Child visitation

What a great dad! I like to say that first I am so glad she has such a level headed dad.

It seems a good distance for a 4 year old to get to Oklahoma. How would she get there? You could say just like you did here - it is really unrealistic for her to visit you in OK. I have no way of getting her there and she is too young (obviously) to travel by herself. Quite honestly I agree - that I wouldn't want her to be with her for long periods of time. If she says something along the lines she would come get her and she can stay with me the entire summer - then I suggest like you said her - about her school/day care situation and how well she is getting along. Another thing is - if you take her out of the school you would still have to pay the school or otherwise lose her spot - there is no guarantee she will have a spot later on. All those things are true and work in your favor.

The one thing being so difficult for her to get there is a good reason to not have her stay with her mom. Could she come to PA to visit? Does she have family near you? That might be a good compromise and limit the time. I understand that young kids can have difficulty with changes in routine. But if her mom were to visit for say a week -- then it shouldn't hurt her too bad. And if she were local she could still stay with you and visit her mom.

Also another suggested to stay in touch - set up Skype and have her talk with her mom that way maybe a few times a week.

You indicate that you have parental rights, I assume that means you have been granted full custody through court? If so, the court should have also outlined a standard visitation schedule and if that is the case, that is what you should follow.

If legal custody has not been established through court, it should be so things like this aren't an issue.

The mother is from Oklahoma and I am from Pennsylvania. We met in college and went to court in Pennsylvania. The judge said if she chose to leave and move back to Oklahoma then she would lose all parental rights and everything from that point on would be up to me. She moved back to Oklahoma in November of this year and her mother flew here to Pennsylvania flew back to Oklahoma and I will be flying out to pick her up next weekend. This is the first time she is seeing her mother other than FaceTime and she went for a week the day after Christmas. It took a day to get her back into her normal schedule without too much hassle but when arriving to Oklahoma this time it took her about a week to not throw fits over simple things and has been the normal happy girl she is since. It'll be a 6 week trip that kills me because I miss her but if these trips are beneficial for my daughters life then I will do what's right but that's my debate. Her mother is willing to pay for the flights and the learning center she goes to allows her spot to be saved and doesn't charge me any extra. Mother's family lives in Oklahoma and all of my family live in Pennsylvania

Really appreciate the thoughts