who exists?

How about two grand and no talking?

Round the back in 5 mins. xxx

just seen last two posts only

have I missed something here?

Spendalot......

Queenie took him on and he's applying to every quack he know's for a packet of viagra.

ah i see

let us know how you found it oh Pentagrammical One, and you Ms queenie.

Nah, Only joking.
We have a lot of nerve saying such things to a Queen dont we?
I could cut of all your heads. And not the ones on the end of your necks either.

The Queen-"Hang 'em now!That'll larn 'em"

Berthold Brecht.


It takes half a lifetime for a libertine to reach burn out.You don't think one would take Viagra when all it does is extend the punishment and prevents the mind from contemplating the higher things in life.

er

probably

I'm shocked to the marrow and utterly appalled at such cynicism in the face of pure lyrical strivings.

Is this about spendius being celebate again?
It was Lola who told me that one.

Theres some gossip for you, eh steve?

Celibate, that disgusting word arises from the quagmire, yet again. Spendius no doubt uses the expression 'celibate' to avoid revealing his brewers droop syndrome.

A man who can't get it up, must tender the excuse of celibacy in my book. He should work on the problem, not create a masquerade of trivia to support it.

Then again, perhaps he is genuinely Celibate, in which case he should place Norman Bates's mug-shot on display as his avatar.

I can just imagine Spendius sat in the Spendi Motel, playing with his flaccid pecker and talking to a corpse; "It would stand for you my beauty, if only you would warm to my touch"

It's a grave serious malfunction of your sexual organ Spendius, you need to get it checked out.

Before you do some damage..

That two grand would have been easy money for you Queenie, see if you can get it off him, if you do, I'll only charge you a fee of One grand, to satisfy your wildest sexual desires and womanly needs! How's that sound my dear?

By heck-it is a tender spot isn't it?

And it's all based on something Lola told Queenie and Queenie passed on to Steve as gossip.Like at a coffee morning.

Are you saying it's all hearsay Spendius?

Thanx for the offer Mathos.

Yeah spendy tell us the truth.
I personally think that nobody would say that they're celibate unless they actually are.
Because its embarassing.
But thats just my view.

Naturally you would say that Queenie.The celibate man is beyond your power and that will never do will it.He causes you to have to try a bit harder.You like to think that a bit of cleavage,cheap eyeshadow and a promising pout is all you need and the meal ticket falls into your lap.The sap.What I see the saps do in the pub is embarrassing and all for a moment's glory for 7 minutes about once a month according to that recent survey.You need to be triple A+ to raise a celibate's eyebrow.Don't you like a challenge?

You don't seriously think anybody intelligent is not aware of the self-serving nature of your strictures do you?Some of the macho lovers in my pub look and act like wrung out dishcloths.

"Some of the macho lovers in my pub look and act like wrung out dishcloths"

And the men?

They stand,sometimes lean,at one end of the bar discussing Shakespeare,sport and betting,home comforts,the deviousness of women,the micro and the macrocosmic ineffables and watch the ladies go in and out of the throneroom with knowing eyes and Zitty jests.

Occasionally a happily married person attempts to join the company but they rarely last much beyond the first sneer.

hmmm interesting pub you frequent Spendy

take out discussion of Shakespeare and micro macro ineffables, add a lot more football and general swearing, plus fags crisps and the odd punch up, and I know quite a few pubs like that.

What's zitty jests btw? Anything to do with acne on the cleavage?

Zitty jests are those deriving from the cultural ambience which hovered around the now defunct ZIT magazine and which VIZ is the modern version with the air freshener.Acne on the cleavage is a trifle Church of England.

We had a pretty good punch up last sat night.Two 30 something ladies were in the ruck.

But our place has just been done up and more or less ruined but we are working on it.Pubs are the last fortress of freedom.

Shakespeare is pretty good once you get the hang of it.There's supposed to be over 600 nose jokes in the Complete Works but you need a first from Cambridge to twig them all.