Sat 27 Oct, 2018 10:32 pm
Ok so this is going to be long but trust me it’s worth reading. I met this guy about 2 years ago, he came up to me and slickly asked for my number in a way I couldn’t say no. So I gave it to him. We texted and all and you know per usual he was flirting. At that point I was SO uninterested, he wasn’t my type or anything and I never saw myself with him. Then I realized the right thing to do was tell him I felt this way. He respectfully accepted it and said it was no problem and that we can be friends. So I was okay with that as he was a Cool guy. But you know we started texting day by day and suddenly it became an everyday thing. Soon after, things got complicated if you know what I mean. After that we started hanging out more often, sexually involved and all. He has a daughter (9 years old) which he soon introduced me to, very soon. Only a month or 2 in. I was caught a little off guard by that but I accepted it and was okay with it as things weren’t that serious with us. We kept hanging out and having that friends with benefits kind of relationship. Soon one day we were hanging out and he walked me to my car and goes “ I love you I’ll see you later” I looked at him in shock and didn’t know what to say and he quickly goes oh I’m just kidding .. I was so frustrated I jumped in my car and sped away as it bothered me he was joking about loving me. He apologized after which I also forgave him for. Then we kept talking on and on and finally I hit him with that question that every guy hates and that ruins every “relationship”. I said what are we? I started growing strong feelings for him and I wanted to be more at this point. He then tells me how he can’t be in a relationship because he doesn’t have the time for one and already try’s to give me as much time as possible and all that bullshit. After that things went to complete ****, we started arguing all the time, we even went a month without speaking to one another. Then we went back to messing around with one another.. If you can’t tell I’m so in love with this guy I can’t seem to let go i havee tried multiple times to drop him out of my lfie but he makes sure it’s impossible, constantly texts me and try’s to be friends because to him I’m “an amazing friend” and he doesn’t want to lose our friendship. So now 2 years later the situation is the same. We’re not dating but we talk daily/sleep together and hangout all the time? So recently about a week ago I brought him the situation to him because I just want him to be mine and I want to be his and this is exactly what I said .....“it's always all you can do. You'll probably be very confused, tell me your busy, or had a bad day at work or you don't know where this is coming from. But since we're already at it I'll bring this up now, once and for all Instead of waiting for the right time. Because I'll never find the right time with fear that I'll be rejected again from you. It's coming out of nowhere but I might as well let it all out now, now that I'm already upset. I'm going to stop acting like everything is okay. 2 years later and we're in the same position we were 2 years before. Nothing new, nothing changed. I can easily say you know that I fell so in love with you and I'm sure you see how heart broken I am every time I'm with you. But the only way we always continue is because I step on my self and let it be. But that's no longer the case. We can be friends but both you and I are welcome to see who we want (idk if that's already happening) in my case it's not. You don't want this and I did so it's time to let me move on without me feeling like I'm with someone that I want to be with when I'm clearly not. Maybe clear on your end. (Aka this petty argument) and honestly I'm pretty ******* upset so please don't make me more upset” he then replies "What is it you want.to see someone else? Is that it?, You probably think I am talking to someone? No that’s not the case I am not”
(To give you a little more description: when I say hangout I mean, me him and his daughter would make plans all the time initiated by him. He invited me over for Christmas and thanksgiving to) me and his daughter are very close and I’m scared to lose her.
My question is SOS what the hell do I do? He wants to talk in person about what I texted him and I have no idea what to say. I’ve never told him I loved him in person and I’m so nervous to when I see him. Idk how to tell him it’s either he wants me completely or he doesn’t have me at all.
Tell him what you want out of a monogamous relationship and what you are willing to do to acquire one including ignoring him and hooking up with someone else if he doesn't share commitments and goals, soon. Give him two days to confess or cut communication with you.
If I were this guy, I would be just as confused about you as you seem to be about him. First, you decide initially that he was not for you. You tell him so. But then you start sleeping with him. Then he introduces you to his daughter, says he loves you and you get bent out of shape over that. So then you ask him what exactly you two are? What is he supposed to say? He probably had no idea based on your actions. Suddenly you now have strong feelings for him and want more? He then claims he doesn't want/have time for a relationship. I wouldn't want one with a nut case like you either. Then, without clarifying what your relationship is, you go back to messing around because you are soooo in love suddenly.
First off, yes you two need to have a serious sit down and talk about things. Personally, if I were him, I would cut off contact and run from you. That would probably be the best thing for you to do also. Clarify the relationship. Is it FWB, is it leading to some type of long term serious thing or what. Then you can each decide if you are happy with whatever you come up with and determine if it is in your best interest to continue.