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My dilemma

 
 
PISA
 
Reply Tue 15 Jun, 2021 11:26 am
Hi i am a male in my 30 i cook quite good, clean, fix around the house when required and i was told i am good in bed.I love a girl to bits and she loves me aswel or atleast that is what she tells me.But at the moment we are constantly fighting because she says i am gelous and possessiv and yes i do admit i am somehow but that is only because she keeps everything she does to her self.I love her and i don't want to give any suggestions what i should do.We don't live together.
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Type: Question • Score: 2 • Views: 212 • Replies: 2
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Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Jun, 2021 06:12 am
@PISA,
PISA wrote:

Hi i am a male in my 30 i cook quite good, clean, fix around the house when required and i was told i am good in bed.I love a girl to bits and she loves me aswel or atleast that is what she tells me.But at the moment we are constantly fighting because she says i am gelous and possessiv and yes i do admit i am somehow but that is only because she keeps everything she does to her self.I love her and i don't want to give any suggestions what i should do.We don't live together.


Well she sort of told you what is bothering her and seems to be the source of your conflict - do you agree that this is the source of the two of you fighting?

If so, do you want to stay with her? If you do - you know the behavior you need to change. Perhaps make a bit of compromise - tell her what causes your jealousy and possessiveness? Is there some behavior she could change that will lessen this? Maybe she could open up a bit more; share a bit more - BUT if she does then you need to back off on the possessiveness - give her space and independence. Also there is no need for jealousy - if she didn't want to be with you should would not be with you.

Basically you two need to sit down and talk about what you both feel you need - non-judgemental on both sides. Then come to a compromise in the middle - do with this kindness, compassion and love or else it could blow up into another fight.

But you will need to compromise and give a little as well as she will.
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Mame
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Jun, 2021 08:25 am
@PISA,
Being jealous and possessive is a sign of insecurity and it is horrible and frustrating for the other person to live with. I think you are the one who needs help because you're going to be like this with whomever you are dating.

You really should see a counsellor about this as it is your problem.
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