Confused about my sexual orientation

Can you explain the “feminine role” you are so tired of trying to fulfill?

Yeah, I'll try. Usually, it includes being demure, trying not to do things really well, trying not to look too smart, making sure not to challenge "male authority," making sure I wear the right type of cloths and hair style, not having control in the sexual arena, making sure I don't have fun (friendly) with other males or females, not being to muscular. I know there is more but, I hope this brings across the idea of what I meant by "feminine role."

Everything you have listed are stereotypes of the traditional female role - outdated, confining, and limiting.

You need some new “tapes” to play in your head on what the modern woman is.

Go to the nearest university and take some physical education classes or join in on some intermural sports.

Your head space needs an “update”!

Have fun re- defining yourself.

Thanks for your suggestions. Unfortunately, I am, I believe, what most would consider a "modern women" some might use the term "feminist." I just completed my MA in Visual Anthropology (documentarian) and am also physically fit. I hike, rock climb, weight train, bike along with a few other activities at lest five times a week.
I divorced my x-husband because I felt he was no longer right for me and have been single since (about 13 years). Up until just recently I believed that it was because I was afraid to reenter a relationship but in the last four weeks or so, I started feeling like it might be that I'm tired of not being myself. The only men I meet and feel like I can be myself with are gay.