I was just asking because I feel eye contact (plus a smile) is a nice way to say 'hello' non-verbally, whether to people you know, or to strangers. I find myself often doing it to people I don't know on the way to classes and such... sometimes its the same people from day to day. But when I told one of my friends this, he said it was really weird and he'd be creeped out if a girl he didn't know made eye contact with him more than once.
Then another friend joined in the conversation and said that she made a lot of eye contact with guys she didn't know as a subtle 'hey there', where she'd look at them for a second, then look away. I thought that sounded fine, but again, the guy friend dissented in saying it was weird.
So I was just wondering.
Remember that in some cultures, eye contact is considered too direct and impolite. For example, traditionally in Japan, members of the opposite sex would keep a more marked distance and avoid eye contact as not to send wrong messages. Though, in my experiences, times have changed.
Personally, I am more worried when someone cannot or will not look me in the eye. Although, it could very well be the person's style or that he/she might merely be shy. Of course, on the opposite end of the spectrum, someone who stares incessantly is also rather creepy.
Boomerang-what job do you have?
Calam-Ive just realised who you completely remind me off.
There was a short haired actress you look like in Northern Exposure, she was also in Cliffhanger with Sly Stallone!!Phew, thats been bugging me for days!
I think it is important to acknowledge others instead of pretending you're living in a sealed vacuum.
Voodoo -- even with this Japanese custom of not looking, they would be bowing, right?
There are surely differences between what is "an acknowledgement glance" and a rude stare or a flirty look.
Re: eye contact
spiffysquirrel wrote:Does it creep you out if someone makes extended eye contact with you?
I generally don't mind, unless I'm being stared at, then I figure I've got something stuck to my face and I don't know it.
I travelled to the southern US a few years ago and went to a mall. EVERYONE was so friendly that I didn't know what to make of it. I felt like everyone knew me, and that was wierd (I've spent too many years in the North East where people are suspicious).
I'm a portrait photographer, material girl. I look at people for a living.
this made me grin
Heeven wrote:If I am generally in my own world on the train and I don't notice much around me travelling to and from work, plus I don't wear my glasses and I am short-sighted.
part of the eye contact I make is because I don't wear my glasses much when I'm out wandering around. I'm just sorta walking and peering around, and then discover I've made eye contact with someone. Luckily, they're usually smiling back at me.
Quote:Calam-Ive just realised who you completely remind me off.
There was a short haired actress you look like in Northern Exposure, she was also in Cliffhanger with Sly Stallone!!Phew, thats been bugging me for days!
janine turner... i see what u mean...
Ha, that's funny! My previous avatar they compared
to Janeane Garafolo
I'm flattered, but I guess I'm just photogenic - in natural
it's all more plain Jane
-----
SO lets go back to eye contact
After a reasonable period of time, I'll look away if the other person doesn't. For me, "reasonable" is in the range of 3-4 seconds.
Is that with strangers cicerone or in general?
I guess I can hold an eye contact as long as I don't
find someone of the opposite sex attraktive. If I do,
I get shy and look away.
Long-term eye contact is only with my wife; especially when we have a 'serious talk.'
I'm a shy person, so I'm accustomed to avoid eye contact. I've been working on it as it gives me many advantages in treating with other people.
I use it most on classes and it usually makes the teacher notice me, when I have nothing to do and want to see people's reactions or when I look at myself in the mirror for 5 hours straight.
On good days, I do the eye-contact and smile thing, even though where I live (Scandinavia of US), the norm is to avert eye-contact as soon as possible. (i smile at a lot of foreheads)
On bad days, I lose the eye-contact chicken game.
I used to live in a small town in real Scandinavia, and eye contact it the town was reserved only for people you already knew (or in pubs on weekends, when other influences ruled the eye-contact realm)
I just don't see the necessity to look at somebody's eyeballs for very long. I think while there is social intercoarse in play, one might look at another person while they talk, but not necessarily into their eyeballs.
Interesting gravy, I always thought the Scandinavians
would be more open.
JoeFX, istn't it customary in Mexico that the women
avoid eye contact to suggest a more subservient role in
society?
cicerone imposter wrote:I just don't see the necessity to look at somebody's eyeballs for very long. I think while there is social intercoarse in play, one might look at another person while they talk, but not necessarily into their eyeballs.
It depends cicerone, I once met an american indian who had unusual
green eyes, really bright and light green. One couldn't help but just
stare into his eyes, I've never seen anything like it again.
CJ, I've learned that there are many mixed-race folks in our country, and the combination of English-Irish-German-American Indian seems rather common. I've met quite a few with European and American Indian backgrounds, although I don't ever remember seeing green eyes.
