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Tue 19 Oct, 2004 11:08 pm
Edit [Moderator]: Moved to Aging & Elder Care from General.
A Unique Retirement Plan
Kudos to the anonymous author
No Nursing Home for Me. I am checking into the Holiday Inn. With the average cost for a nursing home per day reaching $188.00, there is a better way when we get old and feeble. I have already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn. For a combined long-term stay discount and senior discount, its $49.23 per night. That leaves $138.77 a day for:
Breakfast, lunch, and dinner in any restaurant I want, or room service.
Laundry, gratuities, and special TV movies. They provide a swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, washer, dryer, etc. Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.
They treat you like a customer, not a patient. $5.00 worth of tips a day will have the entire staff scrambling to help you. There is a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free. The handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp). To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays.
For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there. While you are at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.
It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today. And you are not stuck in one place forever, you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city. Want to see Hawaii?They have a Holiday Inn there, too.
TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem. They fix everything and apologize for the inconvenience.
The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks if you are OK. If not, they will call the undertaker or an ambulance.
If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.
No worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation. The grandchildren can use the pool. What more can you ask for?
Therefore, when I reach the golden age I will face it with a grin. Just forward all my emails to the Holiday Inn!"
Upon telling this story at a dinner with friends and too much red wine, we came up with even more benefits the Holiday Inn provides to retirees:
Most standard rooms have coffee makers, reclining chairs, and satellite TV-all you need to enjoy a cozy afternoon. After a movie and a good nap, you can check on your children (free local phone calls), then take a
stroll to the lounge or restaurant where you meet new and exotic people every day. Many Holiday Inns even feature live entertainment on the weekends.
Often they have special offers, too, like the Kids Eat Free Program. You can invite your grandchildren over after school to have a free dinner with you. Just tell them not to bring more than three friends.
Pick a Holiday Inn where they allow pets, and your best friend can keep you company as well.
If you want to travel, but are a bit skittish about unfamiliar surroundings, in a Holiday Inn you will always feel at home because wherever you go, the rooms all look the same.
In addition, if you are getting a little absent-minded in your old days, you never have to worry about not finding your room--your electronic key fits only one door and the helpful bellman or desk clerk is on duty 24/7.
Being perma-skeptics, we called a Holiday Inn to check this story out and are happy to report that they were positively giddy at the idea of us checking in for a year or more. They even offered to negotiate the
rate (we could have easily knocked them down to $40 a night!).
See you at the Inn!
Very cute. Indeed. But- If you are in a nursing home, most likely you've lost the ability to do everyday things. Like put on your clothes, walk, bathe, feed yourself, or even turn on your other side when in bed. I know this not because I am elderly myself, but because I worked as an aide in a nursing home for 2 years.
30% of the residents there are there because of the things I've just mentioned. Diabetes that cost them an amputation / glaucoma / uncontrollable blood sugars / etc., sroke that takes away the ability to walk or even talk, advanced osteoporsis so bad they can't bend their knees, dementia or alzheimers that has taken over their minds and they can't remember their own children or what they did yesterday or live the same year over and over or extreme paranoia to believe the nurses are switching your pills to kill you. This is just the tip of the iceberg.
50% of the residents are there short-term for rehab. A broken hip, a complicated/extensive surgery, or malnutrition. The list goes on and on. These residents aren't just elderly. They are young too.
20% of residents are hospice patients. They are suffering from illnesses and diseases and are considered "end stange."
I have to admit, a nursing home isn't where you want to spend the last part of your life. But it's not the nursing home that takes away freedom, or individuality, or independence. It's the disease. I believe nursing staff do not get enough credit. They work so hard! Up to 16 hours a day! And they don't get the aknowledgement they deserve. It takes a special kind of person to work with the elderly. I worked 16 hour days 1-3 times a week due to the shortage. Nobody wants to be a nurse or aide. Why? Because they are under-appreciated, under-paid, and over-worked. I'm sure the residents that I worked for didn't like being "stuck" in a nursing home, but thanked god when they were in emergent need that wouldn't have been attended to at the "Holiday Inn."
Although I agree that the nursing home rate is ridiculous, you are getting what you pay for. Round the clock health care team, including but not limited to: nurses, aides, registered dieticians, doctors, physician assistants, physical therapists, social services, chaplins, activity directors/assistants, cooks, housekeeping, laundry, shuttle drivers, occupational therapists and etc etc. When you've lost the ability to take care of yourself, a nursing home is a god send.
Very great idea, I will consider it when I grow old
mchol - I certainly agree with you. The kinds of services that people in nursing homes need are NOT provided in motel rooms. What about dressing, bathing, and handing out of medications for people who can't remember to take their meds?
Even as a younger, healthier senior, who the hell would want to live where the population was changing daily? NOW if there were a motel like service that took in only long term senior residents, THAT might be a good idea.
Hmmm..............................Actually there is, in my part of the world anyway. There are many places in my area , called "independent living" that cater to the mobile senior. You can get anywhere from a motel like room to a two bedroom suite. Some places offer 1 meal a day with the plan, others all three. (The rooms have a kitchen in it, so people have options.
They do linens, and clean up your place once a week. Personal laundry is up to you. There is a pool, and activities in the facility. A facility bus takes people to stores and doctor visits.
Many of these facilities are dual purpose. They might have a floor or wing set aside for "assisted living", where one can get help with bathing, dressing and medications.
I was looking around for a place for my mother. In one brocure, in "independent living" the rates run from $1182- a month for a 360 sq. foot studio, up to $2067- for a 1026 sq. ft 2 B2B apartment. For the same facilities in the assisted living wing, the prices run $2186-$3112- mo.
Bear in mind, that these places are not nursing homes, where people who need medical services live.
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