Too cautious..?

It sounds like perhaps she isn't very confident in her physical abilities. Have you considered enrolling her in a gymnastics program?

Does you take her swimming, UKsupergal? Perhaps if you got her down to the pool, she can jump in from the side without risk of hurting herself - learn to throw herself around safely. I know some pools do sessions with large inflatables for climbing, which might be good for her as well. Maybe she just needs to gain more confidence in her physical abilities, like cjsha said.

And welcome to A2K from a fellow Brit!

Does she swim?
I wonder if toddlers who are taught how to swim at a young age are somewhat less fearful of physical activites than those who don't have the use of pools/lakes/sea. I remember being quite shy as a kid when I compared my physical abilities to my friends, until my dad took me to the sea to learn how to swim. I was absolutely terrified and thought I would pass out from fright when he let go of me in choppy seas. It took some time but I found my bravery scale rising substantially higher and was less afraid of other activities. I learned that if I could master swimming in the sea, then I could run, jump, climb and rough-house like the others. My fear was that I was not as good as everyone else. A good shot of achieving something that scares you might be the ticket to trying other things and being less fearful.

A toddler trampoline (supervised of course) is also another fun item with the child having to give up control and taking a risk physically.

You don't want a crazy child who will jump off the roof but then you don't want one who is afraid to try anything.

Hi UKsupergal and welcome to A2K.

I have an almost four year old but the opposite problem. He is a blur of daredevil activity. "Okay but be carefull" is my most often repeated phrase.

My first question to you is how physical of a lifestyle do you, yourself lead?

I'm a bit of a tomboy and while I'm lousy at sports, Mo thinks I great so we play soccer and Tball, we ride bikes, we walk, we run, we golf and we swim. (As many people have noted, swimming is a great physical activity for kids). Right now we are digging up our yard to relandscape next spring.

Kids really learn a lot just by watching their parents.

Good luck, but be careful what you wish for!

Thanks so much for the tips.

boomerang, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I won't be posting another message in a years time asking for help with my fearless 4 year old! I hope there's a happy medium somewhere??

I used to be a tomboy (couldn't help it with 2 older brothers) and as a kid I cracked my head open 4 times, but for some reason with my little one I've been ultra protective. I'm quite the opposite now, or at least I'm trying... Saying that though, perhaps I don't do enough in the 'physical' department.

We've not been swimming together since the summer holidays, but there's a pool at the gym I attend and it's probably about time that I got my moneys worth!

On our last visit, she finally let go of my hands (crikey, she took some persuading) and when she realised her armbands really were going to keep her afloat, she absolutely loved it. We even bought a float and goggles, but for some reason haven't been back yet .... I'm going to have to make sure we go at least once a week

Gymnastic classes are an excellent idea cjhsa I'll be on the phone first thing in the morning to try and get her enrolled.

Also, from now on I vow to limit my use of the words.. "BE CAREFUL"

Cheers

Good luck and welcome to A2K!

To be honest, the gymnastics idea was planted by my wife, who is going to enroll our son this week. He's home schooled, and he needs a physical ed "class".

I wouldn't worry. Each child develops differently. I have two little girls. The older is five now sounds like your child --very cautious and timid. The younger one is the opposite. She is a daredevil. Also if may make you feel better to know that the older girl has become more adventurous and confident as she got older. She still tends to be more timid and less aggressive than her peers, but that is just her personality. Actually there are great benefits to being less aggressive. My younger daughter is constantly banging her head, getting bumps and bruises and cuts and is a constant worry in that regard.

Cjhsa has a great suggestion. Taking some sort of play gym may boost her confidence. Just try to encourage her positively and not push too hard and she will be fine. And take heart as you said she is an extremely clever girl. She may just excel in other areas that are less physical.

Your daughter is one to observe and contemplate before barging in. This is not a bad character trait--in some situations, moving ahead with due caution is absolutely essential.

Allowing modified gymnastics, climbing and jumping, is an excellent idea. Encourage her to run, skip, hop and jump. Play balance games--can she stand on her left foot? Her right foot? Which foot is easier? Which foot is more fun?

Move on to one foot with arms up...then out...then fore and aft. If these exercises are fun times with you, they won't be "work".

She's just perfect the way she is and tomorrow she'll be more so.

Enjoy!

I can't thank you all enough for your help.

You've given such great advice and encouragement, I feel so much more relaxed. Thanks for the brilliant tips. I'll try and post an update some time in the future to let you know how we get on.

Cheers

Hi, UKsupergal and welcome to A2K.

Great advise has already been given, but wanted to add that the gymnastics idea puts her in someone elses hands (teacher/coach) where the swimming with you still has you in the picture. Perhaps swim lessons with someone else?

Kids are so good at picking up non-verbal cues, I just think that might make a difference.

You kinda confirmed what I was feeling Squinney, that maybe little 'un would gain more confidence if she had swimming lessons with someone else. I know that in the past she has picked up on my anxieties when trying out something challenging and possibly, if I was out of sight, she would be more relaxed.

I picked up a 'schedule of children's activities' from the gym, and there was a section detailing swimming tuition. It's around £55 for the course so I was thinking of enrolling her in a few weeks (thought I might take her a few times myself first, just to get her more used to the pool). They have dancing classes too which are free of charge, she'll love that!

I shall try to let her get on with things at her own pace, as I realise now that it's normal for some kids to be more cautious. Hopefully, getting her involved in a few activities however, will enable her to become more confident in her abilities.

Good Luck Uksupergal - I know how you feel. And some of these similar activities definitely helped my own cautious daughter gain some more confidence while doing things she loves.

Hi there,

I've not logged on for a while as my computer died but I picked up a new one today and thought I would update you all on my little girls progress.

Since I last posted a reply we have been attending the gym twice a week, which really does have fabulous facilities for kids. On a Wednesday my daughter has a 30 mins 'tiny tots' dancing class (which she absolutely LOVES!) and then dives into the pool with her cousins. On Saturday she goes swimming again, with myself, whilst her cousin attends soccer training in the sports hall, after which they get together in the soft play area for general diving around fun. In between visits she flings herself from the sofa onto the living room rug and dangles upside down from chairs etc.

The difference this has made, in such a short amount of time, is incredible! Not only is she more confident in her physical abilities but she is so much more at ease with the other kids. She has many more friends at nursery now and I really do think it's down to her new found confidence. She doesn't have to feel inferior / different any more.

Thank you all so much for your tips, they have worked wonders!

UKsupergal--

Thanks for letting us know the happy ending.

Happy holidays.

New confidence, a new outlook, and a new computer. Excellent! Upgrade!

Great to hear it! Have a wonderful holiday season.