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Feel like I'm going crazy, is he telling the truth about the whole situation or is it a cover-up?

 
 
Reply Thu 19 Oct, 2017 08:31 pm
So me and this guy have been involved ever since we started university a month ago. We had seen each other every single day since and he had acted like he really likes me alot. Just a few examples, he would constantly be kissing and cuddling me, always saying he really likes me, he had made plans for us in the future eg going to disneyland, saying i need to visit him back home, he even called himself my boyfriend by accident then got embarrassed, he would get jealous of guys with me, told his parents about me, we had a really deep moment a week ago where he said he could imagine us being together and showed me him telling his mates hes gonna see how it goes. All in all, he acted like he really liked me, we would always watch movies. Also, last week he got very drunk and i had to look after him, he kept saying how much he loves me and facetimed his mum to say im looking after him, he also texted her the next day saying i looked after him and was lke im getting you in the good books. At the beginning he said he didnt want a relationship as he has recently gotten out of a serious 2 year one but he hadnt said it recently and really acted like he was into me saying all this stuff like the boyfriend thing etc. On monday we spent all day together he was cuddley and kissy etc but then suddenly the next day it was like it had all changed. He came to see me today and told me that he just wants to be friends without the sex (btw we've only had sex like 3 times, i would want it more but we just wouldnt have it). He said he only saw us as friends the whole time and when i questioned him about it saying like why did u say u liked me and asked me to go for a meal with him etc and he was like because i do like u as a friend and would still go for a meal with u now as a friend. When I brought up the kissing and stuff he said he just felt like he wanted to then and now he doesnt want to hug and kiss me. When I mentioned him saying he could see up together he said he did in that moment as we got really deep with each other and at the time he wanted to but then he said there are things he thought he could get over but couldnt, eg one time when i went out i had a drag of a cigarette, and he said he could never be with someone who had ever touched a cigarette. I kinda played it off to him that it's fine but i'm just a bit like wth as he didn't act like we're just friends and he just apologised. I agreed to be friends as we still live in the same flat and are on the same course. A weird thing I noticed aswell is when he took his coat off after our convo he had massive sweat patches so I said like what have you done to be sweating so much and he said he was too nervous to take his coat off. Also just before he left he asked if he could have a hug and I said no I don't want you to get sweat on me(as an excuse). It's so strange as how he acted is not it at all what he's saying and everyone says it around me whos seen us together, everyone thought he really likes me and we'd be together, all his friends called me his wifey and his best mate came up to me and told me to trust him and his feelings are genuine. We still have to be friends as we are lab partners and i dont mind as i do like his as a person and when our convo finished we were just talking like normal. I really need some help getting my head around this, is he telling the truth or is it just an excuse? Never been more confused in my life
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Type: Question • Score: 2 • Views: 1,256 • Replies: 8
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glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Thu 19 Oct, 2017 09:34 pm
@zredbird,
I'm thinking this guy needs to be jettisoned. You're too young to get caught up in drama.
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Thu 19 Oct, 2017 10:08 pm
@zredbird,
Sounds like he feels like things went too far too fast and he's trying to at the very least slow things down. Sensible guy.

A month is too soon to be making plans and he may have realized that.

Try to relax. Date other guys. Go out with friends. Stay on friendly terms with the guy if you can manage it.

Whether with this guy or another, try not to do the every day thing right away. The over-exposure can be a real killer for a potential new relationship.
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Oct, 2017 07:17 am
He's very needy. Can you see that?

Everything is on his terms. He's not healthy to be around.

Make plsns to Move; get another lab partner asap.

This is only going to get worse for you in the future.
zredbird
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Oct, 2017 09:57 am
@PUNKEY,
yeah i'm not fussed, we're good and get on well but I'm just confused as to why he's saying he never felt anything for me when he clearly did in the way he acted and suddenly changed over night
0 Replies
 
zredbird
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Oct, 2017 09:58 am
@ehBeth,
yeah it's just different because he's a few doors down to me so it's so easy to just see each other all the time but i know that was a mistake now, I am fine with being friends with him it just was a bit of a punch in the face him saying he never felt anything for me etc so thats the bit confusing me
zredbird
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Oct, 2017 10:01 am
@glitterbag,
Yeah its so strange he just changed his mind completely overnight! The night before he was hugging and kissing me saying how much he likes me
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Oct, 2017 10:49 am
@zredbird,
He likely did feel something but it freaked him out and he realized he was getting involved too fast.

It's a lesson for both of you.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Oct, 2017 11:45 am
And then there's the cigarette thing.

That's a deal breaker for me. Absolutely would never date a guy who smikes
0 Replies
 
 

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