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Why would he confide in me?

 
 
Reply Fri 21 Apr, 2017 06:58 am
So this guy I like from my school and I have recently become what I would call 'close acquaintances.'


He started sitting closer to my side and we chatted a bit but always in the context of school work. We even study together with our other friends but after that we don't really talk much/text outside so I don't know his on a friendship level.



I mean sometimes I pick up on signs that he might be interested but he’s a really private person and keeps to himself mostly so I was never really sure. At first I thought he was a player because his friend joked about him texting many girls but he really doesn’t give off that vibe.



Recently however, he started texting me his grief over a family situation he’s going through. I’d like to consider myself a nice and approachable person you could tell these things to but we really aren’t close like that. Why would a boy open up about these things. Does he just need all the comfort he can get or does he view me as something more…?
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Type: Question • Score: 0 • Views: 1,264 • Replies: 5
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Ragman
 
  2  
Reply Fri 21 Apr, 2017 07:19 am
@fluffybun ,
He's the only one that can answer that question accurately. Are you interested in him? Or are you just curious about his behavior?

If you are interested, then while you're in-person (not text) talk with him, engage him and offer your support. Show interest in having broader in-person discussions by taking an active role and direct your conversations to include other topics.

Help these talks to progress to other casual topics beyond school and grief support. Ask him more about his career goals, family, activities, hobbies, music, etc. Why not ask him to have a beverage/coffee/adult beverage? It's not like your asking him on a date. Let him know that you want to get to know him better....as a friend (to start). Help him out as he may not know that you're interested.

Good luck. Let us know how it turns out.
fluffybun
 
  1  
Reply Fri 21 Apr, 2017 08:03 am
@Ragman,
Thanks so much for your input.
I actually have been really interested in this guy - sometimes I picked up on signs that he might have been interested - the way he would talk softly with me and lean into my personal space, he'd do favours I asked of him without complaining etc.

But then again I was never completely sure because he's so private for all I know he could be having flings outside plus I don't know much if anything about him and vice versa. This added to the fact that my previous attempts to text him if was kinda cut and dry.

Now there's this sudden barrage of emotions he's texting me about. I mean, I am the unofficial leader of our study group but there are other guy members I think he's closer to so why would he confide in someone like me who's barely a friend (plus we haven't know each other that long)?

I know not all guys respond the same but generally what does this mean? Is this a sign of friendzone or something else?
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Fri 21 Apr, 2017 08:07 am
@fluffybun ,
fluffybun wrote:
why would he confide in someone like me who's barely a friend


sometimes it is easier to talk about difficult things with people who aren't part of your life - that's one of the reasons professional counselling works

__

1. don't take on the role of a counsellor - if he needs help/grief support, he does need to seek out professional help

2. if you are interested in him - ask him out.
fluffybun
 
  1  
Reply Fri 21 Apr, 2017 08:59 am
@ehBeth,
I realised I might have exaggerated the situation.
It's not that he needs professional help or anything - he was simply conveying his feelings about his loved one and how close he is to them and how stressed he is bc we have finals coming up.

I just found it strange given that he's a seemingly very private person yet chose to share this type of information with me.
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Fri 21 Apr, 2017 09:04 am
@fluffybun ,
Again, it is often easier to reveal things to strangers/people not in one's inner circle. It is difficult to reveal weakness to people we are close to.

__

If you are interested in him - ask him out.
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