DSS

having had a career as a DSS child abuse investigator (not in MASS) i can verify that much of this is true and much is exaggerated. the entire child welfare system in america needs to be overhauled from the top down with a reality based perspective so often missing. a further discussion of this issue is highly merited to which i would gladly contribute.

Wow Dyslexia, I would have never guessed that you were in that line of work. I am very much involved in this subject and have been for several years because when I lived in Mass I had my own nightmare with DSS along with some of my friends and acquaintances. I was accused of medical neglect simply because I refused to put my son on Ritalin. It got to the point that they threatened to take my son if I refused. I consider myself one of the lucky ones because I had someplace to run, but one of my best friends lost 2 of her children due to the fact that she was reported by neighbors who didn't like her and she refused to sign the papers DSS put in front of her that stated she was neglecting her kids. Now this friend of mine did so much for her children and when they took them away, it was heart wrenching just watching what she went through.

gezzy,

The southeast quadrant salutes the northeast quadrant! Glad you were able to make your way out of the morass, and sorry about your friend and neighbor. Complete overhaul? Putting it mildly.

s

very interesting gezzy, there were a number of cases where i threatened teachers because they wanted children put on ritalin telling them that if anyone needed medication it was the teacher.

Thanks so much Sumac.

Dyslexia
It's very interesting that you said that because the teachers are the ones who kept calling DSS on me because they wanted my son on Ritalin. A small world we live in I see.
Good for you Dyslexia!!! You're my hero!!!

What is that song, "mother's little helper" this a pill for everything has really gotten completly out of control in my opinion.

Joanne
You're absolutely right! I'm a no nonsense mom who has always taught my son not to do drugs ;-)

Thankfully they were not giving mind control drugs to kids when Cindy was in school and I never had to face a stiuation like this.

modern education 'if you cant keep the child's attention by teaching then you must medicate' and yes of course i am exaggerating as there are many many wonderful teachers.

My mother feels the same way Joanne.

Dyslexia
Exactly!

Maybe DSS is an isolated agency working all by itself? I remember a time when (supposedly abusive) mothers were given counseling, the offer of volunteers to visit the home and assist the parent(s), parenting classes. Are "big sisters" (or big grandmas) still available to families in trouble?

When I was a Big Sister the idea was to take the child for an hour, a few hours, or a day, just to introduce something new into the home. The two kids I big-sistered had two parents but the kid was acting up/out in school and/or at home. I usually took the kids to a movie/dinner, gave them horseback riding lessons, or just allowed them to hang around my house and we baked cookies or a meal, etc. The parents usually were in counseling (doesn't work without the counseling.)

I also worked on a volunteer basis with kids in a sort of residential juvenile holding center. I played cards or other games with them. It's surprising how many kids just sit around and do nothing, with the adults sitting there yaking.

I wonder why parents don't know it is their primary job to make sure their kids PLAY, work, read. Sad, because a bored kid can annoy anybody half to death.

So, what do they offer a family today that just needs a little break, some assistance, some new ideas, someone to tell them striking a child is not an option?

Tex-Star
It would be great if the DSS did what they were intended to do in the first place, but they have gotten out of control. They are recieving government funding for every child they remove from a home and innocent families are torn apart every day. I have done lots of research on DSS for a good 6 years now and what they are doing is kidnapping children from loving parents, while many parents who are actually abusing their children are getting away with it.
I didn't need or want DSS in my life, but they pushed themselves into my home and my life for several years because I refused to drug my child. We were a normal happy family until a few teachers and DSS decided that my son should be drugged. My son wasn't even one of those children that were bouncing off the walls in school or disrupting the class, he simply had trouble with the way he was being taught and the teachers didn't have the time to stop and help him. We've since moved to Canada going on 3 years ago and I have been home schooling my son for over 2 years now with no problems. I just watched a program recently that talked about exactly what I was telling the schools for years, which is all children learn differently. Teachers learn to teach one way and that's it. Well, some children can't learn that way. I was one of those children that had trouble when I was in school, so I understood what my son was going through, which is why teaching him comes easy to me. Now the schools my son attended prefered to label him as being ADHD and telling him he had a disorder, which is where the pushing of Ritalin came in. My son gave up completely on his school work after that using the excuse that he had a disorder. I was furious to say the least.
It took me getting my son out of the country and years to convince him that he's normal. Now he works very hard on his school work and is confident about his future.
If we had stayed there, there is no doubt in my mind that DSS would have ruined his life with the help of a few Ritalin happy teachers.
Keep in mind that I don't have a problem with teachers in general as they are not all like this. I actually have friends who are teachers who are against what these teachers are doing.

Gezzy, I understand, too well. Teachers would tell me my oldest son was fidgity, couldn't sit still. When I mentioned that to my doctor he said, too quickly, "Do you want some medication?" I did give this medication to my son only once, then never again. He fidgited his way through high school and scored high enough to get a scholarship to college.

There was a wonderful school in Clarkston, MI. I interviewed and wrote stories about this school in the beginning. One teacher was a psychologist and she said all the students were in "special ed" meaning that gifted students and those needing special ed in some other way are the same.

Good for you, Gezzy, what you did for your son. I would have been extremely upset if someone told me my son had a "disorder." So would he have been.
I have always agreed that kids should stay with the biological parents. That is, every effort should be made to keep them there.

I had a teacher say about my youngest son: "He must be hiding something because of the way he seems happy all the time."
God, imagine! He used to kick both feet in the air as in "kick the habit." This kid went to the Olympics!

I think we have to bring up our children as we see fit, even if we have to fight for that right. Mothers DO know. I just know that you might have agreed to give your son Ritalin had he been bouncing off the walls.

Tex-Star

Tex-Star
Looks like we have similar situations. When you said "I had a teacher say about my youngest son: "He must be hiding something because of the way he seems happy all the time." I couldn't believe it because a school counsellor at one of my sons schools called me one day saying he was concerned about my son that day because he saw him jumping in the snow in front of the school after school. My son was 10 years old at the time and loved the snow. I supose asking the counsellor if he was playing with a full deck didn't help my situation any, but I simply couldn't help it. I was totally beside myself that anyone on this planet would be concerned about any 10 year old jumping and having fun in the snow. It got to the point that I had a very bad relationship with all the staff at this school. After that incident, the school councellor called DSS on a regular basis including the day I asked him if he was playing with a full deck. He had also called DSS twice after that to say that my son was going to school with messy hair when my son had a crew cut. The lies continued until we left the country and I thank God every day that I was able to save our lives from such an evil situation. I never neglected or mistreated my son for as long as he's been alive, and I would have rather spent all those years in prison than to go through what they put us through. That's how bad it really was. Also, that school counsellor literally told my son that he needed medication (Ritalin) and told him that I had given up on him because I wouldn't let him take them. My son came home so angry with me because this evil bastard was actually trying to turn him against me just to get his way. I then called the principal and told him that I didn't want that counsellor to have any further contact with my son. Well, guess who got another call from him? Of course it was DSS. I could go on and on about what the schools and DSS put us through. It doesn't even matter who you are, if you don't like your neighbor and they piss you off, all you have to do to turn their lives into a living hell is to call DSS and make up some bogus stories about them and the next thing you know your neighbor loses their children. It's really is that easy. That is why I'm still fighting this issue even though I found happiness for my son and I. Some people wonder why I won't let it go, but they would have to have gone through it to understand. My heart still bleeds for all the helpless families over there that are still going through what I did and worse :-(

Hang in there, Gezzy. You've been on my hero list for years.

Awwwww!!!! You are just sooooooo sweet Roger (smooch) ;-)

Tex-Star
I almost forgot to respond to your statement "I just know that you might have agreed to give your son Ritalin had he been bouncing off the walls".

Even if that were the situation, I would have been very reluctant about putting my son on medication. Some kids are just full of energy and I still don't think it's a good enough reason to drug them.

I also forgot to say that I also tried the Ritalin for my son due to the threat from DSS and the side effects were awful, so I took him off them in no time. At the time I didn't know much about it and didn't have a computer, so I invested in a web tv so that I could do research. I researched everything from Ritalin, ADHD, and DSS and I was horrified at my findings. I learned how dangerous Ritalin was and read many stories from doctors who don't believe that ADHD even exists. They said that there was no medical proof of the fact and ADHD was just a label they used so they could dish out the meds. There were 2 seperate cases of a total of 4 lawyers that were suing the psychiatric association and the drug companies for being involved in this ADHD and Ritalin scam for their own personal gain. I also did tons of research on DSS and found out that they are snatching children from their families for profit as well since they get big time funding from the government for every child they remove from a home and the social workers themselves also get a bonus. I know this must sound crazy, but it's true and it's also evil.

Gezzy, wrote a book review on "Driven to Distraction" by Edward Hallowell and John Ratey (MDs) in 1994 and was horrified at the medication they gave kids (for ADD/ADHD), and its reaction.

I think most everybody has a little ADD. In our family we solved that with discipline/self discipline. Becoming a newspaper reporter was perfect work for me - meeting deadlines, getting myself to multiple appointments on a daily basis.

This one 3rd grade teacher of my oldest said he would get his chair/desk moving around, tipping up on one leg, then another. At some point he balanced the thing on one leg, getting better and better at it, then crashing to the floor. A friend of mine said her son would "tackle" himself periodically (as in football), jumping in the air with both arms around himself, throwing himself to the ground - guess he got pretty good at that, too. As moms, we thought that was rather funny, maybe hysterically funny. I really hate what they are doing to little boys today, as if they all must fit in one mold.