Why is "You're gay!" such an insult?

Why is this the number one insult to say to a guy?

I started a thread yesterday wherein I explained that I was sad that my buddy who had worked beside me for the past five years had just left after finishing his last day there...which, of course, turned into a bunch of guys on the site ridiculing me and calling me gay. I, of course, responded by calling all of them gay.

I am pretty sure none of us were really offended by it, either. We were just having fun being dicks to each other, that's all.

Then dlowan said this...



This is an interesting question.

Others pointed out that it has just become a generic insult, and it has nothing to do with how homophobic society is, and I think that makes some sense. But that doesn't really answer the question that dlowan asked, now does it? Why? Why is it the number one insult that guys use on each other?

I guess my answer would have to be, "because it works." It's emasculating, and if you can get all your buddies to gang up on one person relentlessly, even if he's just finished banging the hottest girl on the planet, if you're real lucky, you might just get him to cry.

And why does it work? Because no straight guy wants other people thinking that he is weak, or feminine, or otherwise girlie...at all. And the word "gay" personifies all those things, in the mind of the straight man.

Am I right?

DISCLAIMER: If you are gay, or bisexual, or otherwise sensitive to this issue, and are offended, I apologize. I understand that it is insulting to gay people, and I do sympathize with you. I'm just trying to be honest, in hopes of finding the answer to dlowan's question.