Fri 6 Oct, 2017 10:42 pm
So tonight we got in a yelling match about him hanging up on me because I didn't go to the store on the way home. I was so mad that is so immature, long storey short when I finally did get home we yelled some more and he called me crazy and asked if I had remembered my Med's today (referring to my depression medication) and I repeatedly called him a jerk and an emotionless monster. We used to argue like this once a week, even when we were first married, but now not so much because I try to avoid it. Was I wrong to get even angrier when he told me that and I lashed back? We have been married 10 years next April and I thought things would be better by now but he still doesn't ever want to have sex and I do but he almost always says no, and I still expect him to be sensitive to me but he is not and he still expects me to be fine with that. We have no kids of our own and only my step son every other weekend.
So in a nut shell I am passionate, need physical touch, emotional, enjoy family and friends, teasing, moody, sensitive, caring, too nice, short temper, sharp tongue, stubborn and protective.
Him in a nut shell: absolutely hates to be touched, not interested in sex, stable, unchanging, steady, controlled, self sufficient, reliable, mostly unemotional, stubborn, smart, grumpy and anti social.
Will we ever be okay? Are we even suited for each other? Or do I have a future of no kids, put downs and trapped bitter emotions combined with sexual frustration in the coming years? And a future of hateful words, intense emotions, and long talks where he feels I try to blame him for everything in his future?
Anyone in a similar situation? Anyone with helpful advice?
If it's been only a few minutes since your fight, tell your husband you're open to any questions or hearing about lingering frustrations after he's had time to think. If he wants to revisit the issue after a few days, though, don't turn your back on him.
Did you ever try marriage counseling?
It sounds like you have thought about this very thoroughly. He is emotionally unavailable to you. That probably has a lot to do with your depression.
Unless he gets some help, No, things are not going to get better.
Sounds like you are not afraid to face the future without him. That says something about you!