Mon 16 Apr, 2018 02:14 pm
When I hear about a new girl coming to my school, I don't think much about it, she'll probably be like the rest of the girls here. I had no idea that she would change me and truly cause me to fall in love. how awesome she really is. She's not like anybody at my school and doesn't care what people think of her. She's also pansexual. We quickly become friends, and me and my best friend give her a place in our friend group where we all have fun. We've been together a lot these past few days because of a schedule change, and she's a little... intimate when it comes to being together. She'll hold my hand, touch, and do things that aren't normal in a normal friendship which fills me with joy, but also sadness because I know that's just her type of personality, she's not interested in me. It looks to other people we're dating, somebody even asked her if she liked me. She answered with "not in that way." Heart punch. She likes someone else and I know I'm going to turn into the third wheel into whatever relationship she will have with somebody, as usual. I've been a third wheel for different people for a long time. She's the person I've been waiting for, I love her. I want her to be happy, and I will put her happiness above my own if that's what it takes. It's just that my lonely heart is hurting. I'll try to keep the mask on if she does find another and play the third wheel part well.
What should I do,
Make sure our friendship isn't ruined and see if she might start having feelings for me without me telling her about mine?
(That sounded ridiculous, even to me)
Help her get the guy (or any other person) and be the third wheel? (The likely option)
Or tell her my feelings and risk having my heart broken, ruining the way the friendship is now, and ruining what she thinks of me. (Least likely, too risky)
Tell her that you appreciate her friendship, but when she touches your hand a lot, etc, that it confuses you and it makes you feel worse because you know there isn't going to be a relationship between the two of you.
Anyone with a heart will either back off and stop hurting their friend, or will change their tune about liking you (a lot less likely but not impossible). Anyone who keeps doing that when she knows it hurts you is no friend of yours - and you should reassess your feelings if that happens.