eye contact

It is all according to the situation. If it were a stranger, yes it would creep me out. If I were having a heated conversation with someone that I know, it would indicate to me that the person was very interested in what was being discussed.

Personally, I become uncomfortable with people whom I know, who seem to be unwilling or incapable of making eye contact. I perceive it as a matter of character. If they can't look you straight in the eye, what are they attempting to conceal?

Sometimes you can be fooled.I once knew a guy that never made eye contact. I really disliked that trait in him. It was only when I got to know him better, that he told me that he was legally blind, and made it a point to attempt to conceal that fact from people who did not know him well.

EhBeth - are you seeing this....?


SpiffySq - ehBeth and I, along with a third friend, have been discussing eye contact these last few days..... back later.

why do u ask?

It depends. Every culture has a different notion on this
subject. Italians will stare at you, period. That can be
annoying and disrespectful to someone not used to it.

Americans tend to look you straight in the eyes but not
necessarily hold it up. Latinos are to busy looking at
other body parts

In essence, I agree with Phoenix though, it depends on
the situation.

Welcome to a2k, spiffysquirrel. I'm making eye contact... but only in a friendly way

In my area (the Pacific NW) it is common to make eye contact with complete strangers and is often followed by a slight nod or smile (& may even include a brief spoken greeting). This might happen while walking on the street, walking through a store or mall, or driving down the road. You don't have to do so, but nobody would think it odd. If you were on a walking trail, then it would be odd NOT to and then we assume the person is really strange or snooty.

There was an article about this last week concerning Seattle and how people seemed friendly because we nod & smile but we don't mean it when we say "Let's get together." Sad but true.

Im shy and that is a big reason why I cant look peopl in the eye.
I think if your being introduced to someone a good first eye contact is good with a firm hello to show they are noticed, but thats about it with me.

I never look at people whilst walking around shops, down a street.Sometimes I know people are looking at me but I would find it strange to look back at them.

Over the years I have forced my self to look at people a si really notice it when I dont and I dont want them to think Im being rude.

I probably creep out more people than they creep out me.

Ha, try that in Manhattan Piffka and no one will respond.
When I lived in NY, people looked down on the pavement
and hardly ever made eye contact. (strangers passing by).

Here in southern California people look at you directly
and smile as well.

Calam,when I worked in a shop some Spaniards or Italians came in and just stared at the manageress!It really made her uncomfortable.

Interesting, isn't it? Gotta say... I was told when I went to NY a couple of years ago... DON'T LOOK AT ANYBODY!!!! I tried not to but old habits die hard and as it happened, many people responded to my inadvertent west-coast friendliness. Maybe they were tourists?

"Cultures" is right, CJ. Imagine the Navajo culture thinking it incredibly rude to make eye contact, coming in contact with Anglo society thinking you're shifty if you don't.

Also, Anglos stand respectfully in the presence of their seniors (sometimes). Navajos and Apaches think it disrespectful to stand above them.

Now, imagine a young, traditional Navajo at a job interview. Walk into the office, sit without being invited, and stare at your own feet.

i usually try to make eye contact with the wimminz, but not the minz...

Haha Piffka, one never knows if they're tourists or not

If they always carry 20 Dollars with them (in case they get
mugged) than they're natives. When we moved from NY
to SD, one of our friends said: "How can you leave without
ever getting mugged."

More than 5 seconds of eye contact with a stranger is unacceptable to most people. In the US that is.

I'm all about eye contact.

For the most part it gets me into some interesting conversations as people don't expect others to make eye contact and smile or nod. People wonder how I keep meeting new, interesting people. I walk with my head up (unless it's too icy out) and make eye contact. That's how.

One of the interesting side effects (?) is that I get asked for directions a lot more than other people around me - regardless of where I am. I seem to look like a local most places I go in North America and Europe. I think it's cuz I look comfortable enough to be looking around - and at people.

My job is all about eye contact but I think the camera acts as a barrier that makes it somehow more okay - people forget that I'm looking at them (I've seen some really funny things through the camera).

I've never really thought about how this translates into my life outside of work. I do have a habit of staring at people.....

I'll have to monitor myself and see how I react and how others react to making eye contact with me.

Interesting thread. Lots to think about here.

Ah ehBeth, maybe that is why I get asked so often for directions. As a matter of fact I have been asked directions in Europe also. Once in London, a couple of elderly women asked me how to get to Buckingham Palace. Since even though I was I tourist, I was familiar with the area so with my Boston accent I began to give them directions. The look on their faces was priceless.

I am a big proponent of eye contact. I used to be much more shy and did not look people in the eye as often, however, now I feel it is important. If some one does not look me in the eye, it gives me the impression that they are lying or trying to hide something from me.

If I'm in a bad mood or commuting to/from work, there's no eye contact. I am generally in my own world on the train and I don't notice much around me travelling to and from work, plus I don't wear my glasses and I am short-sighted.

At other times I do look around a lot - shopping, out socializing, etc. and have no problem looking a people and strangers in the eye. Direct eye-contact doesn't bother me unless I feel threatened or in a bad mood (see above). If someone is staring at me too long I get cranky and will stare right back to make them back off or if I feel ridiculously uncomfortable I will ask them what they are staring at because once, I had pen-marks on my face and the guy just couldn't look away. I think I scared him when I snapped at him and then felt sorry when he explained. Then I stopped feeling sorry and asked him was he going to let me continue on my way without telling me I had pen on my face - jeez! I think if I saw that, I'd tell a stranger.

I'm a believer in making eye contact. I'm amiable and this is a classic way to let people know who I am. If, in fact, this person intends aggression or harm, they know I'm not afraid. I dislike and distrust people who have been staring at me and I catch their eyes then their look immediately slides away the element for distrust has been sown. Conversely if the gaze is returned I grin and nod. I'm a really good grinner.