Communes For Divorcees

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A few years back, a friend told me that were she to win the lottery, she's buy a large house to provide living quarters for middle aged divorced women, cheated of their houses by their former spouses.

I thought about this. The house would have to be large and well organized, supported by a non-profit corporation, both to conform to laws of the community in which it is sited and to enable the residents to raise moneys for maintenance of said house.

Here in eastern MAss, the cost of domecile is extremely high. A house of sufficient size in the town where I live would cost well over a $1M. But, this fall, a 14 room Victorian was offered in Melrose for just under $800,000. Melrose has a commuter rail link to Boston, which means the residents would be able to commute to the low level secretarial jobs, retail work and museum and library posts that society reserves for displaced homemakers and which do not allow such women to own homes.

I see a sort of highly organized commune. While the ideal situation would be to provide suites within the house, shared bathrooms is closer to reality. Hopefully, two bedrooms, joined by a bath, would be possible.

The first floor should have a large, eat-in kitchen; maybe a dining room and a television room with a hobby room/library and a music room. At least one of these could be in the basement. If there is a third floor or if the property has a suitable barn, then a sort of bunkroom situation can be arranged for occassional stays by college-aged kids. If none of the women still have off-spring that young, then the bunkroom can be used as an emergency housing situation for women just displaced but able to find real housing.

Women would make their own rules. Perhaps, cooking would be pooled, with a person cooking for a period of time or one or two people assuming the cooking duties while another might clean the kitchen.

Considering so many displaced homemakers earn below the poverty level for this state, housing of this kind could be a boon.

What do you think? How hard would the city fathers fight this scheme?

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plainoldme--

Your idea sounds like shelter housing for battered women but on a semi-permanent basis.

As a launching pad, such a shelter would be admirable.

For more permanent residents, I'd suggest buying an apartment building--or a garden apartment complex. This would offer more privacy for family units and more stability for the project.

Living together, particularly with two-generation units, is hard work.

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Noddy -- A garden complex apartment building is a great idea. . . and it would work for families, although my original idea was for women who find themselves alone and barely hanging on.

There is a great garden complex just across the street from the high school where I teach. Being where it is, I can imagine how expensive the whole thing is! And it could use updating: there are windows that are, at their most recent, from the late 40s-early 50s. But, with a bus that goes straight into Harvard Sq and the subway as well as into Porter and rail service; a high school across the street and within the ambit of the best elementary school in town, it would be ideal.

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Women come with families--and families need room.

Limiting your commune to middle-class, aging divorcees deprives your tenants of the chance to learn from the old and to influence the young--or perhaps that's the other way round?

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Uh, I think I know plenty of women of a certain age with no family staying with them, who live at a financial edge.

Whether it is a fine idea to mass the lasses together in a victorian house... oh, the travail...
but in a somewhat freewheeling apartment-like complex, with wee gardens, sure.

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Noddy and OssoBucco -- I was thinking of the over-50 woman whose children are largely grown and who is closed out of the real earnings section of the labor market by society's attitude toward women of a certain age (Not toward men: I am a year younger than both Bill Clinton and George Bush!!!).

Those women have a harder time finding money and, hence lodgings here in Massachusetts, than most (notice I did not say all) younger women who are still actively raising children.

I think the commune thing would work. For one thing, many of my sisters, like me, earn below the federal poverty level ($9,300) and are far from middle class. If I had the means of setting up a foundation, I would purchase such a large house outright and bring the systems up to current useage. With insulation and an efficient furnace, in-house internet and laundry, these women just might be able to share the insurance, taxes and utilities on what they earn. By pooling their resources in the kitchen, they could eat better than the usual poor woman's noodles three times a day system.

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plainoldme--

You have a perspective that we lack.

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Noddy -- I've always been bowled over by your wisdom. I must say that I have elaborated the idea based on the comment of a friend who was forced to give up car ownership for financial reasons. She lives in a condo she bought with the proceeds of her marital homw (beautiful house!) but I know she would rather share living space and have regular transport (the condo is a one-bedroom making sharing difficult).

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Plainoldme--

Cars are nice--but when you add in upkeep and insurance, taxis and rental cars are cheaper.

Limited incomes force hard choices.

Check with your local Agency for Aging about transportation for senior citizens--and when you start being a senior citizen. You might have a pleasant surprise.

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Cars are nice--but when you add in upkeep and insurance, taxis and rental cars are cheaper.

Are you sure about that? Until a year ago, the last taxi ride I took was from Harvard Sq. to my house, a distance of just under 7 miles, cost me $20. Last year, I called for a taxi at my supermarket, about one mile from home because my groceries were too heavy to lug and the temp was slightly above zero, and the tab was $10.

Without a major credit card, a person can not rent a car.

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I estimate that running a paid-for car costs between $200 and $250 a month: gas, insurance and necessary repairs.

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Noddy -- I agree with you on that, but, the one time I rented a car, to take my daughter back to college her senior year (on then boyfriend's crredit card), I believe the cost was close to $300.

I have been without a car for 27 days. I work two jobs, over a six day period. One job is 3.8 miles from home and I have walked to work. Without snow, the walk takes 1 hour and 10 minutes. Forced to use the bus because of the enormous amounts of snow, the distance takes longer to breach and the trek begins with a 1 and 1/2 mile walk to the bus stop and ends with a half mile walk to the high school from the final stop.

I take the same bus to my other job, in retail. For the second job, I just take the bus in the other direction, so I still walk 1 and 1/2 miles to the stop.

The bus runs once an hour, except during the morning rush when it runs every 20 minutes. My retail job is almost 7 miles from my home and, since the store is open until 10 pm and the closing procedure takes another hour, unless a fellow worker is going my way, I can not work the late shift as the last bus passes by the Mall at 9 pm.

It would be nice if I had a job(s) that I could reach by commuter rail: the station is a half mile from home. In fact, I pass the station on my way to the bus. However, I'm lucky to have the jobs that I do: in 2004, I actually earned above the federal poverty level!

Unless you have short walks to reliable transportation, a car is a necessity. And I am someone whose wish is to live a year without a car!

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plainoldme--

Agreed, the lack of reliable, inexpensive public transportation is disgraceful.

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Noddy -- I know the huge snowstorm created lots of shovelling problems, but the bus stops haven't been shovelled out. You have to stand in the street to catch certain buses.

I was thinking that instead of just a bus stop sign, the stops could also have a copy of the time tables for the buses on that route in a little sort of kiosk attached to the post. There is just such a thing at the commuter rail station. One at the bus stop would be welcome.

I also think that the same technology that allows people to pass through toll booths and have the amount deducted from their checking accounts monthly could be used to let passengars know that the 3:20 bus has already gone by this stop so that they know the next bus won't be there until 3:50.

BTW, I read that the opera composer Verdi established a home for down on their luck musicians. There's a large sitting room with what is described as "an exquisitely tuned piano" and suites for all the residents. Sounds like an upscale version of my commune. Verdi was refused admission to the academy on the grounds that he wasn't adequately prepared. This residence was his way of helping other musicians.

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plainoldme--

You have been thinking about solving the Problems of Public Transportation. If only the automobile lobby weren't so very powerful.

Very odd that digging out bus stops doesn't have second priority--after digging out fire hydrants and storm drains.

I know there are a number of homes for past-their-prime actors who haven't provided for their own old ages. Johnny Weismuller enlivened his Senior Citizen housemates by reliving his days as Tarzan and coming out in the wee hours of the morning with the Victory Cry of the Wild Bull Ape.

At least we're more than halfway through the winter. Five weeks to go.

Hold your dominion.

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I am not unsympathetic to your aims, pom, and agree there could be much more inventiveness in this direction, indeed there needs to be.

But, I gotta say, Commune for Divorcees also could be a movie title for a comedy. And, we need you to write it. Go for it..........

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My former husband's step-father's brother (how's that for seven degrees of separation?) was a Broadway actor. He remained an actor all of his life. Apparently, Actors Equity has a lot of funds that are never distributed because actors tend to either become stars or go back to Iowa to sell insurance.

But, without a pension, life can be tough. Several very well known and well loved folk singers have had to rely on friends raising money for their illnesses through benefit concerts.

Taking care of oneself in later years isn't easy.

Osso -- A thread on real life stories that would make good novels/scripts may be fun.

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Communes for Divorcees
A communal type of living situation is exactly what I want to find. Personally, I am 51 and totally alone after raising my kids. I want to relocate to someplace more affordable, sociable and within a reasonable distance to services people our age (let's face it). Has anyone done this successfully? I would love to hear about it.

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elaines -- A lot of women are interested in just such a situation. There is a town near me where the real estate is less expensive than most of suburban Boston's because the schools are not very good. However, there are several supermarkets close by, a commuter rail station and a hospital. Sounds like a good sort of place for older women.

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Communes For Divorcees

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