Was this actually rape or am I crazy?

Yes, what you are describing is rape. You clearly said "No". He proceeded anyway. That meets the legal definition of rape.

You should talk to someone. If you are in the US, you can talk to a local rape counseling center. They will take what happened to you seriously and talk about your legal options as well as point you to counseling resources.

Okay, Thank you. I have been wondering since it happened if I was crazy or not. I didnt believe it. Thank you.

I also have a similar question. We are living in a society that seems to have become, dare I say, overly obsessed with talking about rape and rape culture, and I speak as a 40 year old feminist woman. According to current definitions I have been sexually assaulted twice and raped twice. The sexual assaults (one digital, one oral, both violent) I of course would have labelled as being forced at the time, but I was 15 and 16 and saw it as one of the bumps along the growing-up road. One was with a stranger in a nightclub and one was with a guy I had just started dating. I felt violated and hurt for a while but I swear the effects only lasted for a couple of weeks and I haven't paid much thought to them since. I love sex.

The first so called "rape" was at university when I was dragged (or pulled by the hand at least) into bushes along a canal by a guy I'd been kissing passionately at one of those 50p a shot student nights. I was so out of it that I didn't try to push him off or say no but I definitely didn't want it to be happening. I felt violated and quiet for about two weeks then got over it. I didn't think it was rape because I didn't say no or struggle, but I was semi-comatose.

The second was when I was at an after party in someone's hotel room, sleeping on the sofa while a couple was in the bedroom. One of their friends came in late and got on the sofa and forced himself on me. Now this is the really weird bit that I would never say unless anonymous.. I said no a number of times and physically tried to push him off me, but once he'd started my body /hormones responded and I actually willingly went along with it. Afterwards - again - I felt violated. But I've always wondered how that works or is seen? This is something I've never heard anyone admitting to. Has anyone ever had a physical sexual response to enforced, non-consensual sex and then started actively participating? Confused... Personally I think we need to start getting honest about the different levels and blurred lines surrounding rape. Would love the views of feminists as well as others.

Both of these also meet the definition of rape. I am a bit suspicious of your wording. You are describing real rape, not "so-called" rape.

I know this might seem really un-feminist of me but I do feel like the definition of rape has changed in my lifetime, and also the hysteria about it. Calling people "rape survivors" and describing themselves as being changed forever by it. Yes it's nasty but what I experienced was poles apart from being violently assaulted and screaming for help throughout. I have absolute sympathy for that, but why should we use the same word for that and my experiences? I'm genuinely interested in your views, not deliberately being controversial

I am not comfortable debating this in a thread that was started by a survivor of rape to get advice.

If you would like to start another thread, and word it as an abstract discussion, I might be inclined to participate.

I am sincerely sorry if I have caused offence. Please accept my apologies and I do hope the original poster of this thread has got help and is on the road to recovery.

Technically, yeah it's rape. Will anything happen to him, probably not. I'm a sex worker and like the cops tell us, if you put yourself in a bad position, it's on you. I've been beat up, held down, gang raped, threatened, all sorts of things. Cops just say, oh, sounds like a bad day at work and leave.

The OP could very well be leaving out key information in her story. Many women don't like to admit that they willing engaged in sex, and then regretted it later, only framing it as "rape" in hindsight from a mindset that now realizes how irresponsible they had acted.

Not saying that's for sure the case, but it shouldn't be ruled out yet based on the information given here.

That's rape, because you felt that way! I've seen hate crimes up Close and also discrimination against women. You should report it to the police and be careful next time. I once saw a latino woman in the subway with syfilis! This has to stop!!!!!!! BOOOO!