Democrats Unveil Bold Plan To Win Back South By 2076

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The Democratic National Committee released a statement yesterday stating there's "a darn good chance" their party could be competitive in the South "no later than 72 years from now."

DNC chairman Terry McAuliffe, who somehow still has a job, said "bold measures" were necessary and, if immediate action is not taken, the Democrats "will end up batting .000" in the South for the "entire 21st century."

Some analysts estimated that 72 years was "a bit long," while others estimated the Democrats "don't have a realistic chance" of winning a Southern state until the year 2116.

Other DNC initiatives include "finding out more about this Christianity stuff" and perhaps "getting' a gun and go shootin' some geese."

In a move illustrating the blue-red divide in the U.S., officials in the blue enclave of California announced they plan to open an embassy in the heart of red America. Mississippi and Kansas were listed as options for the California embassy.

In related news, Howard Dean promised to transform the DNC into a sober, calm, disciplined organization if he becomes the new chairman. Asked how he'd accomplish such a task, Dean replied with the most impaired, frantic, chaotic answer possible: "YEEAAAAOOOOOOOOWWWWW!"
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On a somewhat-related note ....

Quote:

Dean Throws 'Blue Meat' to Red State Voters
by Scott Ott

(2005-02-25) -- Democrat National Committee Chairman Howard Dean today launched a tour of states that President George Bush won in November, with planned stops at what he called the "red-state trinity" -- churches, gun shops and Wal-Mart stores.

"The president has done a good job of throwing red meat to conservatives," said Mr. Dean during the first stop on his 'Blue Meat for Red States' tour. "I'm here to show that Democrats can speak this language too."

Mr. Dean first stopped at a gun shop, telling the proprietor, "I need to get me a shootin' iron."

Holding his purchase in the air, he said he was shocked that "an out-of-stater could walk into a gun shop and -- with no background check or waiting period -- buy the most powerful paintball weapon in the place."

He told a baptist church group that his favorite character in the Bible is "Bob the Tomato," but later revised his remarks to acknowledge that the Veggie Tales video series is "not usually included in the canon of Scripture."

The tour was delayed for about an hour in Topeka, KS, as Mr. Dean stood at a Wal-Mart "concierge desk" waiting for the arrival of his "personal shopper."

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actually the Dean Plan involves having the south secede from the union forming their own Confederated States of Anacronism and letting the civililized states get on with life in the modern world.

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Yet more evidence that conservatives aren't funny.

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joefromchicago wrote:

Yet more evidence that conservatives aren't funny.

A fine example of what's wrong with the left. Thanks for playing Joe.

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McGentrix wrote:

joefromchicago wrote:
Yet more evidence that conservatives aren't funny.

A fine example of what's wrong with the left. Thanks for playing Joe.

McG, you've always served as a fine example of what's wrong with the right. Thanks for just being you.

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No problem.

Let me just point out though, I wasn't the one trolling in a thread obviously meant to taunt the left. The title alone was enough of a clue as to the contents. Yet, somehow, Joefromchicago,an intelligent, educated person, felt the need to post "Yet more evidence that conservatives aren't funny."

Way to represent. And thanks.

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McGentrix wrote:

No problem.

Let me just point out though, I wasn't the one trolling in a thread obviously meant to taunt the left. The title alone was enough of a clue as to the contents. Yet, somehow, Joefromchicago,an intelligent, educated person, felt the need to post "Yet more evidence that conservatives aren't funny."

Way to represent. And thanks.

Oh, sorry. Had I known this thread was going to be based solely on the precept that conservatives were rip-roaringly funny, I would have not posted. Perhaps you could post a warning in the thread title or something. Perhaps "CAUTION: Only discussions pertaining to the ridiculously unfunny jokes made in this article will be allowed."

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joefromchicago wrote:

Yet more evidence that conservatives aren't funny.

Evidence that some liberals don't have a sense of humor.

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I don't think that would be neccessary Joe. Most users on A2K are reasonably intelligent. I would never be so bold as to suggest who can and who can't post anywhere.

Just notice though that of the 33,990 registered users on A2K you seem to be the only one that saw fit to post "Yet more evidence that conservatives aren't funny."

Of course that should lead the regular suspects here to also post "Yet more evidence that conservatives aren't funny.", but that's neither here nor there.

I always look forward to your posts Joe, even posts like these.

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McGentrix wrote:

I don't think that would be neccessary Joe. Most users on A2K are reasonably intelligent. I would never be so bold as to suggest who can and who can't post anywhere.

But you did, McG, you did.

McGentrix wrote:

Just notice though that of the 33,990 registered users on A2K you seem to be the only one that saw fit to post "Yet more evidence that conservatives aren't funny."

Can I help it if I'm faster than those 33,989 laggards?

McGentrix wrote:

I always look forward to your posts Joe, even posts like these.

Then we are in agreement. I also look forward to my posts.

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McG - thanks for the brokennewz.com piece Smile

There's some really funny stuff on that site.

Tico - I almost posted that Scrappleface! You beat me to it LOL. I think 2076 is a bit optimistic, but, hey, it gives the Dems something to shoot for. Smile

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Yet more evidence that conservatives aren't funny.

I agree. Plus, your link was hilarious Joe; just don't expect 'em to ever admit hypocrisy.

Cycloptichorn

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joefromchicago wrote:

Yet more evidence that conservatives aren't funny.

You just provided, in this very thread, a fine example of how some conservatives can be quite funny. Unintentionally funny, sure, but funny nontheless. Blatant hypocrisy is hilarious.

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joefromchicago wrote:

Oh, sorry. Had I known this thread was going to be based solely on the precept that conservatives were rip-roaringly funny, I would have not posted. Perhaps you could post a warning in the thread title or something. Perhaps "CAUTION: Only discussions pertaining to the ridiculously unfunny jokes made in this article will be allowed."[/url]

Dear Joe here could augment the Californian wine industry with sour grapes. Joe, whether your nuanced and exalted sense of humor merely failed to get a kick, or you resent any humor being vocalized at the expense of the love/peace/chickengrease/highertaxes/GoUnitedNations/anti-Gitmo/anti-Bush/anti-anti-anti ... (Democratese for I'm still sulking from losing my third national election), you still sound defensive. Perhaps you could share with us some examples of the proper means of being funny? A witty joke or two on the archaic conservatives, or perhaps a rousing limerick on the virtues of liberalism? Very Happy

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Cycloptichorn, VooDoo: I'm glad somebody got the link. It looks like it takes at least a few people around here a while to catch on.

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joefromchicago wrote:

Cycloptichorn, VooDoo: I'm glad somebody got the link. It looks like it takes at least a few people around here a while to catch on.

Aren't you a witty one Joe From Chicago. A link "hidden" in the text of your post, that takes one to a lamely scripted, rant in cartoonish form that spouts more of your line. You astound me. How did you think of it? And more importantly, how could I have missed it?

Joe, a pompous ass can tout affected intellect, but most of the time he will come off sounding like an arrogant donkey, which incidentally, is the same thing ... (lame explanation of punch line - oh, that wasn't needed? You actually got that? Oh, well ... well ... you're a poo poo head. So there).

Laughing

You're a funny one Joe.

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Democrats Unveil Bold Plan To Win Back South By 2076

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