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Fri 19 Nov, 2004 09:02 pm
Bwaaahahahahahah!
Blue Parents on Red Kid Alert
Friday, November 19, 2004
By Joanne Jacobs
December 19, 2003
Iowahawk reports on the latest way for blue-state adolescents to rebel: They're going "Dollywood" in Palo Alto, Calif., he writes. Satirically.
The story starts with Rain, who insists his mothers call him Bobby Ray.
She opens the door to a reveal a riot of George Jones CDs, reflective 'mudflap mama' stickers, empty foil packs of Red Man, and U.S. Marine recruiting posters. In the middle of the room: a makeshift table made from a utility cable spool, bearing a the remains of a gutted catfish.
"This used to be all Ikea," she says, rocking on heels between heaved sobs.
"It's too late for us. Maybe it's not to late for me to warn others."
"Cracker" culture is spreading across blue America like trucker hats, the story warns.
"It was one day last spring," says Ellen McCormack. "My life partner Carol and I were in the garage, working on a giant Donald Rumsfeld papier-mache head for the Bay Area March Against the War, when Rain walked by. I thought he looked kind of strange, so I stopped him and looked closely into his eyes. Then I realized the truth -- he was wearing a mullet. I was shocked, but he swore to me that it was only ironic."
"After a few months, it was clear Rain had lied to us -- that hideous Kentucky waterfall was completely earnest," she adds, choking back sobs.
Her 18-year old son would soon exhibit other signs of disturbing changes.
"I was driving past a McDonalds one day last summer, and I thought I saw Rain's bike outside. He had told me earlier that he was going to a friend's house to stuff envelopes for the Dennis Kucinich campaign. I pulled a U-turn and headed back," she recalls. "When I confronted him in the parking lot, he started giving me a lame story about how he was only there to protest globalization, but I could smell the french fries on his breath."
It starts with french fries and pork rinds. It ends with bass fishing and stock car races.
"I was shocked, but he swore to me that it was only ironic"
That phrase is hilarious.
could you be anymore condosending . I'll give you an idea of what the youth is thinking . they are thinking that all the peace love and harmany **** was really just a way for hippies to rebell against their parents , and now your trying to validate your youth by pretending the changes your genaration pushed for worked , take a look around , it didn't turn out all that well for the younger genarations you've left us with a mess , and we want to get as far way as possible from what you stood for. btw not everyone in the RED states are stupid hicks , and it's the arrogance of people like you that made a lot of us vote for bush . how dare you put down most of the country for simply not choosing to live where you do. I guess the "tollorance" you preach only applies to people who live like you .
Yeehaaaw, that story is a knee-slapper!
btw , it's not a good i dea to make fun of people that have as many guns as us Red state folks.
that was a joke not threat
Funny! thanks chjsa.
Kflux, you need to get a sense of humour.
kflux wrote:could you be anymore condosending . I'll give you an idea of what the youth is thinking . they are thinking that all the peace love and harmany **** was really just a way for hippies to rebell against their parents , and now your trying to validate your youth by pretending the changes your genaration pushed for worked , take a look around , it didn't turn out all that well for the younger genarations you've left us with a mess , and we want to get as far way as possible from what you stood for. btw not everyone in the RED states are stupid hicks , and it's the arrogance of people like you that made a lot of us vote for bush . how dare you put down most of the country for simply not choosing to live where you do. I guess the "tollorance" you preach only applies to people who live like you .
speaking of irony.......spell check this post......
Well speaking of one who has trouble spelling, I can tell you that the spell checker is not very helpful. It is better to use a word program but then that is a lot of work. Sometimes I bother sometimes I just go ahead and take a risk of having my spelling and grammar errors pointed out. So far that has not happened to too much.
But that was a funny post. It sort of reminds of this show on BBC, "absolutely fabulous."
revel wrote:Well speaking of one who has trouble spelling, I can tell you that the spell checker is not very helpful. It is better to use a word program but then that is a lot of work. Sometimes I bother sometimes I just go ahead and take a risk of having my spelling and grammar errors pointed out. So far that has not happened to too much.
But that was a funny post. It sort of reminds of this show on BBC, "absolutely fabulous."
Revel - we all (well, almost all) make spelling and grammatical mistakes on occasion. You're right that most on this board aren't (thankfully) quick to criticize in this area. To those that occasionally do, just remember that it says more about them and their intolerance of others than about the person making the error.
Oh for Gods' sake lighten up.....perhaps a high colonic?
the spelling was supposed to be a joke too , i guess my sense of humor could use a bit of tweaking
Butt LIK mark twain sed " I don't give a damb for a man who can spell a word only one way"
For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g
j" anomali wonse and for all.
Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli.
Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud
hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.
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