Late night political humor

I never watch late night stuff anymore so this may be old to those of you who do. New to me tho.

Late Night Humor

"President Bush announced he has a five-point strategy for getting out
of Iraq. Points six through 10 will be handled by the Kerry
administration."
-- David Letterman

"President Bush's campaign is now attacking John Kerry for throwing
away some of his medals to protest the Vietnam War. Bush did not have anymedals to throw away, but in his defense he did have all his services
records thrown out."
-- Jay Leno

"President Bush says in the last month he has created 300,000 new
jobs. Yeah, they're called Kerry campaign workers."
-- Craig Kilborn

"Is it me or is Bush going everywhere Kerry goes? So far in the past
week, President Bush has followed John Kerry to Davenport, Iowa;  New
Mexico; Las Vegas; Los Angeles; and he follows him to Portland, Oregon.
....The only place he never followed John Kerry was Vietnam."
-- Jay Leno

"President Bush said that the people who are attacking our forces in
Iraq are getting more and more desperate because we're making so much progress. So just remember, the worse it gets, the better it is."
-- Jay Leno

"As of yesterday, the Bush administration still hadn't found the
source of the White House leak that outed a woman as a CIA operative. To recap, here are the things President Bush can't find: The source of the
leak, weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Osama bin Laden, the link
between Saddam and Osama bin Laden, the guy who sent the anthrax
through the mail, and his butt with two hands and a flashlight."
-- Tina Fey, Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update"

"The White House now has disputed allegations by members of the
House Intelligence Committee that President  Bush went to war with Iraq
based on vague intelligence. Of course he did: EVERYTHING Bush does is
based on vague intelligence."
-- Jay Leno

"Bush is smart. I don't think that Bush will ever be impeached,
'cause unlike Clinton, Reagan, or even his father, George W. is immune
from scandal. Because, if George W. testifies that he had no idea what
was going on, wouldn't you believe him?"
-- Jay Leno