn't it? But not every girl is as confident as she is.

I am also talking to another, rather shy girl who would occasionally make comments like "Uhh I sunburned My ass" or while she was laying at the beach "I might not be wearing anything right now just FYI". Is that flirting? How do I react? What do I say? I once said "pictures or it didn't happen" as a joke and she just started another Topic. Did I f*** up?

I am 19/20 BTW.

Thanks for your help guys!

PS: I hope I didn't double post this since I posted in the wrong forum first. Sorry.
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tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 May, 2019 08:58 am
@Tom1231,
Flirting is like comedy and taste in music. You really can't give it ... a textbook definition on what it is for each person and how other people (or more importantly how other individuals will react).

Quote:
I am also talking to another, rather shy girl who would occasionally make comments like "Uhh I sunburned My ass" or while she was laying at the beach "I might not be wearing anything right now just FYI". Is that flirting? How do I react? What do I say? I once said "pictures or it didn't happen" as a joke and she just started another Topic. Did I f*** up?

Given very little context other than this person is shy? You kind of fracked up here. We can't tell if she's prudish or sensitive or simply doesn't like you in that way.

The only advice is too not be too creepy but don't fake flirting either. Other people can see right through disingenuous flirting (flirting for attention grabbing sake as opposed to flirting because you have genuine affection or attraction towards the other).

You shouldn't ask others what flirting is. You kind of need to learn what your own style is. Everything in the pursuit of romance is trial and error. It's trying to find a balance between what makes you confident and comfortable while not creeping the ever loving crap out of the other person.
Tom1231
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 May, 2019 10:40 am
@tsarstepan,
Thanks for you answer! What about the answer one? I don't really know how to handle such stuff.
Talking about the shy girl, I didn't know what to say. However, I also didn't expect her to send me a picture. I don't know what I expected with that answer at all. We both tease ieach other a lot but how do I know if it is friendly or flirty?
tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 May, 2019 11:22 am
@Tom1231,
Tom1231 wrote:

Thanks for you answer! What about the answer one? I don't really know how to handle such stuff.
Talking about the shy girl, I didn't know what to say.

Who knows? She might find you (and what you said) endearing. Only she knows what she thinks. And it's up to you to talk to her a bit more. Learn how she feels about you.
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mark noble
 
  0  
Reply Mon 6 May, 2019 11:25 am
@Tom1231,
Flirting is an attempt to induce or persuade another party into assuming you are worthy of your pretentious efforts.
Most pathetic - When observed.
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PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 May, 2019 02:48 pm
@Tom1231,
You can always ask “Are you flirting with me?” To these comments you are getting.

Girls today are very forward and can be provocative. Some can be downright bold and aggressive. Some guys like that. It sounds like it just confuses you.

If that makes you uncomfortable, then ignore these comments. Find a nice girl who is not so bold and who has your same shy demeanor. And don’t develop s relationship by texting.
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Tom1231
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 May, 2019 03:10 pm
Thank you for your answers.

Referring to the shy girl:
I never know if she is flirting or not. The one time sh brings up comments like these. The other time she would ignore attempts of mine at Flirting (or what I consider flirting).

I will try to follow your tips and see how it goes!
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