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Parental Rant Thread

 
 
sozobe
 
Reply Mon 2 May, 2005 04:44 pm
Sozlet didn't get enough sleep last night and is a bit freaked out about preschool ending soon and there's a cold front coming through -- or something -- she's tripping on another planet.

She had to pee, and wanted to me to go with her. Fine. Not my preference, but fine, because I could tell she was primed to have a fit if I forced the issue and it doesn't matter much. Then she had a little fit because she couldn't lift up her dress and pull down her tights. (She COULD, but was like swiping at it ineffectually while half-hopping and whimpering.) WhatEVER. Helped her. A whole series of whines, accusations, sentences that were abandoned and then when I started to say something else I'd be interrupted with "MAMA!! I was SAYING something!!!!!" and general unpleasantness ensued.

Finished. More ineffectual swiping and half-hopping as she peevishly asked me to pull up her tights. I did, and said in a very calm, soothing voice, "Happy to help. Noooo problem." I smiled at her and kissed her on the cheek. She visibly relaxed. The portion of my brain that was yelling "WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM, MISS THING?!!!" also said, "maybe it'll help if I know I can rant somewhere -- and maybe other parents would like to, too."

So here we are.

It's not about asking for advice (though of course you may if you'd like), just commisseration and an outlet to keep in mind when your kid is driving you INSANE...
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 1,462 • Replies: 18
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FreeDuck
 
  1  
Reply Mon 2 May, 2005 05:16 pm
Oooh. I am bookmarking for later. I wish I had that kind of patience.
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DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Tue 3 May, 2005 08:30 am
Yeah. Kids have no patience, so parents have to have enough for two.

When does the patience thing kick in with kids, anyway?
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Noddy24
 
  1  
Reply Tue 3 May, 2005 09:37 am
I'll be back, but my first quick thought is there are days when mothers are entitled to congratulate themselves for not descending to physical abuse.

Thinking about physical abuse doesn't count against you.
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zacksmom
 
  1  
Reply Tue 3 May, 2005 10:59 am
Definitely keeping this one for later!
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DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Tue 3 May, 2005 12:19 pm
I will also state that I think it's OK to show and voice some frustration and exasperation. Kids need social feedback just like adults do.
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sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Tue 3 May, 2005 12:21 pm
Fer sure. I was thinking that too when I re-read, "Geesh, makes it sound like I put up with anything." I don't. She was just in a specific mood that needs a lot of calm, steady affection to get her out of. Then she's fine.
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FreeDuck
 
  1  
Reply Tue 3 May, 2005 12:32 pm
Yeah, sounds like she was in meltdown mode and that's when patience is most needed. Feedback, at times like that, probably can't be processed.

I confess that too often I find myself yelling at my kids when I have just run out of ideas. My daughter and her bedtime needs, is one example. She just doesn't go to sleep easily and sometimes, when it's past my own bedtime and she's still getting out of bed, I'm at my wits end. Right now, yelling works because it lets her know that I've reached my limit (and so has she), but there has to be a better way. I'm still looking for it -- I know it's out there.
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DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Tue 3 May, 2005 12:39 pm
How old?


This proposed solution may or may not be appropriate, judge for yourself: put in a digital clock and tape over the minutes. Then say, "OK. It's bedtime. You need to stay in your room, except for emergencies and potty, until this number reads seven." Or six, or eight, or whatever.
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FreeDuck
 
  1  
Reply Tue 3 May, 2005 12:45 pm
The one with the sleep troubles is 3. I'm not sure she'd recognize the numbers on the clock. I do know that the key to the problem is inconsistency of routine. The times when this is the worst are when the routine has not been followed for a few days. I was on travel about a week ago and they were going to bed just whenever for that whole week. Since I've been back, we've had trouble re-establishing the routine for her. She just has a harder time winding down than my son -- who is 5 and has always been easy to get to sleep.
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DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Tue 3 May, 2005 12:48 pm
Yeah. The family from which I learned that little tidbit had a four-year-old boy.
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sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Tue 3 May, 2005 12:50 pm
I see a little rant between the lines there about how the routine wasn't followed when you were gone... ;-)
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FreeDuck
 
  1  
Reply Tue 3 May, 2005 12:53 pm
:wink: You caught me.
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Eva
 
  1  
Reply Tue 3 May, 2005 02:06 pm
Well, my son is now 11, so we're right at the borderline of when he's going to start needing patience to put up with US.

<snickering>
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Devious Britches
 
  1  
Reply Tue 10 May, 2005 02:44 pm
My lil girl is 7 and I was having the go to bed issue and the tantrum issue. This may work for a yonger child. It took a lil but she has caught on and it seems to be working. For the bed issue I told her that if she goes to bed when told then i will read a book of her choosing to her. If there are any complaints no book. The tantrum issue, still kind of working on but one thing that I have started and it seems to of cut them down alot is some thing I call Sound off. She has two lists a good and a bad. near the end of the day I will go over the things she did Great and cheer and woot with her. I also go over some of the things she needs to work on. I don't make such a fuss about these and we both go boooo on those. I try to start off with the bad list and make sure there is a much longer good list. (not an easy task with her some times lol) But every thing on the good list gets a cheer and a woot she loves this especialy when some thing on a previous bad list is now found on a good list. I think the cheering is what is working for her. Sounds silly but if it gets her to behave i will stand on my head lol. She also loves mommy time. and this may sound lame ok but before she goes to bed I sing to her. I got it from a book but it goes I love you forever I like you for always as long as I'm living my baby you'll be, and she'll say it back to me xcept she says as long as i'm living my mommy you'll be. She's an adopted child so I think that means a lot to her cause we don't go a day with out saying that to each other. She loves it when daddy can join in. Anyhow that is my 2 cents.
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Noddy24
 
  1  
Reply Tue 10 May, 2005 03:57 pm
Devious_Britches--

I'd guess that your success is 30% list and 70% good humored patience. In any case, congratulations.
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sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Wed 30 Aug, 2006 01:22 pm
Hi.

I've always wanted to use the "Sozlet Stories" thread to document stuff about raising kiddo, because it goes so fast.

What I find has happened though is that I'm thinking about the audience when I write, and I always am thinking of the cute/ funny/ uplifting stuff to put there, at the expense of plain ol' everyday life.

So I'm reviving this for rants/ vents because there ARE plenty of those and I want to get them down, too.

Note, they're not requests for advice (though commisseration and similar stories -- or dissimilar stories that are nonetheless jogged loose are welcome).

To start off:

Sozlet has a stuffy nose. (Not sure if it's allergies or a virus -- ENT says to treat it the same either way.) At any rate, it's been deemed non-infectious at this point, and that she's fine to go to school. Usually she has to blow her nose once or twice while she's there -- she does this herself, and washes her hands afterwards. Pediatrician and ENT both say this is fine, she doesn't need to stay home. Teacher knows about it.

Yesterday she came out of kindergarten, one of the first kids, into a big group of parents (and me) waiting for their kids. She said to me, "I need to blow my nose." I made general "sure just a minute" noises and steered her towards the car. She didn't budge, and said more loudly and emphatically "I NEED TO BLOW MY NOSE!" I again started to try to steer her but she started hopping up and down. I grabbed a kleenex, gave it to her, and hoooooooooooonk. Giant gobs of snot, right in the middle of the parents of her classmates.

Oy.
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hamburger
 
  1  
Reply Wed 30 Aug, 2006 05:29 pm
soz :
certainly often had a snotty nose as a kid and always found great relief in blowing my nose LOUD AND VIGOURISLY - no matter where !
so i am on the sozlet's side !
you can tell her : "hamburger says it's ok " Very Happy Shocked
even though i'm 'a little' older now , still like to blow my nose - perhaps just a little more discretly .
i certainly think it's better to get 'the guck' out rather than playing yo-yo - as we used to call it Laughing .
i'm sure the sozlet will grow up to be a fine young lady despite ... :wink:
hbg
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Mame
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Sep, 2006 10:15 am
DrewDad wrote:
Yeah. Kids have no patience, so parents have to have enough for two.

When does the patience thing kick in with kids, anyway?


When they have their own!
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