Just a thought:
Here are a couple of ideas on how to deal with the world. (2002)
On the issue of Isreali-Palestinian conflict - Give the Palestinians one defective nuke. Then when they use it on the Isrealis it would detonate at minimum power and give said allies excuse to Hiroshimize them.
On Osama bin Laden and company - Contrive convincing photographic and video "evidence" of individual in compromizing interaction with various pastoral creatures, (sheep, dog or two, camel). Leak "evidence" to Al Jazeera and then prepare to smoke the jackass once he surfaces to defend his "good" name.
On attack on Iraq - Forget about it, but covertly task the CIA to "make available", through deceitful means, package of new drug "sextasy" (exstasy and viagra mix) to Saddam Hussein, then sit back and hope he does something inconceivably stupid on sextastic high that may provide proper excuse, oh sorry grounds, for mass land, air and internet invasion. At the very least there's something to joke about. (Old, I know, this idea was obviously not included in the National Security Estimate. Pity.)
On tax cuts - Do not enact them, (after all "everyone" can see that they are detrimental to the economy). However, as a moral boost to encourage Americans eliminate all taxes on special operations members of the armed forces, (tongue way in cheek).
On homeland security/revenue multiplication - Allow FBI unlimited freedom in invasions of privacy. Taps of all kinds, along with satellite surrveilance and definitely webcams could be employed to track and monitor suspicious individuals. Should risque video images of a scantily-clad Jennifer Love Hewitt appear and be sold on internet for booku amounts of money, apologize for "administrative fiascos" and offer to "donate" proceeds to Social Security.
On United Nations - Develop private members-only committee named "Countries That Actually Matter". Membership on this important committee would be fluid, depending on how much country in question is needed at specific moment. Suggest to fracticious Security Council that most military and pissing-contest issues would now be routed through said committee. (Suggested membership - United States, Britain, selected and agreeable representitives from other actually mattering countries). First act should possibly be the marching into Paris as payback for snottiness.
On immigration - Establish firm quota of individuals from each country and ban all others on threat of confiscation of all meager goods. Make sure that quota entering mainly consists of scientists, classic chefs, doctors, and all available beautiful young single and looking women.
On gay marriage - Allow it, by god. Gay marriage, or better yet civil unions, approval in all states. Gayness must be emphasized in colleges around America to alleviate surplus of conflicted individuals (e.g. governors of NJ, Ann Heche, certain people in France, etc ... oh, strike that last). Ensuing increase of young, single women, may result in a slight growth of the younger population, assisting in providing greater numbers of elligible workers to offset babyboomer retirements. (2004)
If anyone else thinks of similar constructive ways to improve life, please post and share with us. When enough of these revolutionary concepts are compiled they may be rewritten into elaborate petition full of ornate language and sent to all congressional representatives and senators. Thank you very much for any help with this movement.
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