Time to stop the kicking.

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OK here is the word I hate.. DICIPLINE. >sigh<
It is time.
When bean is on her changing table sometimes she gets SO excited, anxious, tired or what have you .. . that she kicks her feet straight out while i am changing her. I have gotten bruises on my lips from her kicks. She just keeps her feet in the air most of the time now and since she has gotten taller ( she is now almost 3 ft tall ) I am getting kicked in the eyes, nose, jaw... etc.

It is time to teach her not to kick while I am changing her. In my eyes this is going to be impossible. Confused

For 2 reasons.
1) Self control will have to be taught and at 1 there is little concept of that

2) Her musles still contract naturally when she is laying on her back. Fetal position is still a natural comfortable position for her.

But this is hurting me. Not like EMERGENCY room or doctor visit pains.. just little bumps and bruises that are bothersome.

So how can I teach her this with out getting myself frustrated and getting her frustrated? She enjoys changing times because we sing, sometimes we have a tickle fest , we talk, she gets her baby lotion massage etc.....
Changing times are not exactly something I can just STOP when she kicks and I dont want her to, so I have to come up with some sort of repremand that will help her curb her kicking legs.

Suggestions?

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Well, I always tried to use the concept of 'Positive Parenting' and natural consequences when dealing with discipline. It's not a bad word or concept and it doesn't mean punishment. When my girls were smaller I participated in a positive parenting forum on IVillage. I don't know whether or not it's still active, but they were wonderful people who talk about discipline in terms of reinforcement of 'if you do x, then y will happen' because y is a natural outcome of doing x (short of letting them run into the road to learn it's dangerous or anything else equally harmful).

So, if Bean kicks you in the face then 1) it hurts you and hurting someone isn't fun or nice, 2) if you're hurt, you don't feel like playing anymore and changing time becomes less fun for both of you, 3) once you're not having fun you just want to get the business done and over with and hopefully the next time she won't kick you and you can have fun again. All of this can be stated while you're finishing up the task and then offer to go do something else that doesn't hurt anyone.

It will take some reinforcement but you'll end up in the same place at the end as someone who gets angry and uses punishment (which also takes more than once to sink in).

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Hmm, that is a good idea.
She does love to play after she is changed and that I think is why she gets so excited. I understand that her drawing up of her legs is still comfortable and normal for her so i can just point out the kicking movement as a " no play time" movement.
It isnt that I dont like the word dicipline.. I just dont like the images that come into my head when i hear the word and some of the reactions I get from peoplewhen using the word.
Example my mother in law. Rolling Eyes

I was talking to Mr wolf about how we will set rules for bean and what our dicipline limits/rules are for US. She freaked out and started asking why we would spank her?! Dicipline doesnt mean spank or anything else that is hurtful. It simply means RULES+CONSEQUENCES. >sigh<

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Wow shewolfnm, your baby is a year old and almost 3 feet tall?

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Yes. She is 34 inches tall, 26 lbs.
She looks like a 2 year old. She got it from her father.
He is 6'5 , his mother is 6'0 maybe 5'11 actually..but!
I am 5'6. Laughing

There was a reason she was born a month early! She didnt FIT!

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Damn!

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And then there's the camp that thinks if you *don't* spank them, they'll end up spoiled brats. We had those debates over there too. Anyway, my children were never spanked but they are two of the best behaved kids I know. Just because our consequences weren't arbitrary and include punishment doesn't mean they don't learn the value of rules and consequences. Good luck, She. It's a long, long journey.

Oh, and I'm 6'0" tall too. It wasn't too fun as an adolescent, but eventually I came to see my height as an asset.

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We hold Ya-ya's feet, tell her "kicking hurts," "get away from my body if you are going to kick," etc. An ongoing lesson. It seems to be taking hold, however.

As for spanking, empirical studies have shown:
a) spanking is not an effective discipline technique.
b) it degrades trust between the parent and child.

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I will never spank. And I will stand my ground on that to anyone. Pain is NOT a teacher. I am. And I am not pain.
I do not judge those who choose to spank, I just wont do it. I was spanked as a child and the fear I felt was twords my mom, not my actions wich I think was ass-backwards. Children should be taught what is right and wrong with out throwing fear into the equasion.
When children learn to fear thier parents, they learn to hate the power they have over them.

As for the tactics I will take later on when she is older?
Truthfully.. I have NO clue what I will do. Laughing

Who does??! It is a learning experience for every parent.

One thing about this ' kicking problem' I had thought of is maybe slowly getting rid of the tiny play time afterwords . If there isnt anything for her to get excited about .. then I would think the kicking would stop? Not getting rid of it AS a punishment, just a change in the playing habit. Maybe starting the play time when she is OFF of the changing table?

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I think bean might be to young to understand that her
kicking is causing pain to you. She's not doing it intentially,
she is playing and having a jolly good time, and the
kicking is showing her emotion.

Why not change her on the floor, then you're not as
close with your face.

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I have tried this, then I have to convince her that she shouldnt roll away..... Laughing

She has a regular size changing table.
When I stand next to it, the rail is just above my belly button... ( yeah, im short ) haha!
And I dont think she quite understands it as well.. and knowing it is just her excitement that is bringing on this kicking.. I am thinking that slowly stopping the play time after a change may just squelch that uncontrolled excitement all together. No more face kicks for mom, and she and I can adopt another ritual for after changing that wont get her too excited before hand... ?

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....or you could give her something exciting into her
hands while you change the diapers. She'll be distracted at least until you're finished changing.

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jeezeee.. why didnt I think of that.
Embarrassed

so simple!
There is my answer! haha!
thank you!
I have to do just that when we are out and I have to use the changing tables in public bathrooms because she is so distracted with the noises in the bathrooms she tries to roll over and see what is going on. So I keep a little toy in her diaper bag that she only sees when we are in the bathrooms and it works every time.
I think I need to get a new little toy for the changing table!

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Time to stop the kicking.

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