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Sun 9 Dec, 2018 05:36 pm
I feel like there’s something wrong with me, but I don’t know what. Or maybe I’m just overthinking it? Maybe y’all can help me…
At first I thought I might have Aspergers, but I have a friend with Aspergers and I can't relate to many of his issues or problems. Plus I'd heard getting tested for that is pretty expensive.
I get overwhelmed easily, but I don’t have social anxiety. I’m 18 and never got my driver’s license because I have the driving skills of a walnut, even with lots of practice. I also got my first job recently and I try my best, but I’m worried they’re going to fire me for poor performance. I’m also horrible at physical coordination, so-so at memorization, and I can’t multitask for ****. It’s terrible to my self esteem that I can barely hold down a minimum wage job.
I am naturally ambidextrous, I have chromesthesia, and I have always had a fear of eyes- but only pairs of eyes on TV (not cartoons) or in posters. But I'm perfect with eye contact in person.
I’m incredibly squeamish. I would always cry in middle school health class because the topics were so overwhelming.
I get excellent grades though; I took an IQ test and got 125, and I was in the 90th percentile on my PSAT (never took the SAT).
I’m a pretty sensitive person emotionally, and I still sleep with my baby blankie…I was always a few years behind than my peers in terms of growing up. I still watched preschool shows until I was 9 and didn’t potty train until I was 4.
I get jealous of all the other teens/young adults around me because driving and working seems so much easier for them. People don’t understand when I say I’m a terrible driver even after practice and driving school, so I just tell people that I don’t have a car. Everything just feels twice as hard for me (except school) and I can’t understand why.
@blackbear,
First of all, I would like to recommend therapy. If you are unhappy with who you are, or some aspect of your life, having a therapist is very helpful in figuring out how to accept yourself and to make changes to address some of the challenges of life.
Part of the secret of life is to learn to accept yourself. I gave up trying to be "normal" a long time ago. I can't answer your questions about what normal is. A professional can give you a diagnosis (a name for you conditions). I am not sure if that matters, what matters is that you can accept yourself and learn to build a fulfilling life.
What you are describing with your job and your peers doesn't sound fun.
These are things that a therapist can help with.
Good luck.
Not all Asperger's people have the exact issues others exhibit. Not saying it's what you have. I am no authority, although I personally have Asperger's. You need to find someone to advise you how to get yourself examined.
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