I can do all the hunting, shooting and partying in my "outback" backyard of 10 million acres with no rates and taxes. Don't you think I'll be better off staying "beyond the black stump?"
Dutchy, it is wonderful to see you. However, I don't want you cocking this deal up with Try, the Yanks love nothing more than spending money on titles and art from Jolly Old England, bull him up that my ideas are marvellous and at £75,000..00 plus VAT is an exceptional deal, and I'll cut you in for 5% of the gross take. OK?
I shall obey by your wishes Mathos, try you're looking at an exceptional offer, let me know when the deal is concluded. OK?
I was rather hoping you would be collecting the bag of readies at Heathrow when Try flies in to collect his title, you understand I have to keep my self out of being seen to be directly involved in this transaction?
I can see that, I felt the same when I bought London Bridge thinking it was Tower Bridge, I don't want to make the same mistake again. You can understand that can't you?
Totally, but you must have been dealing with a shonky individual previously, who sold you the wrong bridge under false pretences. You are now dealing with Mathos, a man noted for his fair and scrupulous business dealings. You don't think he is trying to sell you a dud and ruin his hard earned reputation do you?
I take your point, but would he take a cheque
Would you, if you knew yourself?
I trust him completely, can you use City Bank try?
Having gone to a great deal of trouble and out of pocket expenses in securing the title Sir Loin for Try, I was hoping to be treated with fair consideration of my business acumen in this transaction.
The much respected title is steeped in historical value from it's origin at Houghton Castle sometimes referred to as Houghton Towers and situated a mere stones throw from my humble home.
The Baron de Houghton being visited by King James and his entourage of thousands prepared a banquet of illustrious content. On sampling the cut of beef King James remarked on it's tenderness, flavour and palatable suitability to his liking. Hence the title Sir Loin was duly conferred.
At the afore-mentioned price, it is indeed a snip.
There are one or two drawbacks however, which are understandable and which any knight of the realm would willingly accept as part of the bestowed honour.
The Baron de Houghton was actually made bankrupt by this visit, and consequently the current Baron is having to construct expensive apartments within the castle walls to be rented out to those with plenty of dosh. The mere mention of Sir Loin sends him into quite an understandable frenzy and I dare say he would as a gentleman be emotionally required to settle the family honour.
For an additional fee of a mere £37,500..00 (Cash) it is possible that I could take care of this matter in Try's favour, so that he is not required to meet the Baron at dawn next Sunday morning the 8th October 2006 on Euxton Villa Football pitch on Runshaw Lane in Euxton for the obligatory duel.
You will realise of course that the people involved in this transaction are also business men of the highest calibre and due to the present back log of work being undertaken by the Metropolitan Police Force with regards to the sale of titles and other such irregularities that a cash transaction is essential to the smooth running of the operation.
This is of course a remarkable opportunity for Try to go down in the annuls of history duly connected to the de Houghton family.
The old family of de Houghton and their country seat at Houghton Towers dominates the area of central Lancashire around Darwen and Preston.
This old family is of Norman descent, tracing back its history to before the invasion of 1066. It is reputed that de Houghton came over on the very ship as William The Conqueror himself, and that the Houghton Coat of Arms is the oldest in Cheshire and the second oldest in all of England.
By the mid 16th century the Houghtons were fervent covert supporters of Catholicism, at a time when the Catholic faith was outlawed. It is also believed that William Shakespeare stayed with the Houghtons for a while in the role of school teacher.
Richard de Houghton was knighted by Elizabeth 1.
When are you turning up with the cash Sir Loin?
(Nice post)
Heck I know:
Houghton Richard
74770 US Hwy 111 Ste 201
Indian Wells, CA 92210-7127
(760) 779-1420
He never let on he done got no castle in Englandshire. He don't live but two hoots and a holler from where I be at. After he has a few beers tonight I will be able to pickup that Lordy for a buck and a half. No offence dude, but I don't trust your OZ agent. Can anybody from a placed that killed Captain Cook and ate the Dodo to extinction really be trusted?
Was he Hawaiian or Mauritian?
I think he was Hiawatha and his mate, Minnehaha. Was that the answer you were looking for?
Is anyone on this thread really looking for an answer?
Why else would we be here?
Tut! tut! tut!......American ethics.
I shall be contacting my legal adviser ;- Attorney at Law Mr John R Clarkson Reno Nevada.
There is also a terrible slur against my Australian agent Mr Dutchy, I will of course be suggesting he seeks compensation for such black-guarding in public.
Captain James Cook was murdered by the natives of Hawaii on the 14th February 1779, whilst collecting fresh water on the islands. Captain Cook being a native from Yorkshire, Whitby if my memory serve me well, could indeed be related to Spendi, in which case the **** really will be hitting the fan!
The Dodo bird is fairing quite well on the island of Jersey located in The English Channel were it nests comfortably without fear of game hunters.
The Dodo is a bonny bird
He flits from bough to bough
He builds his nest in a rhubarb tree
And whistles just like a cow.
It would appear the ancestors of American present day citizens are indeed responsible for the untimely murder of Captain James Cook.
Should we look towards congress for a significant dollar settlement for the murder and subsequent events following this foul deed.
Having had business dealings with American citizens in the past I should not be surprised at this turn around in events and I thank my presence of mind at having the services of the legal profession and those of La Cosa Nostra, to hand.
Between 1978 and 1979 I had dealings with the medical core hierarchy of USS ****** * ********** who presented me with the highly coveted and prized E.O.C.
Executive Order of Consulates.
It reads;-
The Dude
Mathos of Jolly Old England
Is awarded this plaque for exceptional and outstanding service as directed by;-
The Honourable Secretary;- Senator Blutarsky.
Period July 1979 to January 1980
Having completed a deal with Senator Blutarsky and these rascals of ill repute to purchase USS Missouri, which incidentally I had already sold and taken a $5m dollar deposit in cash from one Saddam Hussein.
They reneged on the deal.
This method of poor trading etiquette left me little option but that of finding an alternative boat for Mr Saddam and he was not very happy at all when I soared up The Tigris in a longtailed klong boat purchased cheaply in Bangkok with USS Missouri painted in four inch red letters shadowed by black on the bow.
Well Try, enough of this reminiscing, whilst we are in a trading mood, would you care to purchase Blackpool Tower?
That is a mighty tempting offer fer sure. However, I have the Sears Tower which was the World's Tallest Building Until 1996, Now, what about the Eiffel tower?
What about the Petronas Towers, interested in them Try?
Nice offer Dutchy, but what can OZ offer in the way of height?
Have you seen Sydney's "Centre Point"?
