Liar liar pants are on fire

Well, ya gotta lie about the little things from time to time, just to keep your hand in the game.

Huckleberry Finn said that, by the way.

Hi boomerang...I would like to hear some answers on this subject too.

I think it's normal. My older one has learned to do it, but doesn't try it anymore. I just would point it out and say, 'you know that's not really true', or 'that's not what I saw' or something to that effect. I saw it as a sort of testing things out phase. I did explain to him once that if he tells me lies often enough then I won't believe him when he is telling the truth. But he's a pensive child and I'm not sure that will work on my daughter when she starts testing the waters.

Mo is a boy. He will grow to be a man. He is merely learning to occasionally lie about nothing, for no reason and with no benefit to him. This is just to stay in practice. It's a man skill he needs to develop....

Man lie = I wasn't out drinking with the boys

Woman lie = It's your baby...

. . . bacause women persist in asking questions.

Bear, you just destroyed the continuity of my post, you know that?

sorry dude, who knew?

Ain't even going to lie about it, are you?

Who's Mo? Sounds like an offspring so I'll say time for a serious talk. Pick a time when there are going to be no distractions. Let Mo know lying can be habit forming to accept no responsibility for actions. This if it becomes habitual will lead to no one friends or family believing anything said. Not a good thing.

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a lot of explanations. Author: Saki

don't need the practice :wink:

What a wonderful collection of both wise and funny (and probably truthful) answers! The wit and wisdom of A2Kers is a thing to behold. Thank you all.

FreeDuck, that is kind of the approach I've been taking so at least I know I'm in good company!

How old is your child? (Mo is nearing four years.)

I wonder if it might not have a little to do with privacy issues as he seems to be wanting a bit more privacy these days too.

I know, bobsmythhawk! I don't want him to be a liar and I have talked to him about this.

For example, one of the times he lies is when I ask "Did you give your sandwich (or whatever) to the dogs?" and he will say that he ate it himself even though I can see the dogs eating the sandwich.

I explain to him that a lot of the foods we like are really bad for the dogs to eat and he whole heartedly agrees -- then he feeds his sandwich to the dogs.

My little one turns 5 next month, so he was probably about Mo's age when the lying started. At first it seemed like a natural progression from make believe -- he is very much an imaginitive player. But then it started to look like he was just doing it to see how much was okay.

As I recall it took some time of consistently calling attention to his untruths before he completely got the message. Not that I don't think he will ever lie to me again, just that he will probably save his lies for the really important times.

I agree.

I had a little liar in the house for a while... the male offspring (what a surprise!). Once I gave him a taste of his own medicine. Nothing I said for a day or two could be counted on to be true. Suddenly, the reality of why one tells the truth began to dawn on the litte guy. I can't say that he always told the truth after that, but he had some realization that there was an importance in telling the truth and why it was always one of the three great rules of our house.

I was quick to point out how honesty pays and lying doesn't, too... in our household and in any other situation. I am also able to find out lies pretty quickly. I've always let my kids know that I have that "mystical" Mom ability to know and/or find out what really happened AND I'll be especially pissed if a lie has been told.

They still lie occasionally, and as far as I know I always find out eventually. I don't get mad... I just tell them how disappointed I am and how stupid it is to lie. <sigh>

Many people a lot older than four years old have the misguided notion that "saying something will make it so". Wistful Thinking Syndrome.

My take is that Mo isn't denying Dog Eating Sandwich--he's set up a plausible world (plausible to him) in which he ate the sandwich--no fuss, no mess, no bother.

From his immature point of view, he isn't lying--just presenting a view of a much happier reality.

He may also be trying to forestall a lecture.

An invaluable tag line for Mothers Everywhere (when you've reached to the point that repeating yourself on ethical issues has started to bore you) is:

"What am I going to say?"


Not only do you save your breath--just in case you have a lot of porridge to cool--Mo is forced to examine his fantasy through your perspective.


Isn't this going to be an Interesting Winter at your house? Some people pay college tuition to study the relationships between appearance and reality.

I remember lying, or making false excuses, until I was about twenty. Not often, but I remember doing it. To the extent I can remember, it had to do with some kind of privacy and control, and, perhaps, that people would like me more with the lie. I think I just got weary of a false front when I got to working after school and weekends, and started really meeting people.. most of whom seemed to just come out and say what they thought. One particular boyfriend was both thoughtful and straightforward and I thought that was a good way to be.

I did have a work friend later, quite a brilliant guy, who lied on purpose - and not particularly to me - over such things as birthday date, where he went... so that people wouldn't really know him.

But for a four year old, it seems to me a normal passage..

Piffka, how old was your son when you had this problem? It sounds like you handled it very well. I remember falling under that mom-radar; they really had some kind of grapevine to make sure nobody got away with anything!

Noddy, one of the things I've been grappling with is whether this is really a lie or not - it really doesn't seem like a lie, especially when he is such a tattle-tale on himself when he does do something bad. Your thoughts really sum up the distinction!

"What am I going to say?" is a great line that I'm sure I'll be using!

I'll work on how to adapt that for his other big lying occurance -- saying he doing "Nothing" when clearly he is trying to get away with something (like giving himself a lovely little haircut with his little kid scissors the other day when he knows that the rule is that they can be used only on paper).

Osso! I had a friend who once lied about his birthday. Every year now on that lied about date I send him something kind of Pinnochio related.

It seems that it could be very normal for a four year old. It is interesting that you mention it as a privacy issue as I do feel that has something to do with my current situation.

Sorry, Boomerang, I can't remember exactly when the lying started -- it was before kindergarten.

Funny about your friend... Pinnochio... world's best known liar!