2
   

Ratzenhofer's analysis of the election.

 
 
Reply Wed 3 Nov, 2004 08:16 am
Karl Rove orchestrated a brilliant plan by preying on the weak-minded and the ultra-religious. He knew he could play the terror card and get a substantial amount of votes that way, but he sensed it would still be too close so he threw in the homosexual card. The mindless, gutless voters now had two things to fear -- the terrorists and the homosexual. It was too much. They raced to the polls and with trembling hands voted for Bush.

Rove is already working on his plan for the next election. As Dubya prepares to exit the office and turn the reins over to his brother, he'll call a press conference. It will sound like this...

My fellow Americans, we are in grave danger. Our satellite photos have picked up images of legions of homosexual terrorists with dynamite strapped to their chests, assembling on the Syrian border. They are strapping on motorized hangliders and preparing for an American invasion. Soon our skies will be darkened by hundreds of thousands of these apocalyptic vultures. At all costs we must keep America safe. Vote Republican. It is our only hope.


And thousands of dim-witted, god-fearing voters will scramble, once again to the booths and cast their vote to save America. Then they'll return to their jobs at Home Depot and Burger King and carry on their assigned duties with a smile on their faces. Their patriotic duty has been done.
  • Topic Stats
  • Top Replies
  • Link to this Topic
Type: Discussion • Score: 2 • Views: 1,996 • Replies: 24
No top replies

 
panzade
 
  1  
Reply Wed 3 Nov, 2004 08:19 am
Gus, I'd laugh at your post but the tears keep getting in the way.
0 Replies
 
paulaj
 
  1  
Reply Wed 3 Nov, 2004 08:54 am
Gustafeelingmorose

Four years will fly by. There are worse thing's that could happen, look at PAN, he's a Black Hole!
0 Replies
 
littlek
 
  1  
Reply Wed 3 Nov, 2004 08:56 am
sigh.
0 Replies
 
colorbook
 
  1  
Reply Wed 3 Nov, 2004 09:58 am
Crying or Very sad
I have a fifth Bushmills Irish Whiskey…I can pass the bottle around so we can drown our sorrows.
0 Replies
 
FreeDuck
 
  1  
Reply Wed 3 Nov, 2004 10:00 am
colorbook wrote:
Crying or Very sad
I have a fifth Bushmills Irish Whiskey…I can pass the bottle around so we can drown our sorrows.


I brought my own glass. Give me a double.
0 Replies
 
Eva
 
  1  
Reply Wed 3 Nov, 2004 10:18 am
Just wipe off the rim and hand the bottle over here....
0 Replies
 
BumbleBeeBoogie
 
  1  
Reply Wed 3 Nov, 2004 10:30 am
Gus
I love you Gus.

51% of US voters failed their IQ test.

The stock market soared with Military Industry Contractors and the Pharmacutical and Insurance Companies leading the way followed by companies out-sourcing jobs and evading taxes via loopholes.

The Supreme Court will be damaged for decades.

The number of people without health insurance will grow.

Our military in Iraq and Afghanistan will continue to die along with Iraqi civilians.

Osama bin Laden will achieve his goal of bankrupting the US economy as the deficit soars.

My shame for 51% of my countrymen is more acute than ever.

I think we need a new Peace Corps with cadres of people working in the US South and Heartland, to open their minds to what is best for the country; that perceived "morality" does not necessarily make good government and that they are being manipulated to further the interests of corporate America against their own.

BBB weeps!

http://www.ibiblio.org/wm/paint/auth/munch/munch.scream.jpg
0 Replies
 
Thok
 
  1  
Reply Wed 3 Nov, 2004 10:34 am
BumbleBeeBoogie wrote:

Our military in Iraq and Afghanistan will continue to die along with Iraqi civilians.


Probably in Iran,too.

I think Bush is now more confident and despite the situation in Iraq he will order to attack Iran. But this can be harder and a new middle east war is there.

A theory which is not unlikely.
0 Replies
 
BumbleBeeBoogie
 
  1  
Reply Wed 3 Nov, 2004 10:41 am
Wallow In Chaos, And Laugh
MARK MORFORD'S NOTES & ERRATA
SFGate.com - November 3, 2004
Wallow In Chaos, And Laugh
(By Mark Morford)

A Bush-leaning outcome and one enormous bitter pill and you without your vodka

Oh dear god please not again.

Oh dear God please don't let it be all convoluted and depressing and messy and stupid and please don't let it all embarrass us on an international level all over again even more than it already has andeven more than it already is and even more than we've endured lo thesepast four debilitating and soul-crushing years. Hello? Please? Is italready too late?

Why yes, yes it is.

And lo and behold, it's apparently another completely tortuous and entirely knotted presidential election, still not finished and still not all ironed out and as of this writing Ohio is headed for a recount and Kerry still has a glimpse of a chance, and hence we still don't really know the outcome, even though it appears to be leaning toward the utterly appalling notion of another four years of Bush and another Republican stranglehold of Congress and repeated GOP chants of "More War in '04!"

Which is, well, simply staggering. Mind-blowing. Odd. Gut-wrenching. Colon-knotting. Eyeball-gouging. And so on.

You want to block it out. You want to rend your flesh and yank your hair and say no way in hell and lean out your window and scream into the Void and pray it will all be over soon, even though you know you're an atheist Buddhist Taoist Rosicrucian Zen Orgasmican and you don't normally pray to anything except maybe the gods of really exceptional sake and skin-tingling sex and maybe a few luminous transcendental deities that look remarkably like Jenna Jameson.

It simply boggles the mind: We've already had four years of some of the most appalling and abusive foreign and domestic policy in American history, some of the most well-documented atrocities ever wrought on the American populace and it's all combined with the biggest and most violently botched and grossly mismanaged war since Vietnam, and still much of the nation still insists in living in a giant vat of utter blind faith, still insists on believing the man in the White House couldn't possibly be treating them like a dog treats a fire hydrant.

Inexplicable? Not really. People want to believe. They want to trust their leaders, even against all screaming, neon-lit evidence and stack upon stack of flagrant, impeachment-grade lie. They simply cannot allow that Dubya might really be an utter boob and that they are being treated like an abused, beaten housewife who keeps coming back for more, insisting her drunk husband didn't mean it, that she probably had it coming, that the cuts and bruises and blood and broken bones are all for her own good.

And this election, it might be all be very amusing, in a Mel Gibsony, blood-drenched hamburger-of-Christ sorta way, were it not so sad and dangerous. It might all be tolerable and cute, in a violence-engorged, sexist, video-gamey sorta way, were it not so lopsided and wrong.

This election's apparent outcome, this heartbreaking proof of a nation split more deeply and decisively than ever, it simply reinforces the feeling among much of the educated populace: It is a weirdly embarrassing time to be an American. It is jarring and oddly shattering and makes you rethink what it really means to be a part of this country. The answer: It doesn't mean much at all. Not really. Not anymore.

This is the common wisdom on the progressive Left. Those first four toxic Bush years? A fluke. A phantasm. A stolen election. A gaffe, a mugging, a crime. But this? An election this close makes you reconsider. Maybe, after all, we aren't nearly as far along as we think. Maybe we're not all that sophisticated or nuanced or respectable a nation as we sometimes dare to dream.

Maybe, in fact, we're regressing, back to the days of guns and sexism and pre-emptive violence, of environmental abuse and no rights for women and an sincere hatred of gays and foreigners and minorities. Sound familiar? It should: It's the modern GOP platform.

Here's the thing: For tens of millions of us, it is simply unconscionable that we could possibly be led for another four years by a small and spoiled little man who has very little real idea what he's doing and even less of how the hell he got there. It would be funny, in a Adam Sandler, toilet-humored sort of way, were it not so poisonous and depressing. And yet it looks like we're stuck with it, like a shard of glass buried deep in the eye.

And the rest of the world? Well, it can only watch us and shake its collective head and wonder just what the hell is wrong with us, why so many millions of us would even consider re-electing the world's most inept and war-hungry and insanely inarticulate man to four more years of unchecked power, why our much-hyped much-coveted supposedly ultra-superior democratic system is so very deeply blotchy and knotty and spoiled.

So then, to much of Europe, Asia, Canada, Mexico, Russia, the Middle East -- to all those dozens of major world nations who want Bush out almost as much as the educated people of America, to you we can only say: We are so very, very sorry. We don't know how it happened, either. For tens of millions of us, Bush is not our president and never will be. That's how divisive. That's how dangerous. That's how very sad it has become.

And all signs point to the fact that the GOP steamroller appears to be just too powerful, just too well-oiled and blood soaked and fear inducing to be stopped just yet. After all, the Right has been working on this master plan and building their takeover strategy for about forty years. It's gonna take those of us working for change and progress and raw spiritual juice a little more than one or two to dissolve it away like the cancer it so obviously is.

Apparently, there are lessons yet to be learned. Apparently we must hit some sort of new low between now and 2008, attain some sort of seriously vicious status in the world before we will snap out of it. You think?

This much is clear: We are not, should Bush finally be declared the victor, headed for buoyancy and friendship and sincere hope for something new and refreshing. We are not, with another four years of what we just endured, headed toward any sort of easing of bitter tension, a sense of levity, or sexual openness, or true education, or gender respect, or a lightness of spirit and of step.

Maybe the best we can hope for, at this ominous and slightly sickening moment, is one hell of a lot more patience.
0 Replies
 
Fedral
 
  1  
Reply Wed 3 Nov, 2004 10:47 am
Presidential Race
President: George Bush (Republican)

Senate split
Republicans: 55
Democrats: 44
Independent: 1

House Split
Republicans: 232
Democrats: 202

If you find yourself wailing and moaning "How could he have won? The Republicans don't represent 'The People' " I ask you to step back and take an objective look at your views and ask if it may be YOU who is 'out of touch' with the true feelings of 'The People'.
0 Replies
 
Ticomaya
 
  1  
Reply Wed 3 Nov, 2004 10:47 am
Thok wrote:
BumbleBeeBoogie wrote:

Our military in Iraq and Afghanistan will continue to die along with Iraqi civilians.


Probably in Iran,too.

I think Bush is now more confident and despite the situation in Iraq he will order to attack Iran. But this can be harder and a new middle east war is there.

A theory which is not unlikely.


Perhaps Iran will come to its senses and toe the line, now that it knows Bush won.
0 Replies
 
cjhsa
 
  1  
Reply Wed 3 Nov, 2004 10:49 am
http://www.nojohnkerry.org/imagemedia/crybaby.jpg
0 Replies
 
Thok
 
  1  
Reply Wed 3 Nov, 2004 10:55 am
Ticomaya wrote:

Perhaps Iran will come to its senses and toe the line, now that it knows Bush won.


Presently not.
The "parliament" passes a bill for resume the enrichment and now they are demonstrate and burn US-flags.
0 Replies
 
cjhsa
 
  1  
Reply Wed 3 Nov, 2004 10:57 am
Just where do they get the U.S. flags anyway? Is there a U.S. flag factory in Iran?
0 Replies
 
Ticomaya
 
  1  
Reply Wed 3 Nov, 2004 10:58 am
Thok wrote:
Ticomaya wrote:

Perhaps Iran will come to its senses and toe the line, now that it knows Bush won.


Presently not.
The "parliament" passes a bill for resume the enrichment and now they are demonstrate and burn US-flags.


Hmmm. Let's bomb the piss out of them, then.
0 Replies
 
BumbleBeeBoogie
 
  1  
Reply Wed 3 Nov, 2004 11:10 am


In 1998 and 1999, Republicans cleared the field for George W. Bush. Members of Congress and other major officeholders threw their weight behind him to make sure he got the nomination. They united because their previous presidential nominee, a clumsy veteran senator, had gone down to defeat. They were facing eight years out of power, and they were hungry.

Do what they did. Give Edwards a job that will position him to run for president again in a couple of years. Clear the field of Hillary Clinton and any other well-meaning liberal who can't connect with people outside those islands of blue on your electoral map. Because you're going to get a simple president again next time, whether you like it or not. The only question is whether that president will be from your party or the other one.
0 Replies
 
cavfancier
 
  1  
Reply Wed 3 Nov, 2004 11:17 am
I heard this morning that quite a few voters didn't even know that Bush was running against a guy named Kerry, and couldn't name either running mate for the two hopefuls.
0 Replies
 
cjhsa
 
  1  
Reply Wed 3 Nov, 2004 11:18 am
You can thank P-Diddie and Bruce Springsteen for that, Cav.
0 Replies
 
cavfancier
 
  1  
Reply Wed 3 Nov, 2004 11:22 am
Well, to be fair, despite my opinions on Bush, both Paris Hilton and 50 Cent, among other celebrities involved with P-Diddie's 'Vote or Die' campaign didn't even bother to register, or vote. Yet, people are surprised that the youth didn't turn out in large numbers to support Kerry.
0 Replies
 
 

Related Topics

Obama '08? - Discussion by sozobe
Let's get rid of the Electoral College - Discussion by Robert Gentel
McCain's VP: - Discussion by Cycloptichorn
Food Stamp Turkeys - Discussion by H2O MAN
The 2008 Democrat Convention - Discussion by Lash
McCain is blowing his election chances. - Discussion by McGentrix
Snowdon is a dummy - Discussion by cicerone imposter
GAFFNEY: Whose side is Obama on? - Discussion by gungasnake
 
  1. Forums
  2. » Ratzenhofer's analysis of the election.
Copyright © 2022 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.03 seconds on 05/22/2022 at 01:22:00