Holy Cow Tico...one of the funniest posts I've ever read here. And written with real finesse I might add. I'm not worthy.
Let me state for the record that I am not the original author of that story, although I'm responsible for some modifications. While I've no idea if its a true story or not, I think its more humorous when you read it initially that you think it real.
And I'm afraid I must plead the 5th as your question, shewolf. Kicky is about, and he has rusty implements.
Ticomaya wrote:Let me state for the record that I am not the original author of that story, although I'm responsible for some modifications. While I've no idea if its a true story or not, I think its more humorous when you read it initially that you think it real.
And I'm afraid I must plead the 5th as your question, shewolf. Kicky is about, and he has rusty implements.
Dont worry , I will protect you from him.
And yes, you are right, it is funnier when you think it is real. THOUGH, it is completely possible. ;-)
Ticomaya wrote:Let me state for the record that I am not the original author of that story, although I'm responsible for some modifications. While I've no idea if its a true story or not, I think its more humorous when you read it initially that you think it real.
And I'm afraid I must plead the 5th as your question, shewolf. Kicky is about, and he has rusty implements.
Dern. You sure had me going. And I was just about to tell the story of the time my sister took a **** in a footbath by mistake. Think I'll keep that one to myself.
Me too Duck...I had one about The Move on the Turnpike...I think I'll just shelve it.
You had me going, great story none the less. It ranks up there with the barf o rama from Stand By Me.
I just quickly perused this thread and while I have nothing to add, the thread did give me an inspirational burst. You see, for quite some time I have been toying with the idea of writing a detective series but could never come up with the lead character's name. All the good ones were taken.
But now I can start the series. Watch your bookstores for "The Adventures of Detective Butt Pimple"
gustavratzenhofer wrote:I just quickly perused this thread and while I have nothing to add, the thread did give me an inspirational burst. You see, for quite some time I have been toying with the idea of writing a detective series but could never come up with the lead character's name. All the good ones were taken.
But now I can start the series. Watch your bookstores for "The Adventures of Detective Butt Pimple"
Sounds good...you ought to be able to squeeze a few bucks out of it......
i wish i had a truly moving bodily function story.
but.. alas.. mine are few and far between. Uneventful but full of aroma.
Don't you just love it when you take that perfect crap?
You know, when it just slides right out smoothly and comfortably--you smile as it drops into the bowl with a satisfying splash--one big, solid, dark nugget, ejected so cleanly that you almost don't even need to wipe? You do, however, give yourself the first mandatory wipe with a balled up wad of toilet paper, and you look at it, and your mouth drops open in awe. It's clean. There is absolutely no fecal sludge at all on the paper...and you look up to the heavens and shake that clean toilet paper wad in the air triumphantly, and as tears of gratitude and joy fall from your eyes, you scream, "Thank you Lord! Thank you!"
I love it when that happens.
Kicky, you forgot to mention the obligatory glance into the bowl to appreciate your handiwork. Rarely does the sculpture live up to one's mental image, but there is the occasional expulsion that satisfies even the most jaded of defecators.
i love the feeling you get when you work really hard at taking a dump and it FINALLY starts to squeak out.
barely seperating your butt cheeks
it blinks at the whiteness of the toilet bowl
hesitates
then falls.
all endorphines race through your system.
Your face flushes
Your butt relaxes
and a huge weight is lifted off your shoulders
and all you can do.
is sigh....
Ticomaya,
You are correct, sir. That is quite a moment. And if you get a good floater, that is like...I can't even describe the pride I feel at that moment.
I should call this thread
Ode' to ****
I personally like the one that goes into the hole at the bottom of the bowl AND sticks out of the water...the two footer...in one perfect piece....your pants fit better after....
You know what else is great? When you feel it coming out and you're like, oh that is a beauty, and you just know it is a monster, and you turn around and it stretches all the way across the bowl, and it's still in one piece! It is quite possibly the purest moment of true pride in anyone's life.
