7
   

Found a condom, he said he needed it to keep things dry when Jogging

 
 
Reply Fri 6 Jul, 2018 03:47 am
I am sorry to ask such a question but I think I need advice.

My husband has been very uninterested in sex lately which is not normal for him but I thought it was because he has a mental health desease. He also spend a lot of time working out, nearly like an addiction and has been sleeping in our home gym, on the couch and so on but not in our bed.
He went away because of his job for a week and did not call once. I asked him to, because he was not feeling well and I wanted to know how he was doing, but he did not call me. When I called he did not answer the cell phone.

When I unpacked his stuff I found a condom. He said he needed it to keep his cell phone dry when jogging.
Next day I asked him again and made him promise to tell me the truth. Again he swore that he needed the condom to keep his cell phone dry when jogging.

He has lied to me before (about his mental health and about losing a job) but he had never cheated on me. I do not think he is a cheat but cannot get this out of my head. How do you think?
 
oralloy
 
  2  
Reply Fri 6 Jul, 2018 04:47 am
It is certainly plausible that he is cheating.

But it is also plausible that he is telling the truth. It does sound like a silly way to keep things dry, but people do silly things.

Hiring a private detective will give you the answers that you seek.
WorriedWife
 
  2  
Reply Fri 6 Jul, 2018 06:09 am
@oralloy,
Thanks for the answer. Actually he does silly things all of the time... especially when it comes to sports.
I hoped for people to give me reassurance that it is okay and that some people use condoms to keep things dry while jogging all of the time. I would feel really bad when I hired a private detective, like not trusting him enough.

What about the other things I wrote. Is it typical for cheating? Actually I thought that he was cheating long before I found the condom because he was acting so oddly (sleeping in the home gym, chatting at three o‘clock in the night, calling his best friend and his brother (or so he said) and not letting me hear what they were talking about, having no interest in sex.
He never calls when away for a job, no matter how many weeks.
But then he told me he was not feeling well and I felt horrible and just wanted to support him.

Yesterday he was so offended and blamed me that I was attacking him instead of supporting him when he needed me the most.
engineer
 
  4  
Reply Fri 6 Jul, 2018 06:15 am
@WorriedWife,
In my opinion, you are being played. There is only one thing I've ever heard of condoms being used to keep dry and it's not a phone. Of course he is trying to redirect attention to you not supporting him instead of explaining why he is so distant and using condoms as phone bags. I think you know the answer here.
maxdancona
 
  5  
Reply Fri 6 Jul, 2018 06:16 am
@WorriedWife,
I don't think it is plausible at all. I have never heard of any man using a condom while jogging. I would simply use a plastic grocery bag.

As a man, I find this explanation to be ridiculous.
0 Replies
 
WorriedWife
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Jul, 2018 06:39 am
@engineer,
@engineer: I did tell him that I thought he was acting strangely and he said it was because of his illness. He has got ptsd and he said that he was feeling very poorly... actually I confronted him about disappearing several times and one time he was hiding in the bathroom for a long and refused to come out and when I confronted him he said that he was feeling very unwell and actually feared he might harm himself.
Then I did everything to support him and tried not to stress him.

He had lied to me before about losing his job, about his mental health, but it was because he was ashamed and I forgave him.
CoastalRat
 
  3  
Reply Fri 6 Jul, 2018 06:54 am
@WorriedWife,
Yeah, lets think this through. I'm at the store and I need to pick up something to keep my phone dry while jogging/working out. Hmmm, over in this section I can pick up some sandwich bags which will be really easy to put my phone in and get it out if it should ring. And over here are condoms which are just natural phone holders and will likely take me a minute or so to get my phone into one and might look silly to other guys at the gym if I have to answer it or pull it out during my workout. Now which one should I get?

If I tried that on my wife she would start laughing all the way to a lawyer's office.
0 Replies
 
oralloy
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Jul, 2018 07:07 am
@WorriedWife,
WorriedWife wrote:
What about the other things I wrote. Is it typical for cheating?
Yes. Actually it sounds almost like a textbook example of cheating.

But I wouldn't go so far as to say that it can't be innocent. Over the years I've seen many cases of people doing dumb things that made them look suspicious when nothing was amiss. That's why I recommended a private detective. It's the only way to know.
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Fri 6 Jul, 2018 07:16 am
@WorriedWife,
Buy him a waterproof holder for his phone and see what happens.

PS I think he's cheating, big time. And I am so sorry for what it's come to for you.
0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Jul, 2018 08:43 am
@engineer,
engineer wrote:

In my opinion, you are being played. There is only one thing I've ever heard of condoms being used to keep dry and it's not a phone. Of course he is trying to redirect attention to you not supporting him instead of explaining why he is so distant and using condoms as phone bags. I think you know the answer here.


I would think there would be a better cheaper way to keep a cell phone dry like a zip locked bag. Seems like a more difficult costly way to keep a cell phone dry - a zip locked bag would be easier and cheaper.
Ragman
 
  2  
Reply Fri 6 Jul, 2018 10:09 am
@Linkat,
How could you fit a cell phone in a condom to begin with? Why would anyone believe such a cock-a-mamie story? (pun intended)
Linkat
 
  3  
Reply Fri 6 Jul, 2018 10:12 am
@Ragman,
Ragman wrote:

How could you fit a cell phone in a condom to begin with? Why would anyone believe such a cock-a-mamie story? (pun intended)


To be honest I would not know - never tried it before either he has a very small phone or a very large squarish.....well you know.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  3  
Reply Fri 6 Jul, 2018 10:22 am
I had to google this.

Apparently it's a thing. A weird thing - and unlikely with the rest of the details provided by the OP - but a thing.

https://www.condom-sizes.org/news/dont-be-silly-wrap-your-smartphone-for-maximum-protection

https://soranews24.com/2013/05/17/shield-your-rocket-waterproofing-a-smartphone-with-a-condom/

https://sociorocketnewsen.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/condomphone2.jpg

http://www.businessinsider.com/nato-troops-are-wrapping-phones-in-condoms-to-thwart-russian-hackers-2017-10

Quote:
Estonian troops on the base now have to follow a "no smartphones" policy and are forced to remove their SIM cards, according to The Journal, adding that they can only use the internet in certain secure areas.

It's gotten so bad that their superiors order them to jump into lakes during operations to make sure they're following the policy, and some soldiers are even wrapping their phones in condoms.


https://lifehacker.com/5560634/two-simple-but-effective-tricks-to-waterproof-your-gear

apparently it's been around for a while as a thing Shocked



https://lifehacker.com/252183/friday-fun-waterproof-your-electronics-navy-seal-style

Quote:
DIY web site Instructables details how to wrap and waterproof your electronics just like the Navy SEALs - in two big condoms.

Check out the video after the jump for a look at the dual waterproof solution in action. Surprisingly, even with the two layers of condoms over the top, the underwater video taken with the digital camera is impressively clear.
maxdancona
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Jul, 2018 10:46 am
@Ragman,
Ragman wrote:

How could you fit a cell phone in a condom to begin with? Why would anyone believe such a cock-a-mamie story? (pun intended)


That depends on the size of your cell-phone, and the size of the condoms you use.
WorriedWife
 
  2  
Reply Fri 6 Jul, 2018 02:43 pm
@maxdancona,
So I talked to him again and he said again that he needed my support and that he was sorry about the condom but did not do anything, that military folks see them as tools instead of condoms and use them for all kinds of things like hauling water or keeping things dry and clean (and I do not know enough vets that do not know him who I could ask if this is true). So that When he comes across a condom he sees it as a kind of tool and does not think about how that must make a woman feel.

Apart from that there really seem to be joggers who use condoms for that purpose. Did some research.

He always makes me feel so bad for not supporting him, not believing him, but as I said he had lied to me before which makes it difficult to trust him.
WorriedWife
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Jul, 2018 02:44 pm
@WorriedWife,
Why does it say @maxdancona? I was replying at everybody.
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Jul, 2018 02:55 pm
@WorriedWife,
You can instead select "Reply to All" at the top of the page to the right of "Read Question" button instead of selecting "Reply". If you read the last post and click on Reply, it then assigns that last post's author to your reply.
0 Replies
 
Sturgis
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Jul, 2018 02:57 pm
@WorriedWife,
To reply to everybody, hit the Reply button towards the bottom left of the page (scroll down). If you just tap on reply below a user name, you end up where you just did, replying singularly to one person.
0 Replies
 
FOUND SOUL
 
  2  
Reply Sat 7 Jul, 2018 03:07 pm
@WorriedWife,
WorriedWife.

Yes, I do believe that you should support each other in marriage.

Does he support you emotionally? Obviously not physically.

I would be more concerned of his constant isolation of "himself", hiding in the bathroom, the thoughts of harming himself, the addiction to the gym, a place to escape.

It's sad what vets have had to go through, breaks my heart. So many do come out with mental health issues, breaks my heart.

Support. And, help him find ways, to help him over his mental heath issues, and hopefully in return, he can find solace in his relationship and prefer the arms of you holding him, instead of hiding in the bathroom.

Instead, of worrying about cheating and providing him with more issues to deal with.

With cheating, you will find out, eventually. All do. And if that occurs, then you can make the management decision to stay or leave.

Worrying out it, will eat you alive and at the same time, provide more anxiety to someone that has his own issues.

Worrying out it will not solve the problem.

Finding ways to have your Husband have something to smile about again, however, will solve some of the problems to your marriage.
0 Replies
 
happywheelsunblocked
 
  1  
Reply Wed 11 Jul, 2018 11:02 pm
@ehBeth,
what if he using a big iPad
0 Replies
 
 

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